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28 April 2009 @ 10:27 pm
two supernatural ficlets (both dean/castiel) for the alphabet meme  
Mm. Okay. These are like, one total angst and one total crack. No, I can't do the thing in between.

Title: Absolution
Rating: PG13 I guess
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Words: 1012
Summary: “Bless me, for I have sinned,” he mouths, his voice barely a whisper, as he mirrors Castiel’s position and kneels in front of him, “it’s been… I’ve never confessed before”.
Spoilers: Ideally set after On The Head Of A Pin, even if not really specific spoilers for that one. But it takes that one into account.
Disclaimer: Supernatural is surely not mine and I probably couldn't do it better than they do.
A/N: for wandersfound who wanted Dean/Castiel and atonement. I'm afraid I got carried away. IDK if a confession done like this is complete blasphemy but I mean, you've seen the pairing. *hides* Also, I couldn't manage to check whether Dean said he ever confessed so if in canon they ever said he did... well, let's just pretend he didn't. Or at least, I checked but couldn't find it.

This? This is sick. Could be the sickest thing Dean ever did, and it’s quite the prize. Probably what would be going to buy him a ticket straight to the pit, if only he wasn’t doing this with a freaking angel of the Lord’s approval. But the Apocalypse is near, he doesn’t want and wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else and he will go through with it. It’s not like he has ever done this and will ever do it again anyway. If he’s alive a week from now, that goes unsaid.

“Bless me, for I have sinned,” he mouths, his voice barely a whisper, as he mirrors Castiel’s postion and kneels in front of him, “it’s been… I’ve never confessed before”. No father, it wouldn’t do. His lip trembles, his hands stay still at his sides, the fact that they’re both completely naked making him even more nervous. He raises his head and meets blue eyes staring into his own, and wonders why do they need to do this at all. It’s not like Cas doesn’t know already.

“Go ahead,” Castiel nods, not looking remotely surprised. The voice is rough and soft at the same time, low, almost sounds like a caress; Castiel’s hand rests slightly on Dean’s bare shoulder and Dean shivers. “Start from the beginning.”

“When… when there wasn’t enough money around… sometimes I stole some books for Sam when we were in school. I was thirteen.”

For a second, the grip is tighter.

“Go ahead.”

“I’ve never paid any taxes.”

“That’s hardly a sin when you don’t actually have an income or produce wealth, Dean.”

“Well, yeah, I sustained myself all my life on false credit cards.”

The hand trails a bit until it rests in the crook of his neck and grips there.

“Go ahead.”

“I had sex outside marriage with approximately forty girls. About six were virgins, I think.”

“Do you really think this is something we care about, as long as it was consensual?”

“Fine. Two were married.”

“Go ahead.” The hand grips even harder and Castiel comes closer. Dean doesn’t dare opening his eyes, which fell shut around sin number two.

“I accidentally killed… some people and probably… some… entities not really deserving it.”

Castiel’s breath dances over the shell of his ear. “Go ahead. And Dean, with your job, that is hardly sinning. I would not say that it’s as much of a sin as… Led Zeppelin being your favorite group, but in the great scheme of things it’s not that far from it.”

“Dammit, now that was the one I wanted to keep for last,” Dean tries to joke, but the sarcasm dies when his voice cracks. Pity. The way Castiel pronounced Led Zeppelin would have been worth of more than one smart comeback on his part.

“Why don’t you get to what really matters?”

He shivers as Castiel’s hand goes behind his neck. He shivers. He feels cold.

“I curse a lot.” The grip is stronger.

“Dean. Please. Do you think he’s that easily offended?”

There’s silence.

“I sold my soul.” Saying why and to whom isn’t really necessary. The other hand grips his other shoulder where his scar is.

“You don’t say that it was an act of love though. Wrong, but still. Go ahead.”

Dean’s voice is barely audible. “I caved in. I said yes. And I didn’t last half of the time…”

“Thirty years is a long time. And?”

“And. I… I tortured them for ten years, what else? You know it, Cas. You’ve seen it, right?”

He fights a tear threatening to spill down his cheek.

“True. I did. But you didn’t tell me, you know. Have you ever told anyone other than Sam?”

Dean shakes his head and he really feels like crying. “I’m doing it now, right?”

He keeps his eyes closed.

“Before we go on… I’d ask you to forgive me.”

Dean’s eyes snap open and meet Castiel’s deadly serious stare again. It goes straight to his soul or so it seems and Dean’s frame shakes as soon as Castiel’s hand covers the scar on his shoulder.

“Me? Forgiving you?”

“The order was late, but maybe I could have come sooner. Or maybe even spared you the last ten years.”

“This is nonsense. I don’t have any business…”

“You do.”

The voice is as serious as the stare. Dean doesn’t think it could get more serious.

“Hell… well, okay, fuck, oh, anyway, I mean, yeah.”

He wants to say that not doing it would be pretty much ungrateful since Castiel did bust him out after all, but he can’t find the voice to speak more.

“Is there anything else you wish to confess?”

“I never… never paid any speeding ticket I got,” he answers, a lump forming in his throat, feeling just ridiculous. It was the first thing that came to mind.

“That’s all?”

“That’s… all.”

“Then,” Castiel says drawing closer, his hand not on the scar crawling up to cup Dean’s cheek, “Dean Winchester, I absolve you from your sins in name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.”

There’s silence for maybe a minute.

“That’s… that’s it? Nothing I need to do to… atone it?”

“I think you’ve done enough. And don’t say it doesn’t work like this. I’m no priest and I doubt that a number of prayers would make you feel better. Not that you’d say them anyway.”

“Yeah. Guess… I guess not. I didn’t tell… about…”

Castiel looks at him and Dean sighs, not needing to hear the answer; lips which are impossibly soft and rough at the same time cover his own. He gives Castiel access as his tongue slowly traces Dean’s lips, soft like a feather’s touch. Dean just rests his hand on Castiel’s hips and draws his naked form closer, skin warm and strangely unmarred even if it should be scarred at least in a couple of places.

He feels a weight lifted from his shoulders; you’re forgiven, Castiel whispers into his ear when they part, and Dean melts against him.

End.

Title: God's Ways Are Mysterious And Ineffable (Or How The Prophet Chuck Learned It The Hard Way)
Rating: PG13, utter crack
Characters/Pairing: Chuck, Zachariah, implied Dean/Castiel
Words: 983
Summary: If Chuck Shirley (or better, the prophet Chuck, thank you very much) ever felt mocked by his own writing, well, this time is a winner.
Spoilers: For 4x18, The Monster At The End Of This Book.
Disclaimer: Supernatural is surely not mine and I probably couldn't do it better than they do. Even if at this point this isn't that far from canon.
A/N: for lasamy who wanted Dean/Castiel and dare. This? Is 100% crack. If you're a devout Catholic, you don't think that God has a sense of humor and likes trashy novels and believe in everything Leviticus says, I strongly advise to skip this one. Also, random abuse of Keith Urban. I actually like him, so that you know.

Castiel lifted his weary hand in order to reach Dean’s cheek, bringing it closer, with a slowness which Dean found absolutely and utterly and unjustly unnerving, so much that he could not wait a second more. He took the hems of Castiel’s trench coat (he couldn’t help thinking that it really was similar to Columbo’s, and Dean had watched enough of that show to be sure of it) and met Castiel’s mouth with a warm, wet kiss…

Damn.

If Chuck Shirley (or better, the prophet Chuck, thank you very much) ever felt mocked by his own writing, well, this time is a winner.

His fingers itch to write what happens next, but he doesn’t dare. He just doesn’t dare. He reaches for a beer, muttering in disappointment when he realizes the can is empty. Then he tries hard not to curse.

He wonders if there’s some way around it. Fuck. Not likely, when the last vision you had is Dean and that freaking angel in the Columbo trenchcoat fucking more or less like bunnies, and may God forgive him for comparing one of His angels to a rabbit. And he saw all the details, too. It’s impossible for him to have seen the wrong thing. He really doesn’t hallucinate this kind of thing.

Dammitdammitdammit.

Zachariah, last and first time he saw him, said not to censor anything; but Chuck doesn’t know if it applies in this case. The problem is, what he saw wasn’t that far from the same kind of stuff some of his most dedicated fangirls write (fine, they write Sam/Dean, but the whole angels arch is still unprinted, after all; he’s sure that a lot of them would be all over angel-on-human sex like locusts, and he realizes that it isn’t a fair thing to say regarding your fans, but his head can’t come up with better metaphors at the moment). Chuck thinks that he could name at least a couple of screen names who would write some excellent porn out of it, especially because Chuck’s strong point always was het porn more than gay porn. Or slash porn, as they say.

Chuck’s cheeks redden in shame as he re-reads the last sentence; they feel on fire. He stands up and grabs another beer. Also, he doesn’t get what’s wrong with it, but there’s a bit that doesn’t sound like it’s his own doing, like he took it from some other place like a song or a movie or something and he wouldn’t want to get sued out of anything. Who knows which one is it though.

“I just don’t dare,” he says aloud to no one, “I just don’t. I mean, I can’t…”

“What’s that you don’t dare writing?”

Chuck almost chokes on his first drink and glares at Zachariah, who has appeared just in front of his computer. Damn, he feels Dean’s pain with the whole angel perched on your shoulder thing, except that he hopes that he and Zachariah never come to… well. Better not think about it.

That. I mean, you said write. And alright, I do. I mean, I do. Really. My job, right? But… that. I can’t. This… just… not! It’d get probably censored! I’d even make it become… canon. And you’d get girls writing fanfiction out of your freaking gospel!”

“Talk less and let me see.”

Chuck shrugs and Zachariah scans the page, nods a couple of times and then comes closer and pats Chuck on his shoulder a couple of times. Chuck doesn’t really like that knowing smirk.

“Prophet, don’t fear. If that’s what you’re supposed to write, then go write it. It might actually help correcting a couple of those… misunderstandings we got across. You know, Paul, Leviticus, that whole thing. I suppose you can’t do nothing about the shrimps, but well. If people don’t get it, they don’t get it. That said, no one’s going to punish you. Everyone on the rack knows that Castiel likes Dean Winchester more than he lets on. We really don’t mind that much, as far as it doesn’t interfere with his mission or cloud his better judgment. But if it’s part of His plan then we’re not allowed to question it. His ways are mysterious, after all. And ineffable, too. Also, He wouldn’t want you to see something that does not happen.

“But… the… the fangirls!”

“Well, they will help you spread His word. See it like that. Stop fussing around and do your job, prophet. Also, I have to strongly advise you to change that last line.”

“What?”

“Believe me, Dean Winchester would kill you way sooner and faster than God ever would care for if he ever found out that you described him kissing Castiel with a line from a country song. And Keith Urban, of everyone.”

Zachariah is suddenly gone and Chuck takes his head between his hands. Damn. Damn. Damn. How could he ever quote Keith Urban of everyone? He shakes his head, deletes met Castiel’s mouth with a warm, wet kiss and changes it with there was a breathtaking clashing of mouths and lips, crowned with a sigh of longing and then he stands up again.

He retrieves his beer and takes a breath. Fine. Fine, he thinks as he drinks. If God wants him to write dirty, filthy and detailed porn between Dean and Castiel, he will. It’s not like they don’t look pretty together anyway, right?

He sits in front of the screen again, silently praying God to spare him eventual threesomes because one thing is reading some of that Wincest fanfiction (hey, it’s flattering, to a degree) once in a while and another would be writing it himself along with a freaking angel in the mix and he starts typing. After all, if it’s the word of God, his publisher will have to print it someway. When and if he finds the money, of course, but that's not his problem.

End.
 
 
feeling: deviousdevious
on rotation: is your love in vain? - bob dylan
 
 
 
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(no subject) - janie_tangerine on April 28th, 2009 09:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
The Huntress: Dean 900Angelshuntress69 on April 28th, 2009 10:35 pm (UTC)
The first was quite sensual in it's own way, I must say, and the second cracked me up.

He sits in front of the screen again, silently praying God to spare him eventual threesomes because one thing is reading some of that Wincest fanfiction (hey, it’s flattering, to a degree) once in a while and another would be writing it himself along with a freaking angel in the mix and he starts typing.

And the threesomes would make a great addition to the gospel and sure as hell make me convert. I mean I will convert anyway, I'll just convert quicker.

Thanks for writing these.
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural dean/castieljanie_tangerine on April 28th, 2009 10:39 pm (UTC)
Thanks for reading!

Sincerely, I'd be all over the threesome. I'm surprised I've barely read any, but maybe I just don't search the right place. ;) And ha, yes, I'd totally convert too. The second is probably my favorite of the two but I have a soft spot for my crack. Thanks again, glad you liked these!
(no subject) - huntress69 on April 28th, 2009 10:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - janie_tangerine on April 28th, 2009 10:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
kira_bouviea on April 28th, 2009 11:14 pm (UTC)
*cackles like mad* these were both brilliant.

I adore the second one.
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural dean/castieljanie_tangerine on April 29th, 2009 06:52 am (UTC)
Thanks so much! Hee, I'm really happy with the second actually. I loved that episode so much.
(no subject) - kira_bouviea on April 29th, 2009 07:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - janie_tangerine on April 29th, 2009 07:14 am (UTC) (Expand)
Olympiaolympia_m on April 29th, 2009 04:38 am (UTC)
I'm in a mood for funny stuff, so Im a bit biased :):) and, so--
the first was great too, but - ooh, the secnd was made of pure win!!! :):):)
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural castieljanie_tangerine on April 29th, 2009 06:51 am (UTC)
Oh, I'm probably more for the second too. But I like my crack. ;)

Thanks so much, glad you enjoyed them!
kitchensexslavekitchensexslave on April 29th, 2009 06:28 am (UTC)
The first one was lovely, so moving!

And the second was fantastic crack! So, apparently we fangirls will help to spread the word? Too right!
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural castieljanie_tangerine on April 29th, 2009 06:50 am (UTC)
Thanks so much!

Glad you liked the both of them, and yes! Well, I figured we would if it happened in canon, right? ;) For all I'm concerned, I'll spread gladly.
catoasapun: [GO] Enough of a bastardcatoasapun on April 29th, 2009 07:06 am (UTC)
Oh, the first one was beautiful. Wow. It was truly sensual and loving and all kinds of intimate; the conversation was so lovely and so very them. Excellent job.

The second one was AWESOME!!! It made me laugh so hard I nearly choked. Angel slash as the word of God: WIN. XD It is most certainly ineffable if you ask me.
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural dean/castieljanie_tangerine on April 29th, 2009 07:13 am (UTC)
OMG GOOD OMENS ICON! (Isn't it? ;) also, where the ineffable comes from probably. ;) ) *loves*

Erm, that said, thanks so much! I'm really happy to hear you liked them both, and especially the dialogue in the first.

And ha, the second is probably my favorite though. We all know that if God likes trashy novels he has to enjoy angle slash, right? ;) Ineffable indeed!
(no subject) - catoasapun on April 29th, 2009 07:20 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - janie_tangerine on April 29th, 2009 07:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - catoasapun on April 29th, 2009 07:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - janie_tangerine on April 29th, 2009 07:59 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - catoasapun on April 29th, 2009 08:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - janie_tangerine on April 29th, 2009 08:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - catoasapun on April 29th, 2009 08:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
Zelda: Castiel It's an Angel Thingzelda_zee on April 29th, 2009 09:52 am (UTC)
I really liked both of these, but I really got a kick out of the Prophet Chuck writing D/C slash. So funny!
the female ghost of tom joadjanie_tangerine on April 29th, 2009 06:41 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much! Oh, I'm partial to the second one too. Chuck is kind of way too fun to write and I couldn't resist the idea. Glad you liked them!
Archon Menthaarchon_mentha on April 29th, 2009 06:18 pm (UTC)
These are both great - the second has me giggling out loud at work. Wonderful!
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural castieljanie_tangerine on April 29th, 2009 06:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! Hee, I had a lot of fun writing the second so yay if it had its effect. ;) Thanks again!
emocezi: XDemocezi on April 29th, 2009 07:30 pm (UTC)
On the second one.

So....we're really helping with our fangirling, eh?? Well they say God DOES work in mysterious ways. XDDDDD
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural dean/castieljanie_tangerine on May 4th, 2009 11:54 am (UTC)
Thanks so much! Well, #2 was kinda my favorite too. ;)

And OF COURSE WE ARE! Come on, it was obvious. ;)
lover all alone: SPN: Dean/Castiel My heart beatinvisiblelove on April 30th, 2009 04:55 pm (UTC)
I love Dean and Castiel so much. These were both fantastic! LOL I love Chuck writing the bad!fanfic prophecies ;)

Lovely job, my dear <33
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural dean/castieljanie_tangerine on May 4th, 2009 11:56 am (UTC)
Thanks so much! And ha, we all know Chuck loves badfic, deep down inside... ;) ;)
Psycheazdaja_dafema on June 3rd, 2009 02:29 am (UTC)
Oh that first one is so right and so beautiful and pure and then the second one had me giggling /so/ much. Magic.
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural dean/cas finale #1janie_tangerine on June 3rd, 2009 08:30 am (UTC)
Oh, thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the both of them, thank you again!
salt shakers & matchsticksquovadimus83 on November 24th, 2009 10:53 pm (UTC)
well, if God wants ME to READ dirty, filthy & detailed porn between Dean & Castiel, I guess I will... :D yay for these!
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural + nick cave = otpjanie_tangerine on November 24th, 2009 11:14 pm (UTC)
Ha, I totally will too. I'm on board with anything dirty and filthy, lol. ;) Thank you!!
twasadarktwasadark on December 5th, 2009 04:52 am (UTC)
Beautiful story; I especially liked your description of the kiss. Just lovely.
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural + nick cave = otpjanie_tangerine on December 5th, 2009 11:20 am (UTC)
Aw, thank you so much! :D I'm so glad that you liked it. ;)
escilas on March 22nd, 2010 11:04 pm (UTC)
Man, that was a flashback to my Catholic days. Wish my confessions were as hot as Dean's... xD

I loved all the silly sins Dean listed. Nice story :)
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural dean/cas finale #1janie_tangerine on March 23rd, 2010 10:11 am (UTC)
LOL, if I could have had confessions that way maybe I'd consider religion. ;) Thanks, glad you liked it! :D
vivhasariflevivhasarifle on May 4th, 2010 02:22 am (UTC)
I loved both of these. Especially the first one.
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural dean/castieljanie_tangerine on May 4th, 2010 08:34 am (UTC)
Thanks so much, I'm really glad you did!! :D