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23 May 2010 @ 11:37 pm
LOST FINALE POST. More or less.  
Okay, sorry everyone who isn't here for Lost. In the next... three days or so I might stop talking about it, lol. And before the finale happens and it changes my reaction, I figured I owed the goddamn show some talking. Beware: spoilers up to S6.

Dear Lost,

let's cut this short: you were the first goddamn show I really followed.

Well, I always was crap at watching TV. Apart from a couple of exceptions or cartoons (but I quit them when I was eleven or so), I never could follow schedules or seasons or whatever (especially because Italian tv does shit differently), so, unless you count Early Edition which I managed to follow when I was like twelve and Judging Amy, which I've never seen in order anyway and of which I probably haven't seen a good number of episodes, I just didn't watch TV. And I wasn't interested in tv shows. Yes, I'm notoriously lazy.

This, until one day someone (*cough* lasamy *cough*) started recommending you to me. And for a while I just took the suggestion but never did anything about it, mostly because I just didn't see what could be so exciting in watching TV. Or something airing on TV, 'cause I download you and buy dvds, but whatever.

Then stuff happened and I figured what the hell, let's give it a try. So she lent me the S1 dvds just when S3 was ending and damn you, I got fucking hooked. I couldn't fucking stop watching that. It took me two weeks to get through it just because I was in my last year of high school and I had my final exam to prepare. And I finally got what was so exciting about it. S1 of Lost = my favorite season of any show ever, true fact. Anyway, I got through that. Then had my exam. Then got through S2 and S3, and you made me start to lose fucking sleep because at one point I went through 2x12 until 3x12 in twenty-four hours with not much of a break in between. And then I was caught up by the end of the summer.

Meanwhile, you ate my head. I devoured fanfiction, though lurking. I actually wanted to write some, even if I had the language barrier in between (I had never written anything not in Italian before). I liked almost everyone (except poor Kate, and until S1 I liked her too... and Ben, but well, that isn't any news), I just thought you were a work of genius also technically. I started watching you in a time in my life when I was going through a quite heavy transition (I was about to start university) and now I'm about to finish the first chunk of my until now quite decent uni run, and you were with me the whole time. At one point I decided to come out of my hole because I needed to share all my fannishness (is that even a word? Whatever) with some other people who liked you too, because I didn't know anyone in RL watching you. Which, considering how fucked the dubbing here is, isn't too surprising, but that isn't the problem. So I did and I met a bunch of absolutely lovely and amazing people who are the best fandom ever existed hands down, and then I also started watching other shows too because I had finally understood the appeal of TV. Also, I started writing in English just because I couldn't think you in Italian, and btw, you got me out of a moment of feeling like everything I wrote was utter crap, so thanks for that.

Now, show, you are fickle. I utterly and absolutely loved you with not really many quibbles until the S4 finale. Granted, nothing will ever top S1 for me, but I loved S2, I loved S4 and I didn't really see much fault in S3. Oh, sure, you broke my heart in pieces, then stomped over them and then ripped them again just because at least during 1x20, and you kind of did it again in the S3 finale, but until then, I really did love you without much reserves. Except when you killed Danielle and Alex. That was crap.

Anyway. As I said, you are fickle. S5 didn't really do much for me, to be entirely honest. I didn't get where you were going, shipping/character wise it made me dislike stuff rather than like it, and while I did mostly enjoy the ride until the latter half of it, then you had to kill Daniel in that idiotic way while pushing on me characters I couldn't give a damn about, and there... well, we didn't fall out of love, but it was when the season stopped doing it/much for me. Not to mention the finale, which wasn't on par with any of the other four, but let's not dwell on that for now. This season, I really didn't get what you were doing. I liked one third of what happened, disliked another third and probably didn't get the other third, and just so you know, the only thing I really hated this season is f!Locke. Which isn't any news around here, but whatever. Not a small one, I know. And I probably like Jacob just because I think Mark Pellegrino is hot, but whatever. So, I'm not judging it as a whole until I actually see the finale.

So. Show, you gave me woe. You gave me headdesking, a lot of times I read fics which were way better characterized than canon, you killed 3/5 of my final five favorite characters and if we go to my ten favorites you probably killed 8/10 of them, you made me cry, you made me rage, you made me research fucking quantum physics just to write fanfiction and I didn't understand it anyway, you killed half of my ships and you made me dislike characters just because of lazy writing. Also, you like to defy logic, but logic is something I never thankfully expected from you. And also, thanks for ruining half of my classes in my first year of uni (yeah, well, you do philosophy, it's bound to happen).

But, you also gave me a lot. You gave me my second favorite fictional character in the history of ever (just to kill him first in S1, but apparently everyone I like dies anyway), you made me squee and cry and flail like no other show, you actually were my first show for real anyway, thanks to you I met, as stated, a bunch of incredibly wonderful people (and about that... *CLINGS*), you still kept me involved despite everything, you made me care about your goddamn fictional characters more than I have ever cared for any fictional characters if you don't count the Dark Tower series. You were there constantly, however fickle, for three years of my life of which you were an integral part, you made me happy like no other show ever will (and when I wasn't headdesking during the last two seasons), and you were the first... filmed thing that I ever watched without Italian subtitles, so thanks also for forcing me to improve my English. Eee.

In conclusion: you won't be there anymore after tonight. And even if you did a lot, in the last year and a half, to make me dislike you, I'm not really sure I want you to go. Even though goddammit, you really did prove my patience at times. Still, it's been quite the ride and I'm happy I was in for at least half of it. Fuck, I don't even resent you too much for killing Boone when you did, but please note that it took me years to get so zen about it.

So: show, thank you for giving me said ride and making my English improve along the way, lol. Everyone in fandom, I ♥ you and I'm so glad I got to meet you through this craziness. Darlton, I keep you separated from the show itself so I'll wait after the finale to see if I want to thank you or virtually punch you, but for good and for bad I guess you were in for that too. I just hope I never get to smoke what you were smoking in the last five years or so, though. ;) Ian Somerhalder, thanks for giving me Boone, sorry that you didn't get to show how much awesome your character could really be, damn you for forcing me to watch the scepter of Moses and that idiotic movie where you chain-smoked, thanks for being awesome and thanks also for the vampire porn. Everyone else in the cast, thanks for doing the best you could with what you were (sometimes) given even if it wasn't amazing. With special mentions for: Dominic Monaghan because of the awesomeness, Matthew Fox because fuck, there has to be a reason I freaking like Jack and always have (and for the jears. I'LL MISS THE GODDAMN JEARS), Naveen Andrews BECAUSE HE GAVE ME FREAKING SAYID OR MY BACKUP CONSTANT, Henry Ian Cusick for always showing his chest generously and making me fucking ship het pairings, Mira Furlan because she was the Best Female On Lost Ever and Jeff Fahey BECAUSE HE WAS FUCKING FRANK AND I LOVED HIM. (And Jeremy Davies, because in order to pull off The Variable like he did, you need to be fucking good. And I loved Daniel, dammit). Show, despite everything and despite having watched shows which are definitely objectively better than you (IE, just to say one: Deadwood), you're still my favorite if only for everything listed above, and however it goes and however zen I might be, I'll miss you.

Goodbye and see you tomorrow for the last time,


PS: and since something good comes even out of your possibly most nonsense episode (I don't want to say worst because imo you won't ever be able to do worse than The Little Prince, but that's me and my issues)...

gif thanks to navras_rheya

;________________________________________________________; *CLINGS TO EVERYONE*

Alright. This is it. Tomorrow morning I'll resurface from the depths of the abyss of avoiding LJ/twitter when I've seen it with the review post, hopefully flailing.

No, wait, I wasn't done.

Okay, I feel better. I can't make this a Boone-less post, lol.
feeling: nostalgicnostalgic
the awkward young shadowgwape on May 23rd, 2010 10:15 pm (UTC)
I'm crying forever in advance. I'm going to miss this show so much.
the female ghost of tom joad: tangerinesjanie_tangerine on May 24th, 2010 08:57 am (UTC)
I'M ABOUT TO WATCH THE FINALE. ;_______; *already misses the crazy*
(Deleted comment)
the female ghost of tom joad: BRAIN IS MELTEDjanie_tangerine on May 24th, 2010 08:57 am (UTC)
Me too. Sooo much. Loooost. ;_________;
(Deleted comment)
the female ghost of tom joad: JEAAAARRRSSSSjanie_tangerine on May 24th, 2010 08:57 am (UTC)

AND YES ME TOO. ;__________; <33333
Janice: matt and jorge cutejaydblu on May 24th, 2010 02:32 am (UTC)
That was fabulous. I'm going to miss this show like crazy too. I'm happy you're here. :)
the female ghost of tom joad: JEAAAARRRSSSSjanie_tangerine on May 24th, 2010 08:58 am (UTC)
Thanks and I'm def. happy that you're here too!! :D And augh. I'm about to see it and I'm already like ;_________; too.
°°  £å  §âM¥  °°: Lost * Juliet HBIClasamy on May 24th, 2010 07:34 pm (UTC)
Gah it was an honour sharing these years with you. I'm so glad I made you discover it ♥