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09 October 2008 @ 07:13 pm
fic, Lost: There's a Distance I Can't Close (Boone/Nicole), for un_love_you  
Well, this is weird. Really weird. But I have been wanting to try this thing for a while and yesterday I was at university an hour before needed, so why not? If you know who is my POV without looking at Lostpedia first you earn a cookie ;)

Title: There's a Distance I Can't Close
Rating: PG13
Characters/Pairing: Boone/Nicole
Word counting: 1345
Disclaimer: Lost is not mine, what news.
Spoilers: barely for Hearts and Minds, aka no spoilers.
Summary: From then on, Nicole had known that even if he tried his hardest to convince himself otherwise, Boone didn’t really need her; he wanted to need her, so badly that she couldn’t bring herself to call everything off.
A/N: for un_love_you #6, I want to need you. And I do realize that the girl had, like, a line in all of the show's history and the writers probably forgot she even existed but hey, she had a line and she threw him one look that said a lot of things. Why, yes, I've seen that episode too many times. Title stolen from a Nils Lofgren song for the usual reasons.

Blue eyes and pink, soft lips slightly parted in a smile while he embraces a tall, blond girl whom Nicole has met just once or maybe twice, flash on her TV screen; Boone Carlyle and Shannon Rutherford, 22 and 20, deceased in the Oceanic 815’s crash appears under their still faces in shiny, bright colors and for a second Nicole feels the coffee she’s drinking raise all the way up to her throat. Then she swallows it down again, a disgusting taste left in her mouth; the picture disappears and Boone’s mother sits on a sofa near the talk show’s host. There are four other women near her, all mothers of people who died with Boone and Shannon; if she remembers right, one is some Jack Shephard’s mother, one some Hugo Reyes’, another of one Ana Lucia of which she can’t remember the name and she hasn’t heard the name of the fourth.

Boone’s mother is the only one wearing make-up; Nicole takes the remote control and pushes the mute button.

She takes a couple of breaths. Nothing she hadn’t known. Well, right, she hadn’t known he would have died so young in a plane crash, but she had known he would have died with Shannon.

She isn’t angry at him or anything. Not really. She just had known it and made her peace with it two days after he asked her out for the first time and Shannon had called him during their second date.

Another person would have left him right at that point; but she hadn’t. Mainly because he didn’t really do it on purpose and he was just so nice.

They met when he organized her sister’s wedding; then they had met again at some march she had gone to, she thinks it was something for women’s rights, and he had asked her out for the next day.

She had just left her boyfriend of three years for reasons that could be summed up saying that he had become too much of an high class jerk and she hadn’t wanted anything serious. Boone had told her he was in a similar situation and didn’t wish for anything serious, either. Which was fine by Nicole, just absolutely fine. So, she had gone. After all, he was so nice to her, he had a lovely smile and he was surely the prettiest guy that had ever asked her out; why not?

Then Shannon had called for the first time.

Nicole met her three or four days later when she and Boone were back from someplace she can’t remember right now, she thinks Canada, and it took her five minutes to understand with whom his heart truly was. They acted differently, sure, but they acted and one should have had blind eyes not to see it.

But she hadn’t said anything; just smiled, shook Shannon’s hand and then Boone had brought her out to dinner and Shannon had stayed at home.

From then on, Nicole had known that even if he tried his hardest to convince himself otherwise, Boone didn’t really need her; he wanted to need her, so badly that she couldn’t bring herself to call everything off.

Because apart from the really, really small problem consisting in the fact that he was hopelessly in love with his stepsister, there wasn’t really anything she could blame him for.

He always let her decide where to go or one movie to see; he was a spectacular kisser and one hell of a bed partner if she can say it straight. He was the only person she knew who had what she’d have called a civil conscience and that donated blood like she did; once they even went together. And well, she liked him, and he liked her even if he didn’t love her, but it wasn’t exactly like she loved him in the pretty strict romantic sense of the word. So she had just chosen to nod and shrug whenever Shannon called him and pretended not to have a problem when he apologized to her once they were back from wherever he had fetched her.

While she might have had a problem, she also knew that he was genuinely sorry. He didn’t do it on purpose and surely without any bad intention. Nicole couldn’t really blame him for trying to make it work even if it was obvious how much he was in denial regarding his feelings towards Shannon. And since she and Boone were never really that serious, Nicole just put up with it. It was a small price to pay, after all.

She pushes the volume control button on the remote, raising it up; Boone’s mother, whom she met maybe three or four times and had never really liked, is blathering about wanting to sue Oceanic and when she’s asked how come Boone and Shannon were on that plane, she sighs and says it was probably the girl’s fault, she always was so problematic, nothing like her son, and the other people near her look way more devastated than she does. The Reyes woman is crying, the Shephard, or at least Nicole thinks it’s her, puts a hand on her shoulder slightly squeezing it, her face just blank. Nicole can’t help feeling a bit sympathetic towards Shannon right now.

Nicole sips a bit of her coffee, which is cold by now and tastes disgusting. Sometimes, when he stayed over at her apartment, Boone was the one doing the coffee. It tasted way better than hers ever did or ever will taste and as she realizes she won’t ever drink it again, she feels sick.

She pushes the mute button again, hoping for that picture to show back on screen, but then a handsome man in his late thirties or early forties, a serious expression, dressed in a smart black suit, his hand around the hip of a young, blond bride appears. The same bright, shiny letters flash Jack Shephard, 37, deceased in the Oceanic 815’s crash.

Nicole stands up, pushing her hair out of her forehead and tying them up (he always told her she looked prettier when she let them hang loose); then she dumps the rest of her coffee in the sink and as she leans against the counter, she feels a single tear roll silently down her cheek. She lets it be.

Maybe it wasn’t serious and he didn’t really need her, had never really needed for how much he wanted to; it doesn’t change anything. She thinks she’s understanding just now that maybe she had stuck around because it was a little bit serious; maybe because she had thought that if she stuck around one day he wouldn’t have needed to want her but he would have wanted her alright. She had wondered if it could happen once or twice; now she figures she won’t ever know.

She steps away from the counter, realizing that they never took a picture together; they had been together one month and a half and had never gone some place where it was worth to have your picture taken. She figures that his mother won’t ever give her one, if she asks for it.

She picks up a magazine that her sister left her here yesterday, she had come completely shocked telling her that the guy who organized her wedding had died in the crash; Nicole slowly turns the pages until she finds one where that picture of him and Shannon she had seen on TV takes the whole bottom half.

She rips the page away, then finds a pair of scissors. Nicole cuts the other pic from the upper half, then watches what’s left, then she figures that Shannon wouldn’t have minded much, from what she had seen, and cuts her from the picture, too. What remains is Boone minus his right arm, which was hooked around Shannon’s shoulders.

Nicole throws the rest of the magazine in the trashcan, folds carefully the picture in half and puts it in a drawer of her nightstand. She can’t really do much more now.


feeling: workingworking
on rotation: jammin' - bob marley
Stephanie: LOST. Shoone; in your gripslybrunette on October 9th, 2008 09:08 pm (UTC)
I always love outsider POV's, and what's even better about this is it isn't some random OC. She exists in the Lost universe, if briefly, and here you've gone, created a sympathetic character, and then did a brillant job of giving some more background, more depth, to Boone and Shannon and their messed up relationship.

This is fantastic hun! Great work!
the female ghost of tom joad: lost boone/shannonjanie_tangerine on October 9th, 2008 09:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, I'm really glad that you liked it and gave it a shot ;) I love myself the outsider's POV and don't mind your regular well-written OC, but I always had sort of an odd interest for Nicole (well, she was Boone backstory after all and I wouldn't have minded more of it) and thought she could be a good POV to go for. Thanks again! ♥
(Deleted comment)
the female ghost of tom joad: lost boone/shannonjanie_tangerine on October 9th, 2008 09:45 pm (UTC)
Woah, you are just too good to me. And go you for knowing who she was, I'll get you a fish biscuit instead of the cookie ;)

And I'm really, really go glad you liked this and I totally was smiling reading this because you said exactly what I was wanting to show here. I'm sure he would have been the perfect boyfriend even if fucked up as he was and yeah, he was all of that IMHO.

Sabrina makes me want to strangle her and just thinking about her makes me feel for Shannon really, and yeah, that was it. I just wanted the picture cutting scene to have that feeling. And well, I figured that she wouldn't have really resented him, one really couldn't when the intentions were good ;)

Thanks so much again, this comment will definitely make my night. ♥ ♥
elliotsmelliot: Booneelliotsmelliot on October 10th, 2008 03:40 am (UTC)
What a neat idea! Even though Nicole is a real character she is nothing more than a face and a name (and a woman of excellent taste). You gave her a character and persona that was worthy of Boone. You could almost have seen it working out, had he not been so distracted. I loved the idea of the talk show of angry moms. I pity the host having to deal with Margo and Sabrina. Hopefully the more level headed Mrs. Cortez kept this from getting out of control.
the female ghost of tom joad: lost constantjanie_tangerine on October 10th, 2008 07:36 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! Yeah, the fact that she does indeed have excellent taste was what had me brainstorming on her in the first place and since from what I gathered (and from an interview with the actress I read someplace) it was suggested that she was aware of his family issues I thought I could go for it. And in the end I was sort of thinking she might have been really good for him, but that's getting carried off I guess ;)

The angry moms talkshow is something that sadly airs here more often than not and yeah, poor host indeed! And I guess that Mrs. Cortez ended up arresting everyone at one point.
Shona: lost - Shannon (abandonned)toestastegood on October 10th, 2008 07:39 am (UTC)
-gives you a gold star- What an awesome character to choose to write about! And, yep, I had to go to the wiki to see who she was.

She managed to flesh her out so well. Taking a character who had one line throughout the entire show and making her seem so real is such an achievement. It makes me wonder what it would have been like if we'd been able to get more focus on her through one of Boone's flashbacks before he died.

The idea of them donating blood together was cruelly ironic! I bet Nicole would've known her blood type if she was on the island (man, that would've been cool - if Nicole had come with Boone when he was going to 'rescue' Shannon and ended up on the same flight as them. Wacky love triangles ahoy!)

As she realizes she won’t ever drink it again, she feels sick. This was such a sad line. It's stuff like that that makes it really hit home to you about a loss. Everyone knows to expect the big things when someone dies: it's the little things that you never really paid attention to that hit you out of nowhere.

And, yeah, I may have surpressed a sad giggle that the photo they use of Jack is of him with Sarah!

So sad that she didn't even have a photo of Boone to keep for herself! No proof that he was real, that what they had was real.

She had come completely shocked telling her that the guy who organized her wedding had died in the crash - Man, that totally says so much about her relationship with her sister, doesn't it? Just with that one line Nicole's sister seems to share a few self-centred traits with Shannon. Maybe that helps to explain why/how Nicole could understand Boone instead of just being upset by him.

This was a really awesome, unique fic. I've got to love any pairing that it takes a lostpedia entry to explain! ;)
the female ghost of tom joad: lost shannonjanie_tangerine on October 10th, 2008 05:15 pm (UTC)
It was totally my dream to write one day a fic which needed a link to Lostpedia to explain ;) seriously, thank you so much, I'm really glad you liked it! *takes the gold star eagerly*

I had always wondered how it would be like to write the girl, but I have to say that this went farther than I had previously pictured. Not that I complain since I'm pretty satisfied with out this came out, but writing her came just easy. I'd have loved to have one more flashback and I wouldn't really have minded seeing more of her.

I couldn't resist the donating blood thing, though it really was cruel. I'm sure she would have known her type! And now you make me want to write the triangle indeed ;)

It's stuff like that that makes it really hit home to you about a loss.

Isn't it just? At least that's how it has always felt for me. I thought that if Margo was to give one picture of Jack to the press she would have given a wedding one ;)

seems to share a few self-centred traits with Shannon. Maybe that helps to explain why/how Nicole could understand Boone instead of just being upset by him.

Yeah, having the sister in came later because I didn't have it in program, but that's an angle I considered and thought I could go for it. Thank you so much again, I'm really glad you liked it this much! *smooch* ♥
Lou: Lost - hurley thumb upgottalovev on October 10th, 2008 03:38 pm (UTC)
I got to be honest that I didn't even remember Nicole, but I always love outsider POV. You make her really likable, a no nonsense girl who knew where to stand and didn't mind so much what she knew she could not have.
the female ghost of tom joad: lost hurleyjanie_tangerine on October 10th, 2008 05:16 pm (UTC)
Don't worry about not remembering the girl ;) hey, with all the flashback characters that show has it's perfectly normal, considering that she had barely one line. But it really was fun to write it and I'm glad she worked as a character here. Thanks!
alemyrddin: Jack seatalemyrddin on October 14th, 2008 10:54 am (UTC)
she had known he would have died with Shannon
It must've been so hard for the girls dating Boone, with Shannon's ghost always around! I love your take on Nicole, you made her interesting, and that line about not having taken a picture together was just so sad.
Very well done.
the female ghost of tom joad: lost boone ♥janie_tangerine on October 14th, 2008 11:58 am (UTC)
Thank you! I must admit it was easier than I thought to put myself in her shoes ;), but this was interesting to write and I had quite the fun doing it, so glad it works. And yeah, poor Boone girlfriends indeed! Thanks, glad you liked it!