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08 June 2009 @ 09:28 am
fic, Lost/Supernatural: Fire Of Unknown Origin (Jacob/Castiel), er, hard R I guess  
Yes, I'm definitely nuts. But that was the porn battle prompt I couldn't get out of my head.

Title: Fire Of Unknown Origin
Rating: R
Pairing: Jacob/Castiel
Words: 1565
Summary: Castiel had told him to pay attention, it was, as humans sometimes said, like playing with fire; and Jacob had smiled his bright, angelic smile and said that if he got burned, it'd have just been fate.
Spoilers: er, general S4 for SPN (if you know who Castiel is then you're safe) and The Incident (5x16/5x17) for Lost.
Disclaimer: sure as hell they aren't mine, otherwise I wouldn't have lost half an hour between Lostpedia theories and angel lore. And I'm not rich enough, anyway.
A/N: written for the Porn battle for the prompt fate. Aaand, using for sacred_20 #15, fate, au_abc, x-over, and entering for lostfichallenge #95, crossover. Title stolen from Patti Smith, and by the way, Lost canon is a whole new level of complicate.

Once, Jacob wasn't his name. That was before he fell, but after the Fall.

Castiel remembers Jacob before he fell; he has forgotten his first name, but it was bound to be since he renounced it. They used to look down upon Earth together, then, when it was younger than they were. Jacob was bright, brighter than most of them, almost as much as Morningstar had been before the Fall; back then, he already was at odds with his other brother whose name Castiel forgot and whose new name Castiel can't remember because he renounced it, too. He wasn't as bright, though. This, he remembers.

--

They looked upon a certain, specific place back then; it was an island, one which might have been big for human standards but just a small, insignificant piece of land from Heaven. But they had noticed it both and it was some time after the Fall when Jacob told Castiel, during the last time he spoke their language, that he would have loved to see how it would have been to live there.

Would you forsake our Father?, Castiel had asked, horrified.

Of course not, Jacob had said. I wouldn't ever forsake Him. It wouldn't be about not wanting what I have. But it doesn't mean I can't want something for myself.

Castiel had told him to pay attention, it was, as humans sometimes said, like playing with fire; and Jacob had smiled his bright, angelic smile and said that if he got burned, it'd have just been fate.

Castiel never forgets this.

--

He and Jacob fell the next day, but not as Morning Star had; it's not Hell for them, and it's not humanity either, maybe because they really had done it just for themselves, and in such a human way. What Castiel knows is that they're the only ones who aren't reborn when falling and that don't join Hell, either; maybe it's because they tied themselves to that piece of land, and that's their own cross to carry. They're different from everyone else just as they were when they still hadn't fallen.

Castiel always remembers that, too.

--

He visits Jacob, sometimes. Twice every century, or so. The island means nothing to him, and he means nothing to him either, but Jacob's eyes aren't hurt by his true form and his ears can hear his voice. Their tongue sounds almost foreign as he speaks from his human body with his human voice. Every time he tells Castiel that it was worth it. After all, he still has eternity and the people who live and die here were quick to mistake an angel for a god; when Castiel asks him what is that he does, he just answers, I show them the way. And then I might give them a little push in the right direction. And Castiel asks him if it feels right and Jacob says that it feels like fate.

Castiel never forgets it.

--

Sometimes he's growing plants; sometimes he's talking to someone. sometimes Castiel hears Jacob and him arguing about progress, and he leaves because progress is an alien notion to him. Sometimes he's weaving a thread. Or his own clothes. Castiel stays there and watches, if they don't talk. Sometimes Jacob isn't there at all (he can leave the island); when, fifty years or so later, Castiel asks about the world, Jacob answers that he can't say. He should find out for himself. But Castiel isn't one for the world. Castiel knows his place, and his home.

Castiel never forgets Heaven.

--

You should try this, Jacob says once, in what Castiel believes humans call eighteenth century as he weaves. I don't need it, Castiel answers, and Jacob says that if he ever does, he's welcome to find him.

Castiel never forgets it, either.

--

And then Castiel has an assignment, and a vessel to find if it comes to that. He finds the vessel, and it comes to that.

Because the soul Castiel rescues from Hell is a man; Castiel had always thought of Jacob as the closest to a man he has known, and he's almost shocked when he realizes he will need a vessel. He had forgotten how his true form can hurt a human.

--

Being in a body is strange, and not exactly comfortable, and he doesn't recognize his own voice; but then, one day when he isn't watching his human charge, he somehow feels Jacob somewhere which isn't the island, and he knows he's welcome to find him. Castiel closes his eyes and finds himself in the city of Los Angeles. The month is December, the year 2007; about a hundred years since he spoke with Jacob last. He sees him getting out from a car, wearing a suit, looking like he has looked for the past four thousand years or so. Jacob smiles at him as Castiel stands on the sidewalk, and he whispers in a language Castiel has longed to hear since the day he left Heaven.

You recognized me?

One can feel you all the way, Castiel.


Jacob looks at him then, nodding with a small smile dancing over his lips.

He suits you.

You mean my vessel?

Yes. He just does.


Castiel won't tell Jacob that for him was the same when he saw his human form for the first time. It isn't the time or the place.

What were you doing, on that car?

Showing someone the way, Castiel. And giving them a little push in the right direction.


Castiel nods, he should have imagined it; and then Jacob's fingers are warm around his borrowed wrist. He doesn't need to ask and Jacob doesn't need to tell; fallen as he might be, Jacob could read him before and can read him now, and it goes both ways. Castiel nods, not knowing where he'll be in a couple of seconds, but he's somewhat surprised to see that it's an hotel one, and much more luxurious than the ones Dean Winchester usually chooses.

Why here? he asks, figuring they would go to the island.

Because the island is his too.

And you're my business only, is unsaid, and Jacob's hands push Castiel's coat down, revealing a suit way too similar to the one Jacob is wearing himself; Jacob's hands are behind his neck and they bring Castiel forward and Castiel keeps his eyes open as their lips meet. He parts his own and tastes that brightness on Jacob's tongue, that brightness he hasn't seen in its true light since thousands of years or so, and now he knows. Without a body, this couldn't be. And it isn't a question of feeling, because Castiel doesn't feel anything as a human means it, but he feels Jacob, he feels him as his hands open Castiel's shirt and roam over his chest quickly, almost hungry. Castiel gets rid of Jacob's belt and they fall on the bed in a tangle of sheets, both half-naked, Jacob still waring his shirt and Castiel wearing nothing, still kissing; if Castiel closes his eyes he sees light, bright and blinding and it feels like home, somewhat.

Or at least, the closest he has come to until now.

Now, Jacob has been here for thousand of years and has his own body, while Castiel has been here for three months and he's just borrowing a vessel (whose memories are carefully shielded right now); somehow it doesn't matter. Everything comes in a flow. It's easy. It feels right. It feels like fate, and Castiel moans softly when Jacob's hands are on his knees and he spreads his legs slowly. He bucks up and thrusts and meets Jacob's touch when two slick fingers stretch him open for a while (Castiel missed the moment when Jacob obviously put something over them, but he doesn't think it's important) and then Jacob is in and Castiel grips his shoulders. This is feeling and not really feeling, it's being human but not really, it's doing something that the core of their nature forbids except that now it doesn't, and he can't help wondering whether it was bound to happen since the beginning of times. Jacob's hand is bringing him off and Castiel feels at one with this body, and wants more, and doesn't want for it to end, but as everything that isn't immortal it's bound to, and as he comes he feels that brightness surrounding him and his own grace answering back. He realizes Jacob still must have some of his somewhere and it's his last coherent though before two lips claim his again, and Jacob whispers, make sure you remember this.

Castiel is pretty sure he won't ever forget.

--

He feels it when it happens a week later or so, and he actually stops dead in his tracks while talking with Dean; he probably became paler since Dean actually ended up shaking his shoulder with a concerned look and asking what had hit him.

Castiel can't explain that he knew someone, once; that he had told him that he was playing with fire, and that he had answered that it'd have been fate if he got burned.

He can't do anything and he never was meant to; and he can't explain Dean that fate just caught up with Jacob, and that he indeed got burned. But it doesn't change anything.

Castiel remembers it all.

End.
 
 
feeling: weirdweird
on rotation: Led Zeppelin - When the Levee Breaks | Powered by Last.fm
 
 
 
srs bsnsibroketuesday on June 8th, 2009 11:17 am (UTC)
Damn. That was cool.
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural castieljanie_tangerine on June 8th, 2009 03:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you! <3 I wish I knew where it came from though, but as long as it works.. ;)
catoasapun: [SPN] Castiel faded wingscatoasapun on June 9th, 2009 01:24 am (UTC)
Oh wow, this is awesome!

I never, ever, ever, ever would have considered this crossover or this pairing, but you write it with such ease. It makes so much sense like this, and I really enjoyed it.

I like how you've written both of them. Granted, I am not nearly as familiar with Jacob as I am with Castiel (but really, who is?), but from what I can see you've been very true to both of them in the way they think and speak.

Lovely job!
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural castieljanie_tangerine on June 9th, 2009 08:11 am (UTC)
Aw, thank you so much! <3

Sincerely, I'd have never thought about it in a thousand years but then I saw it on the list of the porn battle prompts (it was the only SPN/Lost crossover, figure it out) and I had to give it a try. And really, who is familiar with Jacob? I sure as hell am not, and clearly all the theories on Lostpedia say that he's either an Egyptian god or the real God so I just ended up more confused. ;) I'm so really happy you thought it worked, thank you so much again! <33
bachlava: Castielbachlava on June 9th, 2009 05:48 pm (UTC)
Ooh, this is such an interesting concept! I never would have thought of it in a million bajillion years, but I'm very glad that you dreamed it up! You've done such a good job capturing the notes of beauty and anguish and longing, and I love the voice you've given Castiel: ethereal yet not detached. This is wonderful.
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural castieljanie_tangerine on June 10th, 2009 06:33 am (UTC)
Oh, I can't take the credit for coming up with it since it was a porn battle prompt or either I wouldn't have ever thought about it, but much glad you liked it! As soon as I read it I had to go for it, lol. And I usually don't write Castiel that way but I think it's a plausible version so much glad it worked for you, thanks so much! ♥
Zelda: Castielzelda_zee on June 10th, 2009 12:19 am (UTC)
I really like how you brought these two together and the whole concept of Jacob as a fallen angel is perfect and works better, I'm sure, than anything canon will give us. Lovely work!
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural crackjanie_tangerine on June 10th, 2009 06:35 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you so much! Fallen!Jacob was kind of the only plausible way I could come up with to hook them up, and if canon gives us anything like the theories on Lostpedia I'll probably stick with my version. ;) Thank you again, glad you liked it!
bullet to the beast: righteous bloodthevinegarworks on June 12th, 2009 04:29 am (UTC)
So since I left LOST fandom before it got ridonkulously complicated, I have no idea who Jacob is, but that doesn't stop me from LOVING THE HELL OUT OF THIS STORY. It's absolutely beautiful, man, fuck.

The way you presented the passage of time was spot-on. And the "remembers/never forgets/etc" tied everything together wonderfully. The scene where they, uh... consummated? Their epic love for each other was just gorgeous and heart-wrenching; I could really feel how intimately they knew each other.

...if Castiel closes his eyes he sees light, bright and blinding and it feels like home, somewhat.

Oh god, this. This.

And the ending part?! GUH. So sad! I could visualize that perfectly, Castiel suddenly blanching at the feeling of Jacob's death (or what I'm assuming is his death, hah), as if a part of himself had been ripped straight out.

Everything about this was gorgeous and just about ripped my heart out, bb. Beautifully executed, beautifully written, awesome concept... Just all-around excellent fic.

Aaaaand end long rambling comment. *facepalm* Gotta remember to stop doing that. >.-
the female ghost of tom joad: lost jacobjanie_tangerine on June 12th, 2009 12:29 pm (UTC)
Uh, WOW? Don't ever apologize for rambling comments, they make my life! And especially since you aren't in Lost anymore, I'm really thrilled you liked it this much even if you don't know who Jacob is. Uh, btw, he's the sexy guy in my icon who was supposed to be sort of the island's god, then we found out they were two and then he died in the S5 or so it seemed and we're all even more confused than usual, lol. Making him an angel was just me trying to find a plausible way to sex those two but considering that we don't know a thing I figured I was allowed. ;)

Also, yeah, it was his death and he kinda got stabbed and thrown on a fire, so it was quite literal. ;) ;) And seriously, you flatter me way too much. I'm really so happy you liked it, especially considering that I spent half the time writing it wondering what the hell I was doing, and that you liked Castiel here. I usually don't write him as the detached-angel-self so it's even more awesome that you liked him here. And thank you again, this comment = best thing that happened to me today really. ;) <3
Aurilly: boone broodsaurilly on June 19th, 2009 12:52 am (UTC)
This is just... this is the best thing that has ever happened. I know I'm going to be rereading it into eternity. I do not know where this came from, but it's WONDERFUL. The idea of Jacob as an angel, too, and how they recognize one another and Castiel visiting the island, and how Jacob helped him feel more comfrotable in the bod,y and then the end... OH!

I'm sorry this is not more articulate, but I couldn't love it any more if I tried. You captured this perfect dreamstate and the passing of a whole lot of time, and then made the pognant moments so strong. ANd I loved how fluid and magical all of the traveling was.

Sigh. You are too good. +mem
the female ghost of tom joad: lost constantjanie_tangerine on June 19th, 2009 01:13 pm (UTC)
Uh. Hi, I'm overwhelmed. This = some of the best comments ever really, also because I still need to understand where this whole thing came from, lol. Angel!Jacob was really the only plausible way I found to have them in the same scene at all, but it's a fascinating possibility and sincerely, canon doesn't say anything against it. ;)

And don't worry, this is seriously more than enough! It totally made my day, thank you so much! I'm really happy that you liked it this much. ♥
amydalena75amydalena75 on July 20th, 2010 05:37 am (UTC)
I like this fic, at first I do not know much about Lost verse and the 'He' you mention in Italic.. so I read all about Lost at wiki and watch Lost clips at youtube - the series has the most beautiful ending. Now I know more, and like fic more. I stumble upon this fic because I was searching for Cas/Luci fic.. and because I saw a photo (I do not know if the photo is a manip or not) of Misha and Mark hugging each other at All Hail King Mish Mish. Thanks for sharing and keep writing :D
the female ghost of tom joad: lost/spn otp 2.0janie_tangerine on July 20th, 2010 05:59 pm (UTC)
Aw, thank you! :D I'm so really glad that you liked it. And ha, I wrote this before Mark got cast as Lucifer and so when I heard the casting news I kind of laughed for a good length of time. Kind of. Well. ;) Anyway, it's awesome to know that it worked for you even if you aren't familiar with Lost. Even if not being familiar with it is a sane choice. :D Thanks again!
morganlucas41: castiel b/wmorganlucas41 on November 13th, 2011 08:11 pm (UTC)
Found it! Wow, that was great. I LOVE the idea of Jacob as an angel - it really makes sense, doesn't it? And his issues with MIB are totally reminiscent of all the angels' issues with each other. So that's fantastic. I loved Jacob's relationship with Castiel, too, of course.

I always sort of marvel at people who can write crossovers well, which you totally can, so - great work! Anyway I know this fic is super old but I figured I'd leave a comment anyway :)
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural castiel 5.0janie_tangerine on November 15th, 2011 08:37 pm (UTC)
Hee thanks for commenting! No matter if it's old, it's always nice to hear an opinion. I'm so glad that this worked for you even if it's been more or less jossed/kripked/darltoned to the end of time. Then again I wrote it after S4 and I still had no idea of the angel dynamics, so actually when it turned out they were indeed pretty similar I had moments of 'seriously if they had really been angels it'd have made so much sense'. ;)
morganlucas41morganlucas41 on November 16th, 2011 02:21 am (UTC)
Oh, I totally thought it worked - I was really just thinking of it as an AU, and from a characterization standpoint, the idea of Jacob as an angel totally works!