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28 July 2010 @ 03:59 pm
fic, Lost: Long Walk Home (Jin, Jin/Sun), PG, for tellshannon815 + isis2015  
This is always me catching up.

Title: long walk home
Rating: PG
Warnings: implied canon character death.
Characters/Pairing: Jin, Ji Yeon; Sun/Jin.
Words: 920
Summary: the AU where Jin doesn't die.
Spoilers: er, let's say S6 entirely and cut it there. ;)
Disclaimer: Lost isn't mine. Yes, they never let me buy rights when I try.
A/N: for former queens tellshannon815 and isis2015 who asked for Sun and/or Jin at the lostsquee luau. And who weren't pleased with that certain thing happening in 6x14. Er, this probably doesn't fill the request perfectly because I kept half of that certain thing, but it didn't want to go away and it wanted to be written and it does have Sun/Jin, so.. I hope you both like it anyway. :) Title from Bruce Springsteen.

Go, she said.

No, he answered. I’m not leaving you again.

She could have just smiled and said yes and kissed him, and they could have died there and then, and they’d have been together, at least.

But instead Sun shook her head and told him, you have to meet her. If she can’t have the both of us, then she should have you.

It was a hard decision. Jin didn’t want to come to terms with the idea of losing her forever after having her back for a day or so, but that was a point he couldn’t say no to.

And so he kissed her again, once, and then a second time, before the water’s level became too high, and then he swam out of the room.

Sun was smiling the last time he looked at her, looking at peace, and nodding at him before he finally turned and left.

When he surfaced, he didn’t know how much of the salt he tasted in his mouth was sea and how much of that was tears.

--

Jin buys a new suit with Richard’s money, before boarding his plane to Korea. Sawyer hugs him for maybe more time than it could be considered proper, Kate and Claire do, too, and everyone else shakes his hand before he has to board. He promises to write and to be in contact, he has numbers and addresses and everything else, but as he boards the plane he can just feel a void inside his stomach. He feels emptied, and scared, and he wants Sun to be on the seat next to him so much that a couple of tears escape from his eyelids. He misses her like he misses a limb, and even if he had talked to her mother before boarding the plane and she was as nice as she could have been, he still can’t shake a dreadful sensation off him.

What if she changes idea? What if she doesn’t let him see his daughter? What if, what if?

When the plane hits the ground, he looks horrible. He hasn’t eaten anything, he’s sweating, he’s feeling nauseous and when he asks which hour he should set his watch on, he realizes that there’s no way he can meet Sun’s parents today.

So he takes a taxi, checks into the hotel he booked for a couple of days and spends the next twelve hours sleeping.

Sun is there in his dreams, and at least they aren’t bad ones. She’s smiling and it’s the day of their wedding, but she’s holding their daughter in her arms anyway, and it lasts a while until he wakes up to realize he had been crying. Because he’ll never have that now, but he can’t let that get to him. Not when he wants to meet Ji Yeon as he rarely wished for something his entire life.

Jin stands up, has a long shower, makes sure he looks presentable, wears his suit and tie and checks the cell phone he got before boarding the plane.

There’s a text from Sawyer saying, good luck. I’ll try mine, too. Jin smiles and text back, to you as well; then he gets out of his room and asks for a cab.

Sun’s mother bites her lip before moving closer and hugging him as soon as he’s in front of her, and for a second Jin feels baffled, but then he hugs her back, tentatively, and he’s happy that at least this went well. After all, Mr. Paik was the one he feared most, and he isn’t here now. Mrs. Paik hands him a letter Sun left. On the envelope, it reads, open this if I don’t come back.

Inside, there’s a thorough explanation of what really happened.

Jin feels his throat close when Mrs. Paik asks him if he wants to see Ji Yeon now, and he nods and follows her on the upper floor.

“The second room,” she tells him. “And… Sun showed her your pictures,” she adds, and then she leaves. Jin swallows and opens the door, his hand shaking, and when he does, yes, she’s right there in front of him. She’s wearing a blue dress and she’s playing with a couple of dolls, her hair is black and thick and long as Sun’s was, and then she looks up at him. Then she squints, like she knows him and she’s trying to place him, and he can’t believe he missed three years of her life.

And then she calls him dad, with a tiny voice, but it’s also sure. It’s not a question. It’s clear that she knows. It’s clear that Sun showed her enough pictures.

He can’t see straight anymore and so he runs to her and takes her in his arms, saying yes, and for the first time since Sun disappeared trapped by water, he’s glad he is alive. She feels perfect against him, crooked into his arms, her head against his neck; she smells clean and her tiny, fragile hands are there on Jin’s cheeks as she raises her head to look at him better. Jin thinks he might be crying. She isn’t, but how could she know why?

He cradles her against him, feeling as whole as he’ll ever feel in this life, and he thinks of asking Mrs. Paik whether he could take his daughter on a small trip to meet her other grandfather.

And meanwhile he thinks about Sun and swears to himself that he’ll do the best he can.

End.
 
 
feeling: workingworking
on rotation: long walk home - bruce springsteen
 
 
 
Creature Of Hobbit: sun and moon lyricstellshannon815 on July 28th, 2010 09:08 pm (UTC)
Love this! While I would never have been happy with any ending other than them leaving the island together, this is a great moment where Jin meets Ji Yeon. Stupid What's-his-face Bastard and his bomb.

Thanks for writing this!
the female ghost of tom joad: lost jinjanie_tangerine on July 29th, 2010 10:12 am (UTC)
Ee, thank you! :D I'm really glad that you liked it. And yeah, sorry for still killing Sun but for some reason this decided to go the other way. *kicks muse* Thank you again though! :D And yeah, what's-his-face = IDIOT. *glares*
Alaohioala19 on August 1st, 2010 03:02 pm (UTC)
wow, this was so fantastic and exactly how it should have gone, i loved it to pieces!
the female ghost of tom joad: lost jinjanie_tangerine on August 2nd, 2010 10:08 pm (UTC)
Aw, thank you! :D I'm so glad that you liked it. And I'd have totally been happier if it had gone like this. :/
lover all alone: Lost: Jack & Vincent finaleinvisiblelove on August 2nd, 2010 04:29 am (UTC)
;___________________; Aww this was so lovely. I totally understand how they had things in the show, but there was definitely a part of me that wanted Jin to save himself and go find his daughter. You did a wonderful job exploring that. Beautiful <3
the female ghost of tom joad: lost boone omg the smiiileee <33janie_tangerine on August 2nd, 2010 10:09 pm (UTC)
*hands tissue* Thank you so much! :D I'm so glad that you liked it this much. And yeah, why I do see their point I still would've liked it better if Jin had tried to get out of there. ;_______; anyway, thanks again!
Fangirlage like WHOA.: LOST // C&C + J&S - Followhopelessfangirl on August 9th, 2010 05:33 pm (UTC)
Not even gonna lie, you made me tear up when Ji Yeon looked at Jin. It might have hurt even more than it already did in canon to see Jin leave Sun behind, but if that had happened, I would have wanted everything to play out this way. ♥

It's so subtle, but one of the things I loved most about this was Sawyer hugging Jin for too long when parting ways. It was like a follow-up to little shot of Sawyer looking heartbroken when Sun and Jin reuinted on the show where you knew he was thinking of Juliet.

This is beautiful, dearie!
the female ghost of tom joad: lost sawyer julietjanie_tangerine on August 9th, 2010 06:26 pm (UTC)
Awww, thank you so very much! :D I'm so glad that you liked it this much, though I'll have to hand you a tissue now. *hands* <3 and tbh I kind of really would have rather wanted Jin to meet her daughter even if Sun had died, so that's probably why I just went with this instead of not killing her too. Poor girl. ;) <3

And ha, I was aiming for that really when I did the whole Sawyer/Jin hug thing, so I'm really glad it worked for you. Thanks again!! :D