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28 July 2010 @ 04:21 pm
fic, Lost: you'll whisper sweet lies to me.. (mild MIB/Jacob), PG13  
Last for now. I may have some more tonight. I will def. have more tomorrow.

Title: you'll whisper sweet lies to me (and one of them will be true)
Rating: PG13
Warnings: second person pov in the first part, wacky concept I guess.
Pairing: mild Jacob/MIB (->Samuel), both regular and alt.
Words: 950 ca
Summary: You have always known that Jacob lies. You know it like you know the back of your hand, but you’re brothers; as much as Jacob tries not to show it, he knows that he can’t really fool you. The problem is that Jacob’s lies are usually such sweet ones.
Spoilers: up until the S6 finale. Heavy.
Disclaimer: Lost isn't mine. Really.
A/N: for former queen weatheredlaw at lostsquee who asked for music inspired fic and had angsty Jacob/MIB among the options for pairings. I used The Aspidistra Files by Stars (from where the title comes from, too), even if.. er. Idek if it qualifies as angsty enough or even where it came from. Features second person/third person POV switches even if it's always the same POV, more or less. I really, really hope that you like it, and sorry if it's... weird? Also, implies that the MIB getting out of the cave wasn't the same that went in.

Then:

You have always known that Jacob lies. You know it like you know the back of your hand, but you’re brothers; as much as Jacob tries not to show it, he knows that he can’t really fool you.

The problem is that Jacob’s lies are usually such sweet ones. He always looks sad when he meets you. He always looks like he misses you when he drops white and black pieces on the first flat surface you two find, the rare times when you meet.

He says he wants you to come back. He says that he misses you. He says you should re-evaluate things, and maybe your mother isn’t really lying. He says it’s not the same.

But you can’t forget him for choosing her over you, and so you always say no and choose people you don't care for over him. But they're means to your end and he isn't.

Jacob looks so sincere, though. His voice sounds like that, too. You like to think, at times, that some of what you’re sure is lies might be true. You don’t know what would be, though, even if you’re inclined to rule out anything concerning your mother. Or, well, she isn’t your real mother, but by now the way you put it, that doesn’t exactly matter. And you wish Jacob would see that, but you know he won’t. He’s too nice and good and everything you aren’t, for that. He trusts her too much for that.

You like to think that the things he says about you are true, though. You like to think he really wants you there. You like to think that one day he’ll see the truth and he’ll want to leave, too.

At times, when he kisses you softly on your lips before leaving, before he’s off after one of your games (and they’re increasingly rare, now), you are this close to believing him. Even if neither of you should agree to it, but what’s such a thing in comparison to all the rest?

And even if you do want to believe him at times, you can’t say yes to him. You need to leave, you need to be where you know you’re supposed to (and it isn’t here), and even if he knows that you still love him nonetheless, he also knows it isn’t enough, and he doesn’t push.

It’s a pity. If you two even were on the same page, you could do great things. You could be together, you could see places, you could know something else. You wish he’d understood that the island isn’t his home as much as it isn’t yours. He just doesn’t.

You also know that if he calls you, and he does it sometimes, just sometimes, instead of coming to find you, well, you’ll meet him. Then he might reach out and touch you where your clothes leave bare skin, and you’ll let him because you want him too, but the wall that was built the day you left and he stayed is still there. You wish it wasn’t.

But wishing it wasn’t isn’t enough, and so you choose to still keep on guessing which ones of Jacob’s sweet, sweet lies might be true, and you’ll still plan a way to get out of here. Whatever it takes.

Now:

It’s raining and Samuel has clearly forgot his umbrella, damn, clearly he did; he’s drenched and he wonders why did he ever decide that London was a good place to live. He should have picked someplace like Italy or Spain. Or southern France. Well, now it’s a question of just trying to run and find someplace dry where he can wait for the rain to stop, and…

Suddenly the rain stops and he’s under a blue umbrella. A quite large blue umbrella. The man holding it up is taller than he is, with blond hair, a pair of pretty striking blue eyes if you ask him; he’s dressed with just jeans and a white shirt and there’s a bittersweet smile on his lips.

“Did you forget your umbrella?” he asks, his voice slightly shaking, and Samuel doesn’t even know why he’s feeling jittery all of a sudden.

“Yes. Well, thank you. Could you, uh, maybe walk me unti…”

He doesn’t finish the sentence. The man’s free hand touches his shoulder and…

And he remembers. Everything.

“Jacob…?” he asks with a shaking voice when the hand retreats, and Jacob just smiles and nods.

“Long time no see, right? Listen, I… I never told you after the cave because it wasn’t really you anymore, but… I’m sorry, for all it’s worth. And you were right. I should have gone with you back then.”

“So… so what now?”

Jacob shrugs and moves slightly closer.

“I think we have to move on,” he says, and for some reason Samuel just gets it and doesn’t need further explanations. “But before we do… I just wanted you to know that everything I said was true. Or, it was as far as I was concerned.”

He takes a breath, feeling like he’ll faint. This is too much.

Way too much.

But maybe after they’ll have time to sort it out. He’ll have time to sort it out.

“Well, good to know. So you’re finally coming with me now this time, or what?”

“I am,” Jacob answers sounding relieved.

Jacob’s blue umbrella is, Samuel thinks, frankly ridiculous. But as they walk in the same direction towards St. James square, it feels right. And if it took endless ages of fighting and the both of them dying, and betrayals and him becoming something else entirely, and practically killing each other to get off that island, then he’ll just learn to deal with it. He suspects there will be time for it.

End.
 
 
feeling: busybusy
on rotation: the aspidistra files - stars
 
 
 
(Deleted comment)
the female ghost of tom joad: lost jacob/mibjanie_tangerine on January 7th, 2011 10:25 pm (UTC)
I don't think I've seen an alt!Jacob/MIB fic either even if tbh it isn't my ship and I probably might have just missed it. ;) But I'm really glad this worked for you, especially because considering that it's not my ship (as said) and it was half 2nd person POV and that I ended up giving it half a happy ending (?!!) I was pretty much sure it was horrible. XD thanks so much for reading! (And for convincing me that maybe it wasn't that bad, lol.)