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10 April 2011 @ 05:40 pm
the earth died screaming, 4/4  
The sun is still shining up there and Jimmy keeps on wondering why is it that it never rains.

Maybe angels don’t like rain. At times he just wishes that the weather wasn’t… so perfect. He misses the times when the weather could suck, exactly like human race had the chance to suck, but those times are gone. He’ll never make peace with it, but maybe one day he’ll just accept it the way you accept inevitable things. He kind of dreads thinking of that day.

“At times I wonder if we just should leave,” Dean says from his right side. They’re standing on the porch, strangely pristine in the middle of a devastated road. Jimmy wonders that too, because this might have been the last gift Castiel had for him or them, but can they really stay here forever or until they waste away? Or should they try to find someone else and… do something, whatever it could be? If there’s someone else around, which isn’t even a sure bet.

“At times I ask myself the same. At least we have the choice, right? Differently from everyone else around.”

It’s still more than the vessels have, after all. They don’t have a choice just because they don’t know what choice means.

“Yeah, right. Shit, they freak me out so much.”

“Me too, but I’ll agree with you that you’re entitled to be freaked out by the whole lot of them. They don’t have my eyes, after all.”

Dean shivers and Jimmy sighs. He has told him the entire story, and Dean still doesn’t remember anything. At this point Jimmy thinks he never will.

Castiel might have been right, but Dean still should have had a choice. Angels are dicks, really. Jimmy has changed idea on a lot of things, and one of them is that he’s glad he still remembers how it was before. Who he was before. The fact that he’s the only one who does (because while Dean is human, he doesn’t know how it was anymore) still makes him uncomfortable, but someone should know, and if it has to be him, he’ll deal with it.

“And where would we go?” Jimmy asks then, and Dean shrugs.

“I dunno. Somewhere?”

None of them has much hope that other people survived. If they did, it’d be no one they already know.

“Sounds better than nowhere,” Jimmy murmurs, and he knows it won’t happen today. Or tomorrow.

But soon. Sooner than later.

He doesn’t even know if he’s looking forward to it. Then again, having a doubt is better than not knowing what doubt is.

“Well, we’ll see, I guess. If I ask you to tell me about Cas again will you kill me?”

Jimmy wishes he had more he could tell Dean about his brother or his family, but what he knows is what Castiel knew and Castiel is Jimmy’s strong topic. But there’s something in the way Dean looks at him whenever he asks, like he hopes that if Jimmy tells him something enough times that he’d remember it, and who is Jimmy to deny him that?

“I doubt I’d kill you over something so trivial. Of course.”

He starts talking, and if for the entire time he glances up at the sky and he doesn’t see a single cloud, it’s nothing new.

End.
 
 
feeling: okayokay
 
 
 
Shini4422shini on April 19th, 2011 10:24 pm (UTC)
Wow. That was very unique and thoughtful. I very much enjoyed it, even though I feel like I want to ball my eyes out :D

<3
the female ghost of tom joad: supernatural jimmy 4.0janie_tangerine on April 22nd, 2011 09:04 am (UTC)
Aw, thanks! :D it's great to know you liked it. And sorry for the whole bailing youreyes out thing but I can only feel sort of accomplished if it had that effect. ;)