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12 April 2010 @ 09:19 pm
fic, Supernatural: you know the shape my breath will take before I let it out (Dean/Castiel), NC17  
Title: you know the shape my breath will take before I let it out
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Warnings: consensual d/s even if not of the heavy kind, orgasm denial
Words: 1657
Summary: Dean doesn’t even remember exactly when they stopped having your nice, simple, usual sex and got to this, but if you asked him right now, he couldn’t exactly remember anything at all
Spoilers: general S5.
Disclaimer: SPN isn't mine, like it's news whatsoever.
A/N: originally written for invisiblelove for the five acts meme; the promptes were orgasm denial and established relationship. This = not the kind of porn I usually write but after this meme I can't say I don't do it. Title from this song.

If you asked him, Dean couldn’t tell you if he would have been up for this before Hell. He’s pretty sure that it wouldn’t have even crossed his mind. For all Sam says about his less than monastic ways of life, Dean’s never been too much into anything going farther than light bondage, and it always was because his partner asked, not because he brought it up.

But you know, you need to trust someone even just for that, and Dean Winchester-before-Hell trusted a very small and specific number of people, none of which were possible bed partners and most of which were actually related to him, so.

One would say that he’d have worse trust issues, after Hell. Which is also very, very true.

But, it’s also true that with Castiel all bets are off. When someone drags you out of Hell, leaves Heaven, sticks by your side, forgives you every damn stupid thing you do and decides to stay with you even after the Apocalypse is over and he could actually go back, you can’t have trust issues. You just don’t.

Dean doesn’t even remember exactly when they stopped having your nice, simple, usual sex and got to this, but if you asked him right now, he couldn’t exactly remember anything at all, because he’s with his back on a bed which is less terrible than most motels he has slept in, he has his legs spread wide open, he can’t move because Cas is keeping him pinned to the mattress using goddamn angel mojo and he has been driving Dean crazy for… he doesn’t even know how much time.

“Please,” Dean whispers, his voice half-wrecked.

“Please what?” Cas answers back as his left hand draws patterns on Dean’s left nipple so slowly that it almost hurts and his right is closed around Dean’s erection, making sure he can’t possibly come even if he tried. And he isn’t trying, anyway.

But, coming? Yeah, what he has been aching to do since Cas gave him some fucking amazing, of the out-of-the-world kind head and then left him hard and aching for… Jesus Christ, he can’t count the time.

“I want to hear it,” Cas whispers as he leans down and pinches said nipple, and Dean wishes he could at least thrust up, move his hips, gain some friction, but he can’t. And well, he can’t even say he didn’t expect it. As soon as he got the hang of it, Cas totally realized that having the upper hand during sex isn’t that bad, and to be completely honest, Dean wants him to have it. Which is why they ended up here anyway. He’s just sick of having to keep stuff under control and of responsibilities and every-fucking-other-thing. And now that he can afford to let that go (because the world is saved, God is back in his place, Sam is studying law again, Jimmy is back with his family while Cas got a twin vessel and Bobby will walk sometime soon, as long as he keeps going to goddamn physical therapy), he doesn’t really mind not having to decide anything even while in bed.

Not even when he gets to come.

“Let me,” Dean chokes out, and Cas just shakes his head in a way that is almost sadistic.

“Not yet,” he answers, his hand squeezing around Dean’s cock hard enough to momentarily solve the issue.

Dean groans and he shivers as Cas lowers his head and slowly licks a stripe down his chest.

“I think that I want to leave that alone for now,” Cas purrs as he removes the hand around Dean’s cock, and Christ, that voice would be enough to make anyone else come on the spot. If only Dean didn’t like to share, he’d say that Cas would make a fortune, if he starred in a couple of porn flicks. He seriously would. “Of course, that doesn’t mean you can.”

“No,” Dean agrees, and fuck if it isn’t making him harder. He has learned to live with it. He doesn’t even mind that he gets off on not having a say in this anymore.

“Good to know we are on the same page,” Cas murmurs before reaching out with the hand which was on Dean’s nipple before. He doesn’t need to talk; Dean has an idea of what he wants to do and so he just closes his eyes and opens his mouth, expecting the two fingers that slowly push in just after. Then they become three and then, after not too much time, but enough that Dean is concentrating more on that than on the urgency and heat pooling between his legs, they’re gone.

Just to slowly, carefully push inside his entrance thirty seconds later, and fuck, it takes all of Dean’s force of will not to let go right then.

Cas’ other hand suddenly cups his cheek and Dean opens his eyes again, meeting Cas’ for a second in which there’s a soft, fond light in his stare. This while he’s fucking Dean with his fingers mercilessly, slowly and touching in all the right spots inside; and fuck if having Cas looking at him like that while he’s robbing Dean of his own sanity isn’t another turn-on. Right. He’s whipped, as Sam says, and then he forgets he was thinking it because Cas’ fingers bend exactly the right way hitting exactly the right place and he can’t help letting out a moan which would be almost shameful, in any other occasion.

He raises an eyebrow, it’s all the coherency he can muster, and Cas shakes his head softly again while his thumb traces Dean’s lower lip, and Dean can’t help it when his head arches slightly forward. At least he can move that, differently from the rest of his body. But it’s fine. It’s Cas. If it was anyone else he’d be terrified by now, and he wouldn’t let anyone else bind him at all, but like this? Like this is good, like this he can’t help admitting that he wants it, and anyway, it’s not like the pay-off isn’t fucking awesome.

And so he just nods and doesn’t beg or protest or anything. It’s not like he thinks he has to wait much more. Or at least he hopes because he feels like he’ll burst if he doesn’t.

That’s when Cas spreads his legs even further and he’s inside him with a smooth, graceful motion and it barely even hurts (by now, he’s adjusted, and it’s not like Cas, even if he plays sadistic, doesn’t stretch him out for ages before doing this, and he did that before, too; actually, he had started stretching him after said amazing out-of-this-world head and yeah, you get the drill); it feels almost familiar, and it’s a good thing that now it just feels good when the first time he realized that he was having sex with someone who felt familiar he almost had an epic freak out. And damn, Cas moves inside him like he belongs there, like it’s just natural for him to be in that place, and now his hands are actually covering Dean’s wrists even if Dean can’t move, and he’s staring again, so intense that Dean wonders if he shouldn’t close his eyes.

But he never backs off during staring contests with Cas, dammit, and so he doesn’t. And it’s hard, hard not to let go when now he also has that friction he wanted before as Cas moves and thrusts into him, but he doesn’t and just waits. Waits until his vision is blurred and his head is almost spinning and his nerves are a bundle of excitement, and damn, he really wishes he could at least move his hands, it’s starting to become fucking constricting and he needs to touch.

And almost on cue his invisible restrains are gone (because for some reason Cas seems to always know when it’s becoming too much) and his hands are in Cas’ hair bringing his head down and kissing him; and even if Cas gains control of the kiss in maybe five seconds it just feels good to have that kind of contact to drown in as Cas keeps on mercilessly fucking him into the mattress.

He’s so caught up the kiss and in finally, finally managing to grab Cas’ shoulders and touch him there, that he almost doesn’t hear it when Cas breaks their lips’ contact and lowers his head to Dean’s hear.

“You can come,” he whispers, barely audible over the noises coming from Dean’s own mouth, but when he gets it maybe a couple of seconds later he just lets go; as pleasure completely shakes every single inch of his body and he comes so hard that he can’t even feel Cas coming inside him at the same time, Dean thinks that the payoff was especially awesome this time.

And then he doesn’t think anymore.

When he comes to, just barely, the covers are up, he isn’t sticky (advantages of having an angel boyfriend, he figures), his head is in the crook of Cas’ left arm and Cas’ hand which isn’t on his shoulder is lightly stroking his cheek. He always does that. It used to make him feel self-conscious but it doesn’t anymore.

“Is everything…” Cas starts, and Dean would roll his eyes if he wasn’t too comfortable to bother. Another reason he’ll always trust Cas to do this kind of shit: he actually makes sure he didn’t fuck up afterward even if it’s obvious that he hasn’t.

“Everything’s awesome. Stop worrying and go to sleep instead of watching me,” he says before closing his eyes, even if he knows that Cas almost never sleeps. Whatever. He’ll never actually admit that to anyone, but it stopped feeling uncomfortable ages ago. Now? Now it just feels as good as everything else. Maybe one day he will stop feel surprised about his life actually being good, too.

feeling: okayokay
on rotation: the time of your life - little steven & bon jovi
(Deleted comment)
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural castiel 7.0janie_tangerine on September 23rd, 2011 03:33 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much! ;) much glad you liked this one too. Also you know that Cas is a gentleman.. ;)