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05 June 2009 @ 11:51 am
fic, Supernatural: Last Exit (Dean/Castiel), NC17  
Title: Last Exit
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Words: 1872
Summary: "Dean," he whispers again, and there's something desperate in Castiel's voice, so raw and small at the same time that Dean can only relent and turn to face him, and fuck if he can't hold on to a vow for more than a minute. As it is, they are definitely not done, and that just makes Dean want to scream.
Spoilers: heavy for 4x22. Actually, the prompt I wrote it for it's spoilery in itself and it's in the summary, so if you didn't see it just scroll this down.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, what news. And I don't even own the title, it's from a random Pearl Jam song which doesn't have a thing to do with the fic whatsoever.
A/N: written for the Supernatural kink meme for the prompt desperate sex and wing!porn. Set in the room where Dean is being held hostage by the angels in 4.22. Using for sacred_20 #16, reverent.

"You're already dead. We're done."


"We're done," Dean spits, and he makes sure that the tone is as reproachful as it can get. Fuck Cas for being the spineless son of a bitch he is and for making Dean think he could actually trust him, fuck Zachariah for putting him in this mess at all, fuck himself because maybe he could have made Sam stay instead of snapping at him even if he deserved it and just, fuck everything. He wants to break his hand against the wall and he's almost tempted to, not like it hasn't been hurting already since he tried to punch Castiel, but then he feels a presence just behind him and it's not right because according to what always happens, Castiel should be gone now.

"Dean," he whispers again, and there's something desperate in Castiel's voice, so raw and small at the same time that Dean can only relent and turn to face him, and fuck if he can't hold on to a vow for more than a minute. As it is, they are definitely not done, and that just makes Dean want to scream.

"And what now?" he asks, realizing that he sounds more frustrated than angry. It doesn't matter that Castiel is looking down at the ground and that his posture is everything but badass-angelic and that his shoulders are somewhat hunched and his eyes just sad for the second they meet Dean's before turning back to the ground.

He's not falling for his act, no sir; except that he has to at least wonder if it is an act at all when Castiel raises one hand and then drops it by his side.

"I... I can't... this is not the way I wanted it to be."

"Well, your fucking choice, Cas. Cut the crap and just decide."

"Dean, can't you see that I don't have a choice?"

"Bullshit. Everybody has one, you included."

Castiel shakes his head and suddenly comes closer. Way too close. Fuck, Dean thinks, Jimmy could have at least taught him that the concept of personal space exists in this world.

"I can't. You don't know what... why..."

Suddenly Dean finds himself with his wrists pinned to the wall and Castiel's eyes burn into his; almost like that time when he threatened to send him back to Hell, he thinks, and then shivers.

"You just don't get to say such a thing until you know why. Bible camp, as you said," and Castiel's voice drops to a hiss, clearly forcing the words out, "didn't last two days for me. And you don't want to know what was it like. But if you want to know why I did agree in the end, it was because I was assured that no matter what, you'd be granted access to Heaven along with your brother. I see that I was wrong and it wouldn't bring you the happiness you still think you don't deserve, but you don't get to say I'm dead. You just don't."

"Didn't you say that you didn't serve..."

"What was I supposed to say? We were being watched. I couldn't do otherwise, not when... when it was what I should have said."

"And you didn't want to say it?"

"No. I... I didn't."

"But... what's it then?"

"I want," Castiel chokes, and then his lips are on Dean's, insistent and firm and pretty fucking desperate as he cradles Dean's face between his hands. For a second Dean wonders if it's just another trick, but Castiel's hands are shaking and angels aren't supposed to shake and whimper as Castiel is; it just can't be fake. It can't be, and Dean opens his mouth and swallows Castiel's grateful moan. The sound breaks something in him, though; Castiel kisses him like he's starved for it and he's... well, he's a mess. A very, very human mess actually. Dean feels suddenly scared of what triggered this, of how deep he must have gotten under Castiel's skin; but well, Castiel got under his own in return because otherwise Dean would be pushing him away and not drawing him closer by the hems of that ridiculous coat.

He can't help himself, not when he knows the reasons, not when Castiel is honest-to-God melting against him murmuring I'm sorry and I want and I need between quick kisses he trails over Dean's face. Suddenly all he wants is to take off that damned tax accountant outfit, slam Castiel against the wall, have his way with him before fleeing this place and try to stop Sam with Castiel standing by his side. And then, he remembers that they're probably not alone.

"Cas, what if they're seeing us?"

Castiel bites his lip and looks straight at him.

"Do you want to stop?"

"Fuck no," he breathes.

"Well, then I think I might have a solution."

Suddenly Castiel's coat and shirt are on the ground and a bright, blinding light fills the room; Dean thinks he might faint when he sees two wide, just magnificent wings as they stretch from Castiel's back. The feathers are all different shades of gray and fuck, they glow silver of anything; Dean longs to touch them all of a sudden and he's just mesmerized as Castiel comes closer. But he can't help noticing that the wings aren't exactly symmetrical; one is slightly crooked and hunches a bit, like it was broken at some point and then badly set.

"What... was that because of..." he murmurs, not wanting to kill the mood by saying it out loud, but unable to shut up. As usual. Castiel's sad, weary smile says it all and Dean wishes he never, never told Cas what he said before because no creature such as Castiel should be punished for his sake, of everyone. Not even if he's a self-righteous pain in the ass most of the time. After all, he did drag him out, which makes him Dean's personal pain in the ass, and he just can't stand the thought.

"You shouldn't have... I'm not..."

"You are," Castiel simply says, and then the wings wrap softly around them. "There. No one can see us now."

Dean nod and his hand reaches forward, touching the feathers. They're soft and pliant to the touch and as his fingers tangle in between, they sort of move forward, like they want to be touched. And so he strokes here and there for a while while Castiel is still with his hands on Dean's waist.

It isn't until Castiel starts moaning softly that Dean realizes that those wings aren't part of Jimmy Novak's body; those wings are Castiel himself and if they want Dean's hands upon them, then Castiel wants the same and it's enough to make his knees almost buckle. He draws Castiel closer and grinds against him, suddenly terrified as he realizes how, how desperate he is for this. Even if maybe the most terrifying thing is that Castiel is as desperate as he is, but fuck, thinking is really not what he should do now.

He feels too clothed and he groans in relief as Castiel takes his jacket and shirt off; hands roam all over his chest and Dean just arches into the touch, feathers touching his back as the wings curl closer. Castiel's skin is unbearably hot against his but it feels fine, just fine, and when hands cup his cheeks and turn his head so that he's facing Castiel, Dean's heart skips a beat. Castiel's lips are swollen and his eyes are impossibly wide and he's looking at him in a way that Dean would describe almost as reverent, if his ego was far gone enough to make him say such a thing. And he looks at him as if he wants to say something but can't say what.

Goes unsaid that Dean chooses the easy way.

"Cas, fuck, just... if you don't do something now I might..."

And then he finds himself slammed up against the wall even if it doesn't hurt because his back lands against soft, soft feathers, and Castiel pushes his own trousers and Dean's jeans down and damn, damn, damn, seeing Castiel spit into his hand after a couple of seconds where it looked like he was debating over something is wrongwrongwrong but it's also such a turn-on that Dean becomes even harder and really, he had thought it couldn't get any worse. Wrong.

But when his hands grip Castiel's hips again knowing that they won't bruise and he somehow hooks his legs around Castiel's waist as he's pushed against the feathers covering the wall it really isn't wrong, and it isn't wrong when there's a finger and then two and then Castiel is inside him with a single push and while it does hurt, it's bearable. And then Castiel starts thrusting without taking it slow and Dean meets him because he can't do this slowly now, not when Castiel's mouth found his again and again he's being kissed like Castiel is just starved for it.

He can't deny that the urgency is making him getting closer and closer and then there's that striking contrast between that strange, perfect mix of pain and pleasure that Castiel's thrusts bring and the way the wings are just comfortable behind his shoulders. A feather bed, he thinks, and he'd laugh if he wasn't busy trying to last a bit here. He's impossibly, achingly hard when one of Castiel's hands reach down and wraps around his cock, and then Dean just can't hold it anymore, not really, and as he comes his head is on Castiel's shoulder and he doesn't realize that, as he said fuck, Cas before losing any possible coherence, his tone had been low and he had muttered it in Castiel's ear. The body against his shakes then, shakes hard, and Castiel is coming barely seconds later, Dean's name the only word escaping his lips. Dean should seriously freak out as he sees his features relax in an expression which he can only describe as blissed, but he just can't bring himself to care about that when the feathers beneath his back feel better than anything he ever laid on. Not when Castiel's lips are so close and just begging to be kissed. And Dean does, and strangely it's slow and short and it lacks any urgency whatsoever, but he knows it can't last.

It can't and as they part he barely has time to blink before his clothes are back on and the wings are gone and it's just him and Cas in the holy tax accountant suit.

"So what now?" Dean asks, his voice hoarse. He's barely aware he's speaking.

There's a certain sweetness in Castiel's smile which is his only answer; and then Dean sees him taking a knife, Ruby's knife, out of a pocket in the inside of the trench coat, but a hand is on his mouth and Castiel is backing him up against the wall again. Suddenly Dean recognizes his expression, the same he had in the parking lot when he told Dean that an archangel was perched on Chuck's shoulder, and he nods; it's two seconds before Castiel places blade against his skin and slices his forearm.

on rotation: Pearl Jam - 08 Corduroy | Powered by Last.fm
elessae: pic#80400628 warichigoelessae on June 5th, 2009 02:06 pm (UTC)
Oh, lovely, lovely, lovely.

You've picked my favourite minuscule moment from 4x22 and written such a glorious fic for it - I especially love how hungry and desperate you've written Castiel to be for Dean's kisses - after so many fics in this fandom, and alot of them marvelous, it is amazing how your portrayal of Castiel in that moment, of love and need and want, is so original, and I've truly never read another fic that channels that emotion of fear and want as articulately as you have done here.

Just ... bravo. Really.

Thank you for sharing!
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural dean/cas finale #1janie_tangerine on June 5th, 2009 04:23 pm (UTC)
Aw, thank you so much!

I kinda ran away with the prompt but I just loved that scene and I figured I could set it there. And... wow. Seriously, thanks so much because you flatter me way too much, Castiel isn't the easiest character for me so now I'm seriously beaming because that was exactly what I was trying to do and just wow, thank you. Really. This totally made my evening. Thank you again, very much glad to hear you liked it this much!
karaq on June 5th, 2009 04:45 pm (UTC)
This was brilliant! :-) (and really how that episode SHOULD have happened - we would all have been much happier fangirls then)
More please.

the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural dean/cas finale #1janie_tangerine on June 5th, 2009 09:27 pm (UTC)
Oh, thanks so much! And yeah, I agree, that should have happened. ;) I'd have been a very happy camper if it did. Annd, I don't know about the more but I'll surely write more of the pairing, they've eaten my head lately. ;) Thank you again!
missafflictionmissaffliction on June 5th, 2009 05:19 pm (UTC)
Oh. My. God. Wing sex? I worship you!!

I love how you managed to twist that scene and yet keep all the motion of it and then some :) Brilliantttt. And gahhh, the wings!! >.
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural dean/sam omg aujanie_tangerine on June 5th, 2009 09:28 pm (UTC)
Aw, I'm not worthy! ;) But thank you so much! Wing sex wins, doesn't it?

And ha, I had fun with trying to keep it as close to canon as possible. Just shows how much UST is in there in the first place *cough*. Thank you so much again!
martyred_wings on June 5th, 2009 05:26 pm (UTC)
Guh! I'm a sucker for Castiel's wings *points to icon* and I love what you've written! It was awesome *and hot* :D
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural castieljanie_tangerine on June 5th, 2009 09:29 pm (UTC)
Heee, his wings are something of beauty, aren't they? ;) Thank you so much, glad you liked it! <3
starrycastielstarrycastiel on June 5th, 2009 06:03 pm (UTC)
Oh, I liked the way you wrote Dean recognizing what Castiel is about to do- the way you wrote Dean's awe of that, the way they're cleaving together two halves of a whole, and the way Castiel just fucks into Dean here unf.

But that one broken wing, and the way he's still protecting Dean even with the reminder of that hurt, meep I love that angel!
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural castieljanie_tangerine on June 5th, 2009 09:31 pm (UTC)
Aw, you completely pointed out my favorite parts here. Thank you so much, glad you liked this! And ha, the prompt said desperate sex and I guess I just went for it all the way, but since I was.. ;) the broken wing thing came out of nowhere but I'm pretty happy with it. Oh, Cas. *sighs and loves him with you* Thanks again! <3
catoasapuncatoasapun on June 6th, 2009 12:25 am (UTC)
Oh god, this was amazing, bb.

It's so hot and passionate and loving and needy; perfect, basically.

I love fics where Castiel shows Dean his wings and Dean is in awe of them; its such a beautiful expression.

I just... love this. Wows.
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural dean/cas riverjanie_tangerine on June 6th, 2009 07:53 am (UTC)
Aw, thank you so much!

I just decided that those two had to be needy in this and I think I just went for it, lol, but considering that I think I don't usually do it well I'm so happy to hear it worked here! ♥ and the wings were half of the reason I went with the prompt because, I mean, yes, so yay if you liked that scene too. ;) Thank you again! ♥
lover all alone: SPN: Dean/Castiel In this togetherinvisiblelove on June 6th, 2009 04:45 am (UTC)
HELLO. First of all, what a delicious prompt. Good choice ;) Ummmm this was amazing. Lovely imagery and just smoking hot and passionate and \o/

the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural dean/cas finale #1janie_tangerine on June 6th, 2009 07:51 am (UTC)

And HELLO yourself, lol. Thanks so much! It was totally too good to leave it there all alone. ;) Much glad you liked it, thank you! ♥
xMax_X5-452xxmax_x5_452x on June 6th, 2009 07:42 am (UTC)
Oh, my God! Thank you SOO much for this fic!!! I was hoping someone would do one after seeing the Cas/Dean scenes in the finale! So, thank you SOO much!!! I LOVED IT!!! And it was PERFECT!!!
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural bon jovi rocksjanie_tangerine on June 6th, 2009 07:51 am (UTC)
Hee, I read the prompt and just had to do it, y'know? Thank you so much, I'm really glad you liked it!!
chocolate_inyxchocolate_inyx on June 6th, 2009 07:54 am (UTC)
Oooh! That was gorgeous!
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural bon jovi rocksjanie_tangerine on June 6th, 2009 07:56 am (UTC)
Thanks so much! <3
Melawen: scoremelawen_c on June 6th, 2009 03:15 pm (UTC)
Ok, you had me from the summary and it got even better from there.
WIIINNNGSSSSS!!!! *loves* And the desperation and the broken wing and Cas shielding them from sight and the insane hotness of it all.... *sighs* Absolutely gorgeous.
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural dean/castieljanie_tangerine on June 6th, 2009 06:48 pm (UTC)
Aw, thank you so much!! Ha, wings are just that good of a kink, aren't they? ;) I'm really so glad you liked it, thanks again! ♥
Cordelia Delayne: the winchesterscordeliadelayne on June 6th, 2009 11:38 pm (UTC)
*is ded from the hot* This was brilliant. Loved the details about Castiel's wings and his desperation just seeps off the screen.
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural dean/cas finale #1janie_tangerine on June 7th, 2009 08:05 am (UTC)
*revives you* Oh, thank you! I was aiming for the desperate thing so much glad that I managed it. ;) And the wings were my favorite part to write so even better if you liked that, too. Thanks again!
_izu_ on June 9th, 2009 09:46 am (UTC)
...oh come ti amo. Oh dio lover. Oh dio. Ma è bellissima ;___; cioè...le ali...le...mi è piaciuto così tanto questo dettaglio ;___; cioè, è la tipica cosa che avrei potuto disegnare io, ti rendi conto? TT e hanno vita propria *__* le ali che ti salutano al mattino e ti offrono il caffè *___*

E hai scritto del pezzetto che tanto amo ;__; quando sussurra "Dean" e tiene gli occhi bassi ;__;

Mi è piaciuta molto la descrizione dell'espressione di Castiel nelle ultime righe. E' vero, ha fatto proprio l'espressione-del-parcheggio (che suona malissimo ma...XD). Quella sorta di intima sicurezza a proposito della comprensione dell'altro. Oddio, è comprensibile quello che ho detto? XD

Bellissimi. Risposami.

(ah, il nuovo lay con quel header ci sta da dio *___* mi sa che a breve ti chiederò altro aiuto XD)
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural dean/cas finale #2janie_tangerine on June 9th, 2009 11:01 am (UTC)
Lover, tu sai che io ti risposerò sempre XDD alle nozze d'argento lo rifacciamo sì? XD

AH MA ALLORA CI SEI TU, vedi che la lingua non è tanto ostica? XDDD e grazie ;____; davvero sono commossa XD lol la cosa con le ali che hanno vita propria non ho la minima idea di dove sia uscita fuori ma mi piaceva, ergo.. XD

Io AMO QUEL PEZZETTO ;_; se non è il mio preferito di tutta quella scena poco ci manca *_*

. E' vero, ha fatto proprio l'espressione-del-parcheggio (che suona malissimo ma...XD)

LOL oddio effettivamente non suona troppo bene ma ci credi che è la prima cosa che ho notato? XDD Misha, Misha, che finezza interpretativa che hai, vabbe che la scena del parcheggio la so a memoria ma l'ho beccato subito, non ho resistito XD e si si non ti preoccupare che è comprensibile e l'obiettivo era quello, quindi.. ♥ ♥ ♥

(uh quando vuoi, non so quanto starò su fino a venerdì che ho l'esame al solito ma quando vuoi.. XD e graz <33)
_izu_ on June 9th, 2009 11:36 am (UTC)
Quanto ammmmoreh :°D Maccerto, facciamo tutto quello che la bride ordina :°D

Massì, che sto leggendo ff da un po' XD mi sono oscuri diversi punti, però mi sto impegnando >°: Tu SAI che io disegnerò qualcosa del genere, vero? *_* perchè le ali che risplendono d'argendo mi mandano in estasi XQ___ (sai che ho la mena degli angeli XD)

A me piace quando lo chiama. In genere. Lo fa sempre con quel timore tutto suo che...*_*

E' vero, è vero *___* io invece non ci avevo fatto davvero caso *__* tu bravissima scovatrice di espressioni castellifere, lover *___*

('desso mi connetto un attimo)
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural dean/samjanie_tangerine on June 9th, 2009 01:02 pm (UTC)
ECCO XD sai che il mio amore per te è infinito spero... ♥

AH ECCOLA XD per tua informazione le ali in quel modo le ho scritte pure da un'altra parte *cough* e ODDIO SI TI PREGO DISEGNA QUALCOSA DI SIMILE DEVE ESISTERE *__*

Lo fa sempre con quel timore tutto suo che...*_*

VERO? *_*

E AH, BEH, io la faccia del parcheggio ce l'ho stampata in testa XD non per niente penso sia il mio episodio preferito questa stagione fatti tutti i conti *_* non potevo non beccarla *_* e espressioni CASTILLIFERE è fantastico <333
Lou: SPN - castielgottalovev on June 10th, 2009 11:51 pm (UTC)
ohhh, that was awesome! I am such a sucker for the wings in fic, and you top in with a Castiel a bit desperate with need and want and I am a goner! wonderful!
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural castieljanie_tangerine on June 11th, 2009 06:48 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you! I always liked wing fic but seriously, this pairing turned me into a complete sucker for it so much glad you liked this. ;) And I was hoping for that Cas characterization to be alright so even better. ;) ♥ Thanks again!
Patent Counsel for Adrian Veidt and Tony Stark: SPN Castiel Haloakemi42 on December 27th, 2010 10:16 am (UTC)
I love it! Especially the wings. Someone recced your SPN fic and I am so glad I checked it out..