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15 April 2010 @ 11:47 pm
fic, Lord Of The Rings: And I'll Love All Things That Grow And Are Not Barren (Faramir/Éowyn), PG  
Title: And I'll Love All Things That Grow And Are Not Barren
Rating: PG
Pairing: Faramir/Éowyn
Words: 740
Summary: It’s not just that he’s a good man and that he gets her in a way no one else ever did, it’s not just that he was right when he guessed that she wouldn’t leave the houses because he wouldn’t; it’s that he doesn’t want her to be anything else than what she is, and he doesn’t expect her to be anything other than what that.
Spoilers: er, for the book's ending?
Disclaimer: Lord Of The Rings: TOLKIEN'S. Not mine. Not even close.
A/N: written for yersi_fanel for the five acts meme with the prompts happiness, happy endings and maaaybe a bit of possessiveness. Maaaybe. Also, this = my LOTR OTP for life, but I don't exactly write LOTR so I hope it's decent. Title taken from the book itself because slapping song titles on Tolkien-related fic feels like blasphemy.

Once, dying was her only wish. It had something to do with the man she thought she wanted made clear he was meant for someone else, and something else to do with nature giving her a body that betrayed her true self. She had wished to be like his brother, to ride out in battle, and to at least die fighting and being remembered as a warrior; it tore at her heart to always stay behind, to always suffer because she wasn’t born a man, and when she left her home, she left it searching for death and recognition. For a short while, she had finally been what she felt she was instead of feeling trapped; and if it meant darkness claiming her life, well, so it was bound to be.

She had hated Aragorn for bringing her back. She really had, for a time.

Now she doesn’t anymore.

Never she’d have imagined to spend her days growing a garden, or her hands dirty with earth instead of blood; but that’s what her life is now, and what still surprises her is that it doesn’t feel like a prison. It doesn’t feel like she isn’t being herself. Maybe it’s because she chose it on her own, maybe it’s because of the reason she chose it in her first place.

She knows that despite everything (mostly, that they’re married) sometimes he still wonders if he’s a second choice, and at times she thinks that it’s unfair. Then she remembers that he has spent his life being the second choice for almost everyone except for his dead brother, and after all she can’t blame him. It’s not exactly unknown whom her heart used to wish for. Except that it was her head and not her heart, it was what Aragorn represented and not who he was.

Now it’s her heart, though, and there’s no one else she would want to wake up next to, no one else whose touch she craves, no one else she wants. It’s not just that he’s a good man and that he gets her in a way no one else ever did, it’s not just that he was right when he guessed that she wouldn’t leave the houses because he wouldn’t; it’s that he doesn’t want her to be anything else than what she is, and he doesn’t expect her to be anything other than what that. Maybe it’s why she finally realized that she didn’t need swords or battles to be happy, or maybe it’s in the way he looks at her like she’s the most precious thing he has ever been blessed to lay his eyes upon.

But she never was the tame, shy kind of woman, and if she wants something, she will get it; after all, if it hadn’t been for Aragorn, she would have gained a worthy death and a place in history as the fighter she always wanted to be. If now her goals have changed, it doesn’t mean that she won’t reach them.

One day, she will make Faramir understand that she doesn’t settle for second choices but just for the best, and that her life is exactly the way she wants it (maybe not the way she imagined it, but that’s not relevant now); she will make him get that she’s proud to think of herself as his woman and no one else’s, and she will make him get that thinking of him as her man in return fills her with a warmth she had never known before. She doesn’t doubt that one day she will accomplish it, and she’s confident that that day isn’t far from now. And she knows patience and she knows waiting, after a life spent doing just that; there’s no need to feel like there isn’t enough time. There is.

For now, she just hopes that even if he still isn’t there yet, he can see how happy he makes her. And he does. He really does. She might have had to learn to love him instead of wanting him from the beginning, but it doesn’t make what she feels any less true.

While she had never wished for a happy ending, if only because she thought she could never get any, it doesn’t mean that she isn’t treasuring the one she realized she could have, if only she decided to take it. And she did, and she doesn’t regret it for one second.

End.
 
 
feeling: okayokay
on rotation: leaving on a jetplane - john denver