This = my fic for scifibigbang. [And I'm sort of using it also for another table. *cough*]

Title: Devil's Arcade
Art: totally awesome art by divka
Pairings: Desmond/Sayid (main), Jack/Sawyer, Boone/Charlie (both sort non-explicit but there); most canon (male) characters appear. Sawyer/Kate and Desmond/Penny are sort of referred to, but they're both backstory.
Word Count: 32800
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: The rating is not only for a sex scene, but I went for it mostly because since it's a war fic it gets very violent, there's some gore, a full battle description, probably touchy/triggering subjects and everything that goes with the setting. (Though it's not a death fic.)
Summary: WWII AU; Desmond and Sayid (plus Charlie and Sawyer) are British soldiers at El Alamein. This follows them and others (Jack, plus Boone) in their unit from 1942 until 1945 (and sort of later, too).
A/N: first of all, endless thanks to elliotsmelliot who did an awesome beta-ing job for this in a very short time and whose help was just priceless beyond any possible description. Thank you so much again for it. And to divka who did the awesome art and who had to stand my complete and utter failure-ness with PMs. Also, this is the result of brainstorming over one fic idea for a year and a half. I just hope it did end up being a good effort. ;) Also, title stolen from Springsteen. Yes, I know you were all totally NOT expecting it.

Prologues [England, Iraq]; Part I [El Alamein - first]; Part II [El Alamein - second]; Interlude I [Tunisia]; Part III [Italy - Sicily]; Interlude II [Italy]; Part IV [Italy - Cassino]; Part V [Italy - Rome]; Part VI [Italy - Rome and Reggio Emilia]; Epilogues [Paris and New York]; Notes and references and research post; art by divka

Title: How Castiel Got Lost In LOST (or, how an angel of the Lord faced the Smoke Monster, among the rest)
Rating: PG13
Characters: Castiel, Dean and Sam for SPN; Sayid, Sawyer, Smokey, Jacob and a few guest stars for Lost
Words: 3333 (really.)
Summary: the Trickster sends Castiel on the island. Chaos ensues.
Spoilers: heavy for 5x08 for SPN; set in late S2 for Lost, but there's a character from the S5 finale.
Disclaimer: SPN is not mine and Lost is not mine either. Why, you had any doubts?
A/N: this is crack on a stick. More or less. And I can blame at least three or four people from my FL who totally didn't try to dissuade me from writing this. Anyway, a couple of other shows are mentioned in passing. And... just, alright, I have no excuses except for SPN handing me this on a silver plate and Lost being crazy stuff.

( When Castiel realizes that he’s on what looks like a tropical island or a jungle, he blinks. Then when nothing changes, he blinks again. )

Re-posting from the lostsquee '09 ficlet challenge.

Title: Pain d'epiches
Rating: PG
Characters: Sayid (implied Sayid/Nadia), Penny
Words: 692
Summary: Gingerbread was Nadia's favorite.
Spoilers: general until S5.
Disclaimer: not mine, not mine.
A/N: written for the prompts gingerbread and repulse. Probably because Sayid was the only one I could see capable of baking gingerbread properly and then it happened.

( He used to bake her cookies each week. )

Title: Faults
Rating: PG
Characters: Michael (as Kevin Johnson)
Words: 525
Summary: See, the problem is that if Michael ever had a flaw (fine; he has more than one, but let's say his worst flaw), it's that he loses temper.
Spoilers: general S4. I guess until 4x08.
Disclaimer: not mine, not mine.
A/N: written for the prompts irritable and delude. Using it for chem15try #4, thermodynamics, since at this point he was on the freighter too. ;)

( Fine, maybe cabin man is the perfect way to blend in, but it still sucks. )

Apologizes in advance for the spamming. I have two ficlets for that meme and probably something else later when I'm done with Medieval Philosophy class.

Title: Your Ex-Lover Is Dead
Rating: R
Pairing: Desmond/Sayid (implied Desmond/Penny)
Words: 1694
Summary: Sayid still looks at him, his stare meaning nothing and everything; Desmond doesn’t know what he should do, maybe say strange to see you again, maybe let him go, but he doesn’t want to.
Spoilers: goes AU from 5x06, 316.
Disclaimer: haaa, no, not mine. Yeah, really.
A/N: for tellshannon815 who wanted wish for the alphabet meme and lostpicksix 13, chance encounter. I do realize that if this happened then everything that happened in S5 would be fucked up, but that's exactly why, frankly, I don't give a damn. Title stolen from Stars and yes, everything but a ficlet. *cough*

( What Desmond still feels as he makes his way back to the docks, is rage. )

Title: The Last Two Hours
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Jack/Sayid
Words: 1069
Spoilers: heavy for 5x15, Follow The Leader.
Summary: Jack doesn’t really know why he’s doing this and if he isn’t getting everything wrong, but hell, it’s the last two hours of their lives. Right?
Disclaimer: not mine, this'd happen in the finale.
A/N: For jaydblu who asked relief on the infamous alphabet meme. Also, I wanted to write Jack/Sayid after last episode so I jumped on it.

( There’s something relieving about Sayid’s mere presence; Jack can’t exactly put it into words but it feels good to have him on his side even with everything that passed in between. )

Other bunch for the alphabet meme. I swear I'll post something else, too. Anyway still nine letters if someone wants to grab a late prompt.

Title: Oxycontin Blues
Rating: PG13 because it's Nirvana!Jack
Characters: Jack
Words: 443
Summary: Jack's idea of a perfect evening, when it comes into practice, is usually spent on his mattress in his living room, with a bottle of cheap brandy on his right side, a flacon of Oxycontin on his left and Kurt Cobain for company.
Spoilers: set ideally a bit before the S3 finale flashforward.
Disclaimer: Lost is indeed not mine. There would have been more O6!Jack in his downward spiral if it was.
A/N: for emiliglia who wanted Jack and oxycontin. Title stolen from Steve Earle but the music within is all Nirvana references because I love my Nirvana!Jack so.

( Jack doesn’t know when his perfect evening became an equation made of the fragile balance of five or so elements. )

Title: Devils And Dust
Rating: PG I guess
Characters: Sayid
Words: 610
Summary: Sayid never felt more aware of every wrong choice he made his whole life; the time he spent trying to be a decent person or a good man or at least not someone who harms innocent people looks like a pitiful loss of time.
Spoilers: for 5x10, He's Our You.
Disclaimer: God, no, not mine. I'd be richer.
A/N: for zelda_zee who wanted Sayid and innocence. Title stolen from a Springsteen song which probably has its influence.

( He wonders what he would see into his eyes if he had a mirror. )

Title: Lessons
Rating: PG
Characters: Juliet
Words: 661
Summary: See, the thing is that Juliet is nobody’s fool when it comes to other people trying either to make a fool out of her or fool her into doing something. Or at least, after being burned more than once, she doesn't think she be tricked anymore.
Spoilers: until 3x05.
Disclaimer: Lost is not mine, what news.
A/N: for missy_useless who wanted Juliet and fool. This is probably weird, but it wanted to be like this. Terrible title but it happens when I don't find any song to steal it from.

( Everything she does since she sets foot in the room where they keep Shephard with a tray in her hands is pretending because she’s going along with Ben’s plan, but she knows better. )

So, this isn't exactly what I had hoped to finish but hey, I did finish one. Maybe now I'll also finish the others.

Title: On Two Different Sides
Rating: PG13
Characters: dead!Boone, the Oceanic 6 (there's some kinda Jack/Boone thrown in the end)
Words: 700
Summary: He wishes Sun hadn’t been there; he wishes he could do something; he wishes Aaron wasn't born when he was born; he wishes he understood her; he wishes he could resent Sayid; he wishes he had died when the beechcraft fell.
Spoilers: nothing beyond the S4 flashforwards.
Disclaimer: Lost is not mine. Boone wouldn't be dead *rolls eyes*.
A/N: for un_love_you #17, wish I didn't love you. The first five sections are drabbles, the last is 200 words because I just couldn't be brief. I don't have an idea of where it came from but hey, it was cooperating, I went with it. Nothing of the happy sort.

( It doesn’t exactly hurt, not anymore, but still, he wishes he could do something. And he can’t, just like he never could when he was alive. )

Title: I've Been Everywhere 11/14
Rating: PG-13, will reach NC17 overall
Characters for this part: Sawyer, Jack, Sayid
Word counting: 4124 this part, 50000 ca overall.
Disclaimer: Lost is not mine and all the folk songs used here are not mine. The places really exist and I've never been there.
Summary: Sawyer is a rambling musician during the Dust Bowl, Jack a former doctor from L.A. traveling with him.
Thanks to: elliotsmelliot for the great beta job for which I can't be grateful enough and to fosfomifira for the title. I'd still be searching for one otherwise.
A/N: Sawyer's quote about folk music being basically stealing was half stolen from a Pete Seeger interview but I figured he'd know best. The song of the title of the chapter and the one referenced at the beginning is Philadelphia Lawyer by Woody Guthrie. Also, I didn't come up with the way to cheat at roulette Jack uses here, it's all on Wikipedia.

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XII, Part XIII, Part XIV

( Firstly, I find that you can actually play the piano and then I find out that you’re also a professional gambler? What’ll be the next, that you won the Nobel prize for literature? )

Title: Nothing Left To Lose
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Desmond/Sayid
Word counting: 515
Disclaimer: not mine, it'd happen.
Summary: He lets Sayid do anything he wants because it's not like it even matters anymore.
A/N: written for the prompt up against the wall; using for lostpicksix #20, noncon even if this is actually more do-whatever-you-want-with-me-con. But it's as close as I'll come to it so I might use it as well. Warning: it's angsty and also kind of not exactly nice.

( He doesn't know when Sayid's eyes stopped being a dead man's eyes and became something else as they stood there. )

Title: It's Regret For The Things We Didn't Do That's Inconsolable
Rating: Pg13
Pairing: Desmond/Sayid
Word counting: 470
Disclaimer: not mine, it'd happen.
Summary: Regrets eat you alive.
A/N: written for the prompt regret; using for lostpicksix #29, lies.

( Sayid doesn’t know why he tells Desmond that maybe it’d be nice to have a talk in his cabin. Just because. )

Title: What Is and What Shouldn't Be
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Desmond/Sayid
Word counting: 1087
Disclaimer: not mine, it'd happen.
Summary: Sayid is aware of Desmond slowly undressing him, taking off every item slowly and carefully; he’s aware of cold fingers trailing across his chest, over his hips, across his legs, feathery touches that are amplified by his lack of vision and which are making him tremble and shiver all over, unable to help it.
A/N: written for the prompt blindfold; using for lostpicksix #35, fetish.

( If Sayid opens his eyes, the world is made of soft, luxurious dark violet satin. If he closes them, it’s just dark. )

God, why, why can't I write comment length stuff? But this kinda wanted to be written and since I have this feeling that tomorrow's episode will absolutely ditch the premise I wanted to have it posted before.

Title: We Three
Rating: hard R
Characters/Pairing: Desmond/Penny/Sayid in any possible combination
Word counting: 2246
Disclaimer: if Lost was mine... why. What the hell. This'd be canon.
Spoilers: for the S5 premiere.
Summary: Yes, Penny thinks, it’s insane.
A/N: written for the battle at lostsquee for the prompt stars. Using for lostpicksix #34, femslash, because erm, how am I supposed to write femslash with a m/m pairing otherwise? Title stolen from Patti Smith. Also, wandersfound? I don't remember if it was you with whom I was discussing an eventual Des/Pen/Sayid threesome ages ago but since I think you might not be adverse this is your surprise for that meme? ;)

( Sayid turned in order to get out, but then Desmond had said 'don’t' and Penny hadn’t exactly been surprised. )

Forgive me the heavy load of stuff here but I swear it's all short stuff. And I guess it'll be the last post before I go so Merry Christmas meanwhile. ;)

Non Lost:

Title: Unchanging (Heroes/Supernatural crossover)
Pairing: John Winchester/Adam Monroe
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: Pff. Seriously. If Heroes was mine it'd be a way better show. And if SPN was mine JDM would appear as the monthly angel or something.
Word count: 517
Spoilers: the pilot for SPN and... well, if you know who Adam is, you're good.
Summary: His name was Adam and even if he had always considered their... well, their business either one of those crushes that comes one day and is gone the other or a way to avoid going definitely mad in that hell on earth, John had always remembered him clearly.
A/N: for toestastegood who 'forced' me on the meme down here.

( It’s not like he’s having a drink with a total stranger because the man is not a total stranger. )

Title: Brokeback
Pairing: faaaaaint Tim/Jason
Rating: PG?
Disclaimer: Friday Night Lights is not mine. Especially because if it was they wouldn't have done what they did and I'd be watching it regularly, not trying to gather the courage to catch up.
Word count: 386
Spoilers: the Brokeback episode. ;)
Summary: He isn’t sure the position means anything but that handful of words does, it does so much, especially after all that happened what seems ages ago and what happened just now.
A/N: for lasamy who 'forced' me on the meme down here. ♥ First time I write FNL ever. God. Go me.

( Well, yeah, might be so Brokeback but he wouldn’t ever renounce this. )

Lost:

Title: Disadvantages Occurring When You Start Naming Too Many Stars
Characters: Karl, who's having sort of a bit of a crush on Sawyer.
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: Lost is nooot mine. Canon wouldn't have happened.
Word count: 517
Spoilers: If Lost was mine, what Did Not Happen wouldn't have happened.
Summary: Karl is also sure he looks like an idiot whenever he’s around him. The worst thing is that Alex kind of joked about it once and said he didn’t have bad taste.
A/N: For bachlava who did asked for one of the sane family in another meme. by the way, what Did Not Happen Does Not Happen after this. ;) the title is mine for once. Shows because it's horrible.

( Okay, so, Karl doesn’t have an idea of what is happening. Not-at-all. )

Title: The Man In Black Fled Across The Desert
Characters: Sawyer
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Lost is not mine, The Dark Tower isn't either.
Word count: 319
Spoilers: ppf, nothing? Well, the first two lines of the first Dark Tower book aren't a spoiler. I hope.
Summary: Sawyer doesn’t like Stephen King. Correction: Sawyer hates Stephen King.
A/N: for thespiansparkle who asked for a drabble too and gets this because I thought it was a good idea.

( He thinks that maybe he should check the plot on the back cover. But then again, why? That’d be no surprise, right? )

Title: Whirl Away
Pairing: Desmond/Sayid
Rating: light NC17
Disclaimer: This is me being hopeful. Of course Lost isn't mine.
Word count: 647
Spoilers: S4 finale.
Summary: He isn't doing this just because he's so desperate that he'll take any kind of comfort that brings his mind away from the real world, but also because they have been sharing the cabin for a week and Sayid has barely given a sign of acknowledging he's here at all.
A/N: originally for sassynach for that trick and treat fic post. Using for lostpicksix #2, kissing. Title stolen from Patti Smith.

( It happens in a second or something like it. )

Title: Here I Go And I Don't Know Why
Pairing: Boone/Claire
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Ha, Lost is not mine. What news.
Word count: 749
Spoilers: White Rabbit? Is that a spoiler?
Summary: It starts the day when he apologizes to her for the water. He’s really sorry and absolutely ashamed and the way Arzt looks at him when he says he’s sorry surely doesn’t make things easier.
A/N: for lenina20 who 'forced' me on the meme down here. ♥ Using for un_love_you #11, Thought I needed this. Uhm, did I really finally tried the pairing? Title stolen from Patti Smith.

( If there’s one thing Boone Carlyle is incapable of doing, is saying no (especially when you’re a girl, you’re a blonde and with a completely different attitude from his sister’s, but Claire doesn’t know this and it doesn’t matter anyway, since the other thing about Boone Carlyle is that he always does what he does sincerely). )

Title: Revenge Is A Kind of Wild Justice
Pairing: Boone/Shannon
Rating: light R
Disclaimer: It should be clear that Lost isn't mine.
Word count: 580
Spoilers: In Traslation maybe?
Summary: She wants him to hate her because it’s not fair that she needs to hate him and and he just doesn’t get it. She needs someone to have her revenge on and since she won’t ever get any on Sabrina, it’s got to be him. Even if he doesn’t really have much of a fault.
A/N: uhm, this one is for me I guess, because I like myself Boone angst. ;) ;) seriously, I wrote it in class, has been sitting for a while and since I was having the ficlet dump.. using for un_love_you #16, I want to break you. Title stolen from some Francis Bacon quote. I'm not worthy.

( Then they crash and she realizes that nothing has changed really, because he still loves her anyway like the hopeless moron he is, except that now he’s beyond any repair. )

Oh wow. That was hard. Okay, I'm done. ;)

Well, I needed a break from the Hohoho assignment and I didn't want to lose the inspiration for this one when it hit me.

Title: The Essential Rescue Mission
Characters/Pairing: the blue shirt, Boone, Charlie, Tom with a Desmond and Sayid appearance
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: If this happens on the show I'll pay a dinner for all of my friendslist. Of course not mine.
Word count: 1973
Spoilers: S4 finale.
Summary: the blue shirt has been quietly living in her maple wood closet filled with lavender scent when she receives an unexpected visit.
A/N: Second of the Christmas fics, this one for elliotsmelliot who wanted further blue shirt adventures. I had a couple of ideas, then this one hit and it just wouldn't go away. And it's absolute, blatant and pure crack. Hope you like it! ♥

( The truth is that you’ll never know how good a closet feels like until you try it. )

And I finally managed to copy one of the ficlets. Go me really ;)

Title: Shades of Gray
Rating: PG13
Pairing: sort of Desmond/Sayid
Words: 1250
Summary: He had his certainty, that there wasn’t anything outside black or white; now Desmond is trying to take it away from him and he can’t have it. Not really. He can’t afford to think in shades of gray just right now.
Spoilers: up to the S4 finale.
Disclaimer: not mine. Woah, that's some news.
A/N: for lostpicksix, holding hands, and lostfichallenge, light and dark. I fear it's not a very original interpretation of the theme but that's as good as I could get. No plot whatsoever really, but who needs plot?

( Sayid has known for a while that he really isn’t a good man. Not anymore, at least. )

Title: Return of the Grievous Angel
Rating: R
Pairing: Sawyer/Sayid
Word Count: 3400
Disclaimer: Sure, because if Lost was mine everyone would grow wings.
Summary: What’s more astonishing isn’t the fact that Sawyer actually grew wings. It’s that Sayid is the only one that can touch them.
Spoilers: Set in mid-late S1, more or less around Numbers or In Translation; goes AU from there because it implies that Sayid and Shannon never hooked up and that the raft was never built.
A/N: for Queen zelda_zee at lostsquee, who had wingfic listed among the requests. I kind of planned for this to be angsty but well, it really isn't. I had also planned for this to actually be rated higher than R but alas, not cooperating on that front. But I hope it pleases Her Majesty nonetheless! The title is stolen from a Gram Parsons song just because it's been on repeat for two days while I fought with this and because I love how it sounds.

( Perhaps, he thinks, it’s because with every unusual thing that has happened since they crashed, wings growing overnight out of someone’s back is just the last on the Very Unusual Things That Happen Everyday on Craphole Island catalog as Charlie would call it. )

And since I'm alone again (even if it was a great time I had), catching up for the luau shall begin. -nods-

Title: Breaking Into Society
Rating: light NC17 I presume
Pairing: Sawyer/Sayid
Word Count: 2380
Disclaimer: Lost isn't mine and the movie I stole the inspiration from was John Ford's.
Summary: Sawyer and Sayid meet in New Mexico before the crash.
Spoilers: General for both characters, but since it's set pre-crash just after Sawyer gets out of prison, no spoilers really.
A/N: for Queen fosfomifira, who asked for visual inspiration and said that also a scene from a movie would have been fine. This is a veeery free reworking of the lunch scene in Stagecoach with some other quotes from that movie thrown in. I'd have linked the scene but YouTube doesn't have it. And since the Queen wasn't going to object to Sawyer/Sayid I tried that ;)

( The counter isn’t long and the bar is quite full. )

Title: Meet Me at the Wrecking Ball
Rating: R *cough*
Pairing: Kate/Sayid
Words: 2600
Summary: Kate has to wonder for a second about how funny is this; his suit, hair and smile are just as fake as her elegant silk dress, nice combing and smile are and as their dinner in a five star restaurant will be.
Spoilers: up to the S4 finale.
Disclaimer: well, not mine and I don't think this would have happened if I wrote it but... ;)
A/N: for Queen aboutbunnies at lostsquee, who had Kate/Sayid among the requests. Now, that wouldn't be my first pairing of choice and this would be the first time I try it (and of course from Kate's POV since I'm a total masochist), so uhm, I'll take the rotten tomatoes and please go easy on me *lays at Queen's feet*. Also, even if the rest sucks, there's some suit!Sayid, which I hope will make up for any wrong I might do here. Title stolen from a line in a Emmylou Harris song.

( The hotel in Fiji is a five star one and Kate doesn’t doubt that Ben saw it as some particularly sharp kind of irony. )

Thank Jacob for catch-up days. I might try to catch up with the only other Queen I missed today, if I get the inspiration.

Title: In Repair
Rating: PG13 to be sure
Pairing: very platonic Desmond/Sayid
Words: 2400
Summary: He doesn’t wait for permission and sits next to Sayid on the couch, placing the ice cream bowl in front of him on the small table; he almost wants to laugh when Sayid turns his head and looks at him with a completely surprised expression that Desmond didn’t even think him capable of doing. Sayid didn’t seem one that could get surprised by many things, after all.
Spoilers: up to the S4 finale.
Disclaimer: ha, not mine. I doubt it'll end so well for both of them.
A/N: queen astra2104 at lostsquee asked for ice, for which I tried like, three different plots but wouldn't work. Then I had the idea and it wanted to be for my second closeted OTP, which I hope the Queen will enjoy nonetheless ;) using for lostpicksix #22, domestic bliss, even if it's a very twisted domestic bliss. Title stolen from John Mayer and I swear it took more to find it than to write the whole thing.

( Desmond still is kind of surprised that Sayid has accepted to go and stay with him for at least that month when he asked, after they were back from the island for good. )

This thing makes me so nervous. So really nervous.

Title: Rear Window
Pairing: Desmond/Sayid
Rating: light NC17 I guess, or very hard R
Disclaimer: well, if this ever happened on that show it means that I'd write for it. Which is not the case.
Word count: 1200
Spoilers: General S4 and maybe for Eggtown specifically, but as long as you've seen Ji Yeon you're safe.
Summary: The visions in the Further Instructions airport are usually showing reality, right?
A/N: using for lostpicksix #14, voyeur. Now, this thing is all elliotsmelliot's fault ♥. She got the image into my head and I couldn't shake it away. And it wanted to be sort of smut so it is. Not that I feel comfortable at sex without plot still, but well, it should be at least decent. I hope. I wanted to call it Even Further Instructions at first but then I settled for having Hitchcock and James Stewart killing me again in the afterlife. And now I guess it won't haunt my dreams anymore ;)

( He sees them first when they appear on the top of the escalator, slowly making their way down. )

Well, it was the only one missing, so I just ignored my canon issues and went with it.

Title: As I Sat by Her Side
Rating: PG
Pairing: Shannon/Sayid
Word Count: 550
Disclaimer: No, not mine. So not mine.
Summary: Sayid doesn’t know why he’s so sure that the bracelet, half buried in white sand, was Boone’s.
Spoilers: Set after Orientation, but anyway up until Exodus I guess.
A/N: for 5_loves #4, jewel. And I'm done with it. Clearly since it concerns Shannon someone else had to be in the mix, even if he sort of isn't. I actually had a whole lot of other plans for this one, but the current canon completely ditched them and I had to invent something else. Oh well, I hope it's not too far out. The title is sort of stolen from a Nick Cave song completely out of desperation, but it doesn't have a thing to do with this.

( Shannon gasps when Sayid’s fingers, closed in a fist when he sat next to her in front of the cave she’s staying in at the moment, unclench slowly and he lays the bracelet on the ground, between them. )

Because clearly writing Sawyer/Sayid in the breaks from Kant is a good idea, isn't it? *sigh* Anyway, I'm posting this now just out of superstition. Because I'm not usually a superstitious one, hell no, but I realized the other day that previous term, I had posted fic the day before or just immediately before the exam in the ones I got my best marks, so well, what should I say? *sighs and crosses fingers* *gets her head back on Kant* *sighs again*

Title: Night Vision
Rating: R
Pairing: Sawyer/Sayid
Word Count: around 4840
Disclaimer: well, not mine? Yes?
Summary: The important thing is that Sawyer always says that he’s doing alright, really doing alright, and that he shouldn’t be ashamed of it. Sayid still wants to think he isn’t real and that everything he says is what his subconscious needs to hear. Admitting that what Sawyer does is what his subconscious wants is a whole lot more difficult.
Spoilers: Uhm, general S4? At least up until 4x09.
A/N: All the places hereby mentioned except the island exist and have been visited by yours truly (the hotel in Paris is one where I stayed for two days or so) and all the places in Rome hereby mentioned exist and are some of yours truly's favorites to hang out. The bookshop and the coffee shop especially. The fair in Seville I was referring to is this one. The absinthe thing is also true but I don't like it much. Beware that I had the idea listening to Neil Young's Heart of Gold for how impossible it might seem, which says a lot about my brain's state. For 5_loves #2, skin. Title stolen from Suzanne Vega because she sort of became my studying soundtrack and I steal. Nominated for Best Slash Fic at lost_fic_awards, June 2008.



( Why it’s Sawyer becomes a meaningless question; it’s him and knowing why wouldn’t really add anything or be of some help. Not at all. )