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09 April 2009 @ 03:28 pm
Lost 5x12 Dead Is Dead  
Lost, your wig department is made of major suck. Seriously. And that'd be the less spoilery thing I had to say outside the cut. Also, it took five frigging hours to download. Not fun.

Team FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK!!!!!!!!!!

1. As long as the dead guy says there's a reason, then everything's just peachy. FRANK, I LOVE YOU. ♥

2. Seriously. That man is hot. Mm. Disheveled and half-bloody and just YUMMY. Mm. *lickslipslikewoah*

3. I don't like that thing at the end though. I mean, WTF Ilanawhat'syourname? She'd better not touch him.

4. Also, are Ilana and that other guy on drugs or shit? Was it Smokey? WTF just?

4b. HER PAL WAS CLINT'S SON IN GRAN TORINO! AND HE WAS A TOTAL DICK BTW. See, Clint, if you don't keep an eye on them look where they end!

Btw, how cool would that be to have Clint on Craphole Island?

Team DESMOND!!! FINALLY!!!

5. HA. I knew. I just knew that was what happened. I mean, exactly what I had been thinking since 316 but yay for seeing it, yay for actually seeing Desmond, yay for Penny and yay for Ben getting the hell punched out of him.

6. Ahhh, Desmond. ♥ Also, I maintain that he had the blue shirt under that sweater and it stopped the bullet because seriously, Des, not even hurt? Wooow.

7. Thankfully Ben did have that hesitation when the kid showed up.

Team ZOMBIE SEASON FTW

8. I can't seriously keep my head straight when I see all this dead people looking out of a beauty saloon.

9. Btw, Alex is totally ghost!Boone #2, except that he was a bit more subtle.

Team I kind of feel bad...

10. ... because this ep. was just hilarious. Or so I thought. I mean, I gathered it was supposed to be dramatic but it was too much crack for it to actually work. If Michael Emerson and Terry O' Quinn weren't as good as they are it'd have been a laughter fest.

11. I mean. Apart from the whole being judged by the SMOKE MONSTER thing which I found kind of stupid because wasn't it something mechanical...? there was a lot of other stuff. Like..

12. What was that thing at the beginning? Long-haired Charles was LOL-worthy, him arriving on that horse in that camp seemed straight out of Robin Hood movies and just, uhm, yes. Of course.

12b. RICHARD WAS VERY PRETTY THOUGH. I WANT MORE RICHARD IN MY LIFE.

13. Ben's wig in those two mid sequences was terrible. God. People. Hire some decent persons in the wig department, I pray you.

14. So Widmore was banished just like that because he had a liason off island? :// And me thinking it was something more... IDK, less trivial?

15. And that was Alex's abduction...? Wow. I was expecting something way more creepy. Seriously. And who the hell was the kid anyway?

16. The CGI were kind of cringe-worthy.

Team and so fucking what? (Ben related)

17. If this episode was supposed to make me like Ben or to make me think he works for the greater good or that he's a good person, then it didn't work. I mean, it was usual Ben. He lied, he mindfucked, he seemed like a decent person because they want us to empathize but I don't, I don't even think he's so crept out by Locke hanging around because I can't and won't bother to guess whether he's sincere or not and while I can buy that scene with Alex in the end, she's right. It's his fault and I'm not feeling sorry for him one bit.

18. IDK what to make of Locke here. I mean, he seems different. IDK, maybe he really is Christian #2. But I loved that exchange about following someone blindly asking questions that you won't get answered.

18a. That said, Locke... sounds FAMILIAR? I'm sure as fuck it does. -nod-

Team redshirts ftw

19. Ah, Cesar, we barely knew ye. Sorry. You weren't that bad really but I can't mourn you properly.

20. That other redshirt who was totally in love with Frank wasn't that bad, but why does that thing sound so Lord of the Flies to me? ://

21. Uhm, that's really everything I had to say. For being a Ben ep. it didn't piss me off half as much as I thought it would, Penny and Des live, I've finally seen Desmond's face and I guess it could have been better but it wasn't that bad either.

22. Only thing I have doubts about, why the fuck Ben would want Des to know he's sorry? For TRYING to kill Penny? What the hell would Des care anyway?
 
 
feeling: indifferentindifferent
 
 
 
(Deleted comment)
the female ghost of tom joad: lost hippie winsjanie_tangerine on April 9th, 2009 01:47 pm (UTC)
Oh, it totally WAS. I mean, horseback riding? Really? Give me a break.

Ethan...? Aha. Oh God. He aged a lot, didn't he? I just can't buy that he looked that old in S1!

I hope Ilana joins Cesar very soon, and it's Sun who takes care of her with her oar of doom. I'm so scared for Frank!

YES! SUN NEEDS TO SMACK HER DOWN ASAP. And Frank needs to be fine because Frank owns. ♥ I'd have rather had Cesar over her actually but whaatever. We'll wait.
elliotsmelliot: fickle bitchelliotsmelliot on April 9th, 2009 02:15 pm (UTC)
Okay, I am breaking silence to comment on your review, which I figured was safe to read. I am with you with how goofy this episode was. I commented to Mr. E.S. "How can O'Quinn and Emerson says these lines with a straight face?" Total crack! Maybe they let the wig master write a lot of it, because clearly that person was not doing his/her job.

I was also really underwhelmed with Alex's abduction. That was it? Danielle has a rifle, she should have at least ran after them. She should have tackled Ben. She should have done anything! I think the kid Ben was with was Ethan. Ditto about Widmore’s banishment. Um, that’s it? I hope there is more to it.

We only got glimpses of Richard – not enough!. His passivity is both intriguing and bothersome. He should be leader, not all these loser maniacs. Did he get in trouble once and Smokey told him to follow a new leader? At one point I thought he was totally making up Jacob so he could play the Jacob card whenever he wants!

It was cool to see Alex, and wouldn't it be amazing if she was actually alive and not a Locke worshipper zombie. You're right, at least Boone was more subtle and creative with his airport visions.

Thanks for giving me faith about Penny's survival but I was still on the edge of my seat through that whole sequence, and was shocked when Des was shot. Ahhhhhh! I think the line about Ben apologizing to Des was purely for the audience to make us squirm through the commercial break. Ben doesn’t apologize for that type of shit. He barely apologized for killing Locke.

Then I was worried by saving Penny, they had sacrificed Frank. God, who would have thought it would have been saner to stay with Ben. Um, Smokey when you are done judging everyone, go visit Illana please, and give Frank a ride to wherever he wants to go!


Edited at 2009-04-09 02:17 pm (UTC)
the female ghost of tom joad: lost hippie winsjanie_tangerine on April 9th, 2009 02:27 pm (UTC)
♥ Glad to know we're on the same page! Well, I actually enjoyed it even if it was seriously goofy indeed. That was exactly the right word.

"How can O'Quinn and Emerson says these lines with a straight face?"

'My name is Benjamin Linus and I'm really sorry, but I have to kill you!!!' -> really? I mean, really? I can't wait to see the gag reels for this season because I have a feeling that half will be them cracking up while acting this episode.

The whole Alex/Widmore scenes were underwhelming, I agree. I mean, that was it? I'd have expected Danielle to do anything really, not to stay there hypnotized by Ben's incredibly blue bug eyes. Because that was it..? I'd have rather not known in case. In my head it was way scarier.

He should be leader, not all these loser maniacs.

Maybe he just understood too well that leadership on the island doesn't ever mean having an easy life, which only makes him more intelligent than 90% of the people surrounding him.

Ha, Boone did take his time to be creative! I wish Alex was really alive... *rolls eyes* I maintain that the zombie season would be a glorious thing if they ever shot it.

Oh, there was a commercial break? Now that line does make sense, huh. Oh, and I'm e-mailing you soon another Penny thing not to spoil around here in case someone unspoiled reads but it's mostly good news. But yeah, Ben didn't seem to me like the person who would apologize for that.

who would have thought it would have been saner to stay with Ben

Really! Ilana is totally the new version of the crazy kid in Lord of the Flies, now I can't remember the name. I'm up with Smokey giving Frank a ride, not like the one he gave the original pilot though.
inthekeyofd: Jack-tattoos-lulinkha_kinthekeyofd on April 9th, 2009 02:25 pm (UTC)
I'm pretty sure that kid with Ben was Ethan.

Ben with a bad wig...PRICELESS.

I'm still not into Locke being the end all and be all of them, seriously, when does he really atone for what he did to Boone??????????

I really don't think that Ben was going to shoot her though, he put the gun down, but I think he is sorry he shot Desmond though, if he wanted to kill him, I think he would have definitely done it.

I think Widmore was banished because he had a life off the island and he must have profited some way, how did he make all that money when he was on the island most of his life before he got banished?
the female ghost of tom joad: lost jack **janie_tangerine on April 9th, 2009 02:37 pm (UTC)
Don't tell me about Boone. *sigh* I think he thinks he doesn't have to atone or something. I hope he's proved very wrong but still, if he keeps on pwning Ben like that I can put up.

The bad wig was too terrible for words. And ha, thanks. I completely missed Ethan, who really aged very, very badly.

Mh, Ben just doesn't seem to me like the person who would apologize to Desmond for shooting him. I mean, he barely apologized to Locke and he was behind a genocide, I can't exactly buy it.

Uhm, good point about Widmore. It still sounds a bit underwhelming but put like you said it's definitely more consistent of a reason.
Allie: Nature Boyalliecat8 on April 9th, 2009 02:28 pm (UTC)
HA, you're totally right, it was the Magic Blue Shirt that saved Desmond, what else could it have been?

And Ben actually has scruples when it comes to children? Huh. I guess by the time they're his 16-year-old daughter they're past the age of Ben's morality or something?

Did you notice how much Ethan looked like Karl? Could he be Karl's dad? *does math*

I usually don't read reviews until after I've written my own, but I just had to read a few and see if it was just me, or if that episode really was totally on crack. Not what Darlton was aiming for at all, I don't think, and it's kind of a shame because lately we've actually been getting a few answers that make sense!, but this episode was made of Dumbass. I cringed my way through it. Let's hope Sawyer will be back next week to make up for it all. :)

Edited at 2009-04-09 02:29 pm (UTC)
the female ghost of tom joad: lost des blue shirtjanie_tangerine on April 9th, 2009 02:40 pm (UTC)
LOL, totally! That shirt is an armor, I tell you.

Uhm, really. Ben has scruples!!! Well, I kind of thought that Penny and Des having a child would have been a deterrent not to mention it being very aaawwww-worthy when ep. 3 aired, figures that I was right. But hey, when you're 16 then you're free!

Uhm, that's a good one! *misses Karl*

No, this ep. was absolutely on crack. I don't think it was the target, but it was seriously hilarious at times, and not because it was supposed to. *sigh*
C: {alovelyfix} another lifealovelyfix on April 9th, 2009 03:54 pm (UTC)
he had the blue shirt under that sweater and it stopped the bullet
OH YES OH YES. ♥

I agree so much, there was a lock of cracky silliness. The whole smoke monster judgment thing was funny. "I believe your people call it The Monster." Ha..wow. The whole line about Ben wanting Des to know he's sorry, it didn't make any sense but when Desmond got "shot", I thought that line was Darlton's way of telling the Desmond fans, "We're going to freak your shit out for a minute now, but everything is going to be fine so don't have a heart attack." Yup.

Ben's wigs were so bad, but I can't believe how much younger the make-up and everything actually made him look. Craaazy.
the female ghost of tom joad: lost des/penny searcherjanie_tangerine on April 9th, 2009 09:34 pm (UTC)
Ha, the blue shirt is an armor. Because seriously, groceries don't stop bullets.

I can't still wrap my head about how crack this was but as long as you take it for what it is..

thought that line was Darlton's way of telling the Desmond fans, "We're going to freak your shit out for a minute now, but everything is going to be fine so don't have a heart attack."

Good one. I'm with you here. Even if really, continuity is not their best feature.

those wigs!! The make-up was incredible but the fake wig with the hair over his head was ludicrous. I seriously wish they had showed him balding early or something.
L: {lost} julietneated on April 9th, 2009 07:58 pm (UTC)
FRANK God you are so right about him he was darn hot... Guh and As long as the dead guy says there's a reason, then everything's just peachy. lmao

The wig department so needs help. Rofl that one of ben was so hilarious.

Desmond!!!! OMG YAY. I was worried for a second, but when he jumped ben I died of relief.
the female ghost of tom joad: lost hippie winsjanie_tangerine on April 9th, 2009 09:31 pm (UTC)
FRANK IS THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER HAPPENED TO THIS SHOW SINCE JULIET. True fact. I ♥ Frank so bad it's not even funny.

The wig department is terrible. Between Jack's fake beard, Boone/Shannon's wigs in Exposé and some other terrible stuff I still don't get why they haven't fired whoever works there already.

DESMOND YAY INDEED. I totally died of relief too. Sorry Ben, never try to kill Penny if Des is around.
L: {other} musicneated on April 10th, 2009 01:16 pm (UTC)
OMG Word. He is too gorgeous for words.

OMG I swear Ben was wearing the same wig Jack had in 'Man of science, man of faith'. lmao

Oh Des. He's so good at protecting his family. Not even bullets can stop him... (Oh and I need to add that scene to the hopefully epic Des/Penny picspam I want to do.)
twixcoffeecrisp7 on April 9th, 2009 10:36 pm (UTC)
I honestly thought I was watching the wrong show. HORSEBACK RIDING?! And I guessed who it was as soon as he opened his mouth, so that was totally anti-climactic. HORSEBACK RIDING?!

I hated the episode to be honest... Don't shoot me anyone! The smoke monster scene was so disappointing... Alex appearing was an ok idea, but to shout at Ben like a maniac? Not so cool. Michael Emerson and Terry O'Quinn were great though.
the female ghost of tom joad: lost lockejanie_tangerine on April 10th, 2009 11:38 am (UTC)
Me too. Seriously, I was like, did I d-l Robin Hood by mistake? :/ And more than anything, where did the horses go? O_O

And why should I shoot you? Sincerely I thought it was involuntarily hilarious all the way, but I've seen worst on this show. Which is strange because I usually hate Ben episodes. ;) the acting was probably the only thing that kept the thing together though.
alemyrddin: HurleyDudeVanalemyrddin on April 10th, 2009 02:26 pm (UTC)
1. Frank is always great.

4. I think it was the "sickness", they must have met smokey somehow (maybe if Locke is really smokey, that would explain things..)

5. It was awesome to see them. I am the only one who's still worried about them though. Because otherwise... would Ben be sorry just for trying?

7. You know it's all about babies!! At least little Charlie had a purpose (actually, two, because his name has another)

10. I found it pretty ridiculous. *sighs*

12. LOLL. Robin hood indeed! Although I found him kinda... hot. Weird.

13. LOL. indeed.

14. you know the island is a prude

15. the kid was Ethan!

16. *nods and cringes*

22. exactly my thoughts... that's why I am still a bit worried.
the female ghost of tom joad: lost hurleyjanie_tangerine on April 10th, 2009 09:11 pm (UTC)
1. Frank is just so good! ♥

4. Oh, good theory| They seemed somewhat like Rousseau's team. Mmmm.... I just hope that Frank doesn't have to suffer from whatever the hell it is.

5. Maybe it was just to mislead the audience and make us worry? *hopes*

7. TWO PURPOSES!!! You're so right! ;) See, much better than Aaron.. ;)

10. Well, yes. I didn't want to say it outrightly but it kinda was.

12. Uhm, he wasn't that bad! Still, the island is Sherwood. True fact. Maybe it's the answer to everything.

14. LOL totally!

16. Very cringe worty. *sigh* One would think they had the money for good CGI.

22. Maybe he got hurt after all? I sure as hell hope not. Even if I still don't get why Ben would feel sorry for it. :/
Janice: hawaii coastlinejaydblu on April 11th, 2009 02:52 am (UTC)
I just watched the show last night, and I was a little out of it when I did, but now that I've read your summary, I realize that it still didn't quite make sense. I mean, they answered questions, and filled in gaps, but for the second time this season, I feel, they kinda cheaped out on it. But, I guess.
And LOL on the wigs. Ben's wig-hair-whatever was barely passable. You're right, hire some professionals for pete's sake! And when I found out that dude was a younger Widmore, I almost laughed, just because he reminded me of some romance novel guy (but just not cute).
And Desmond!!! He and Penny and Charlie are okay. I was encouraging him to beat the shit out of Ben.
I have to watch it again, because I barely remember the rest, which is unlike me. :(
the female ghost of tom joad: lost des/penny searcherjanie_tangerine on April 11th, 2009 08:27 am (UTC)
No, you said it right. It was kinda cheapened out by its utter involuntary hilariousness. Sincerely I was expecting something waaay more dramatic for a Ben ep. Ben's wig was seriously terrible lol. And I can't believe they don't have the money to hire someone specialized! I was so encouraging Des too.