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12 May 2010 @ 11:16 am
Lost 6x15 'Across The Sea'  
1. I am pretty sure that Darlton wanted the Very Important mythical epic episode.

2. I spent forty minutes laughing like a maniac. I swear I did. It was just so.. so... so not intentionally funny that I couldn't freaking help that.

3. First thing: if that was supposed to be in Roman times, will someone explain Darlton that they should hire some language coach? Because at the beginning I just didn't get what they were saying and I barely got the language, then the Claudia girl starts speaking in Spanish (WHUT???) when in theory it should have been Latin and then they all start talking in English and they call one of the children JACOB and not the Latin version of that?

Seriously?

I mean, I never asked for coherency, but...

4. This said, birth scene #7347893478392 was absolutely not relevant and avoidable. Also, goddamn it, I can't fucking believe that she was pregnant with TWINS and that she didn't SUSPECT THAT FOR A SECOND. Also, jfc, Darlton, you want to have birth scenes, DO IT RIGHT. It's not like I've ever had a kid but they aren't that clean A SECOND AFTER THEY'RE BORN. Also, since her mom hadn't picked a name for used-to-be-Silas... HE DOESN'T GET A NAME. Lady who used to be on the West Wing in that only ep I watched because JBJ was in it, it wasn't like after killing his mother you couldn't choose him a name, you know.

5. Also, I had totally called that the blond kid was bb!Jacob when he showed up in Lighthouse. Eeeee.

6. Also, as soon as I saw the white light coming from the cave which seemed out of Lord Of The Rings on ecstasy, I was like 'oh dear, in the next thirty minutes used-to-be-Silas is totally ending up taking a swim in there and he becomes Smokey for that reason and he can't live the island because somehow he became the essence of said island and if he goes, pffff, bye bye.'

Dear Darlton, if even I start to get where you're going ten minutes in, it means that you're doing it wrong. Whaaatever.

7. Bb!Smokey was cute though. Poor darling, HE JUST WANTED TO GO SEE THE WORLD! And DUH, then he grows up to be Silas Adams. Also Jacob has a tendency to punch him or what?

8. So, the woman who raised them or whatever was the first Jacob-like figure and she had wanted to get killed because she couldn't stand that anymore? Eeeee. That's just the way to obtain it, lady! Also, was it her killing everyone? Duuuuh.

9. Adam & Eve being used-to-be-Silas and her: I called it a second after I saw the black stone. Predictable, so predictable.

10. This, though, brings us to the best thing of this ep. Aka, as zelda_zee pointed out, JACK'S HAIRY CHEST! \o/ I had missed that sight, so much. Actually, I had a total S1-I-fucking-miss-you moment at that scene. Ah, when Jack had the hairy chest. Ah, when I still liked Kate. Ah, when Locke was still awesome. Ah, when Boone was still alive.

Ah, when this show was so good. :/

Yeah, more or less like that.

11. This, anyway, just backs up my theory: Mark Pellegrino is perfectly aware that they gave him the same part on both shows and he plays it likewise so that we can get confused. 'Cause Jacob's mommy issues = Lucifer's daddy issues much? I mean. Srsly.

12. Apart from that: jfc their mom or whatever? What a bitch. I can believe they were screwed up demi-gods.

13. Also, kudos on managing to re-use every possible line we knew by heart. From the heart of the island to they come, they corrupt etc, to you're special and whatever? WE KNOW. It just sounds trite at this point.

And amusing as fuck, but that's another entire thing.

14. Also, this show: Greek tragedies on crack. Seriously, Jacob/used-to-be-Silas have their Oedipus complex much or what? 'Cause duh. Between the incest-y stuff going on between the whole three of them (well, fine, she wasn't strictly their mother but duh) I was thinking 'Greek tragedy on drugs. Greek tragedy on drugs.' And so on. Sorry, I guess that doing that five years in high school had effects.

15. Only other redeeming point apart from Jack's chest: Marksha and Titus Welliver = pretty. Pretty. PRETTY. Hey, at least.

16. So, what did this fantastic, epic, mythic episode reveal us, JUST ONE WEEK AND A HALF BEFORE THE FINALE?

a) Used-to-be-Silas and his mom are Adam & Eve (and that's probably the only sort of historical-in-show-terms question they answered);
b) Used-to-be-Silas built the frozen donkey wheel;
c) Jacob and used-to-be-Silas have mommy issues too, in the lack of a father;
d) The heart of the island IS A BIIIG CHUNK OF LIIIGHT IN A CAVE which is also possibly, er, I dunno, something important for the fate of the world;
e) Jacob and used-to-be-Silas are actually brothers;
f) Used-to-be-Silas is apparently so pissed off because while he's a major character no one even tried christening him. And at that I can sort of get that.

In conclusion: considering that there's one ep and then the finale and then it's done and they still have EVERYTHING ELSE to tie up, a big whole chunk of nothing.

17. At this point, though, we can safely say that: Jacob isn't the devil or God or anything else, just this poor formerly human guy who ended up being immortal because apparently you get to be that if you protect the island, that used-to-be-Silas can't leave the island without consequences because after he took that swim he became the heart of the island (which I figure could work with S1, since I think that when Locke said he had seen said the heart of the island and that it was beautiful or whatever, he was in Smokey's proximities) and took all that beaaautiful light inside him. Ew. Also, we can safely say that his original body is gone for good but that in smoke form he can appear as whoever he wishes, himself included. Why the fuck would he have needed Locke to die in order for his plane to work I have no idea, but logic = not this show's forte. I still don't get the whole killing Jacob/used-to-be-Silas works but whatever. Also Jacob, petty much with thinking that you were second best? Aw.

18. Anyway this shit re Jacob/MIB being brothers at least makes a lick of sense. Except that apparently slashing them meant writing incest and we just learned it, but whatever. It's not like I actually shipped them or anything. *cough* likes Jacob/Richard best *cough* Also, Jacob + used-to-be-Silas' body in the end near the lake = Boone and Shannon in Hearts and Minds much?

19. In conclusion: this whole ep barely made a lick of sense, defied any kind of logic, didn't tell anything especially important even if it should have been the contrary, was so involuntarily amusing that I spent it laughing like a maniac, had some remarkably not-good writing, featured two very pretty people and it was good because I could ogle at them, was generally just not what it should have been and the best thing of the whole shebang was that it featured Jack's hairy chest.

I fear that it isn't what Darlton had planned for it, but it kind of feels like the Ben episode last season. It was supposed to be important stuff and it was mostly funny in the not voluntarily way. Whatever. I'd give it 3 out of ten overall and 9 for the amusement level.

20. And since at this point I could have a number 20... Jesus, I miss the Ben & Widmore show. And I also miss the '48 people on a goddamn island who don't know what the fuck is going on' show. At this point I just hope that the finale manages to fix as much as it can, but eh. I guess we'll just brace ourselves for another bunch of people dying next week and see how it goes?

That said, hopelessfangirl linked to this on Twitter. I think I like it better than the actual episode. Scratch it, I liked it a LOT better than the actual episode.

 
 
feeling: cynicalcynical
 
 
 
thandie: preciousssssthandie on May 12th, 2010 09:24 am (UTC)
Here, DIAGONALLY.

OMG this is awesome and I don't even watch LOST, lol. Is the other guy the one who played War on SPN or am I seeing things?
the female ghost of tom joad: glomping!janie_tangerine on May 12th, 2010 09:27 am (UTC)
OF COURSE, DIAGONALLY!

Yep, he is the same one who played War. Which is why Lost/SPN is, in my head, a show crossover OTP of doom because I mean, the other one's Lucifer AND THEY'RE BROTHERS. Come ooon. ;) Anyway, that video totally made more sense than the episode did which I guess it's Lost for you, lol. But yep, AWESOME.
thandiethandie on May 12th, 2010 09:31 am (UTC)
I had seen an episode, I think the last one of the previous season, where they were talking on the beach and I thought the scene looked very cool. I almost thought I'd start watching again! Mark Pellegrino is a cool guy, I really wish they had used him more on SPN. :/

And I love his cracky little laugh in here when he wins, LOL.
the female ghost of tom joad: lost/spn otp 2.0janie_tangerine on May 12th, 2010 09:34 am (UTC)
Yep, that was the S5 finale. Aka, utter and complete mindfucking from second number one. But that was totally a cool scene, agreed. And yeah, word. I think that he was evenly both on Lost and SPN because he was contracted on both but yeah. I'd have loved it if they used him more in both.

And LOL YES THAT'S TOTALLY THE BEST PART. <3
thandie: dean and little samthandie on May 12th, 2010 09:40 am (UTC)
Poor bb, underused in both shows, and he even plays the same role! What an underachiever. :P

Me, I think I'll have to watch the last episode, just to see with my own eyes how they wrap this up.

ETA: actually I have no idea if he's good or evil in here, I was convinced he was Lucifer but not sure about it.

Edited at 2010-05-12 09:44 am (UTC)
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural dean/samjanie_tangerine on May 12th, 2010 11:38 am (UTC)
Yeaaah. And HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO WORK MUCH! I mean, he plays them kind of the same way even if Jacob was way less straightforward. Until last episode, but eee. Underachiever indeed. BAAAD. ;)

Ha, yeah, at this point I really need to see that too. I mean, I stuck with this thing four years and I don't have an idea of how they'll solve it so... eee. Whatever, we'll see.

Duh, they had implied that he could've been Lucifer but after this last episode I pretty much think we can rule that out. It'd have been cool, though. :D
bold_seer: that jacob guybold_seer on May 12th, 2010 09:43 am (UTC)
Erm, do I even need to watch this? Well, I guess I can see if I'm still able to find it in, what, five days, without much trouble.

*cough* likes Jacob/Richard best *cough*

:D

it kind of feels like the Ben episode last season

How sad is it that I don't even remember which ep you're talking about?
the female ghost of tom joad: lost richard/jacobjanie_tangerine on May 12th, 2010 11:33 am (UTC)
LOL, it isn't sad because that wasn't exactly memorable. Er, it was the one where Ben had a Very Bad Flashback wig, Locke had him whipped and he met Alex's ghost and idek what else happened except that we saw him kidnapping Alex and it was Very Anticlimactic.

Er, well, if you want the pretty you probably want to? It's bad, but while pretty much everyone thought it sucked period, I thought it sucked but that it was also quite the amount of lulz, so.

Heee. Jacob/Richard forever. ;)
Jascrystalchain on May 12th, 2010 09:46 am (UTC)
I haven't even started watching it again yet, but the little Collect Four Million video of Jacob and MIB? LOL. I can't stop laughing xD
the female ghost of tom joad: jus in bello misha underwearjanie_tangerine on May 12th, 2010 11:34 am (UTC)
That thing IS SO WONDERFUL I CANNOT EVEN SAY. I LOVED IT. It's way more brilliant than the actual ep imo. ;) ;)
Laura: Lost: Christian is not amusedpolvodestrella on May 12th, 2010 10:52 am (UTC)
I have to say that it was pretty hard for me to stay awake during this episode. It was slow, and I found a bunch of those scenes pointless. And that woman (the mother who is not the mother) kinda bothered me - even if that thing she wore in her hair that looked like a spider web (which makes me think that maybe she's the Morticia Adams of the island) that was kinda amusing.

*sighs*

As you say shirtless Jack was probably the best of the episode.
the female ghost of tom joad: lost jack UNFjanie_tangerine on May 12th, 2010 11:35 am (UTC)
LOL, Morticia Adams of the island kind of sums it up. And yeah, I'd have probably found it boring if I hadn't been having the time of my life laughing at the before mentioned points. A bunch of it was indeed pointless. :/

Shirtless Jack always makes stuff better. -nods eagerly-
(Deleted comment)
the female ghost of tom joad: tangerinesjanie_tangerine on May 12th, 2010 03:53 pm (UTC)
Yeah, except when they aren't meant to, but eh. Amusing > not amusing. ;)
the awkward young shadowgwape on May 12th, 2010 01:18 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHA I died a little of joy at that clip.
the female ghost of tom joad: loljanie_tangerine on May 12th, 2010 03:58 pm (UTC)
ME TOO. I NEED ICONS FROM IT.
elliotsmelliot: Jacobelliotsmelliot on May 12th, 2010 01:48 pm (UTC)
Also, as soon as I saw the white light coming from the cave which seemed out of Lord Of The Rings on ecstasy.

I kept looking for Gollum! It also reminded me of the Phantom menace, mainly because of the kids and bad dialogue.

I admit to laughing too. There was nothing in that episode that was genuine or interesting. It's like they tried so hard to make it bad.

Connect 4 million! Awesome!
the female ghost of tom joad: lost jacobjanie_tangerine on May 12th, 2010 04:15 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I so was waiting for Gollum to jump out from somewhere!

t also reminded me of the Phantom menace, mainly because of the kids and bad dialogue.

Word, except that at least PM had Ewan McGregor and Liam Neeson sort of making it bearable, this... eeee. Not so much.

It's like they tried so hard to make it bad.

I know really? :/ I wish I could have taken one second of it seriously but... I couldn't. Not really.

I maintain that Connect 4 Million > this episode. ;)
Janice: smug mibjaydblu on May 12th, 2010 01:53 pm (UTC)
THAT VIDEO!!! OMG. That was AWESOME, You're right, it was way better than the episode. To say I was disappointed with the epi (and I love LOST almost more than my own children-almost) is a gross understatement. It could have been a really great hour of television, but it stunk sucked, um I didn't care that much for it at all.

The pretty, yes, the pretty. The only redeeming thing about the episode. And the Adam and Eve thing, okay, now we know for sure.

18. Anyway this shit re Jacob/MIB being brothers at least makes a lick of sense. Except that apparently slashing them meant writing incest and we just learned it, but whatever. It's not like I actually shipped them or anything. *cough* likes Jacob/Richard best *cough*
LOLs at this. I think it would be okay to continue slashing them too, if only to correct the story? And,mmmm, Jacob/Richard. That's nice too. ;)

19. In conclusion: this whole ep barely made a lick of sense, defied any kind of logic, didn't tell anything especially important even if it should have been the contrary, was so involuntarily amusing that I spent it laughing like a maniac, had some remarkably not-good writing, featured two very pretty people and it was good because I could ogle at them, was generally just not what it should have been and the best thing of the whole shebang was that it featured Jack's hairy chest.
I agree with this 99.9%, because instead of laughing, I was doing this o_O *sigh*


the female ghost of tom joad: lost used-to-be-silasjanie_tangerine on May 12th, 2010 04:35 pm (UTC)
I KNOW REALLY? IT MADE MUCH MORE SENSE THAN THE EPISODE, TRUE FACT. I usually am fairly easy to please, but this round... it was just... er, I can't defend anything except for the pretty. :/// It could have, it could have, but they just had it all wrong.

It's good to know about Adam & Even but eh, I had seen it coming from a mile away so in the end I was just 'fine, great, gimme Jack's chest, plzkthanks'. :/

LOL, I'd totally keep on slashing them anyway, I haven't slashed Dean/Sam in SPN for ages for anything anyway, but the surprise!incest was surprising. Mostly. Jacob/Richard > the other, though.

I was like o_O too, but I figured I just tried to ignore that. :/
(Deleted comment)
the female ghost of tom joad: lost julietjanie_tangerine on May 12th, 2010 04:27 pm (UTC)
Y'know when in Hearts and Minds they're walking to the jungle, she gets snatched and he finds her dead on the rocks while he hallucinates? Yes, that bit. XD

IT'S MY NEW FAVORITE TOO. :D

Dude, I'm so happy too. Right, watching SPN has pretty much made me immune to most not-het-incest squeaking but still, I'M SO GLAD I DON'T SHIP THEM.
Fangirlage like WHOA.: SPN // S&D - IDFK + o.Ohopelessfangirl on May 14th, 2010 12:43 am (UTC)
I spent forty minutes laughing like a maniac. I swear I did. It was just so.. so... so not intentionally funny that I couldn't freaking help that.

LOL I DID TOO. Especially when the magical light cave showed up. I was literally like, ".....................LOL."

I'm fucking pissed off MIB still has no name. Such a simple question to answer in a JACOB AND MIB-CENTRIC EPISODE, and they couldn't even give us that. Darlton, y'all are wankers.

This, anyway, just backs up my theory: Mark Pellegrino is perfectly aware that they gave him the same part on both shows and he plays it likewise so that we can get confused. 'Cause Jacob's mommy issues = Lucifer's daddy issues much? I mean. Srsly.

Haha, so true. I read an interview with Marksha today where he basically said the same thing, only he pointed out that Lucifer is more blatantly vengeful. ;)

LOL I'M GLAD TO HAVE TIPPED YOU OFF TO CONNECT FOUR MILLION. I was still up when Kimmel came on that night, and that bit totally turned around my sour mood. I had to stifle the lulz at like 2am. XD


MARKSHA, YOU SO CUTE.
the female ghost of tom joad: lost jacobjanie_tangerine on May 17th, 2010 05:28 pm (UTC)
Sorry for answering so late, I had friends over and I totally neglected LJ. :/

THAT SAID, IT WAS SO LOL-WORTHY. Which is not a good thing in retrospective but whatever. ;)

Such a simple question to answer in a JACOB AND MIB-CENTRIC EPISODE, and they couldn't even give us that. Darlton, y'all are wankers.

THIS. I MEAN, IT ISN'T THAT HARD TO GIVE THE GUY A NAME, RIGHT? Jfc, just DO THAT.

Buahahaha Lucifer is also way crazier but hey, maybe the island in the end > Hell. Though... LOL. Yeah. Now I need to see how it ends with Jacob. If he falls into a hole with MIB I'll lol forever.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THANK YOU!! THAT VIDEO IS SO AWESOME I CAN'T FATHOM IT. IT MADE THE EP SO MUCH BETTER. :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD