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06 July 2011 @ 10:29 pm
someone stop me dammit - a storm of swords (yes I finished it)  
I'm not starting the fourth now though. I have an exam on the 11th and I really can't afford it. But it makes me lol that if I hadn't had that exam I'd have finished just in time for the fifth book to be out. Anyway. Spoilers.

1. ...........


Thankfully I had been smelling it for a while. Or otherwise I'd have really thrown the book against a wall, but there had been too many signs (Melisandre and the leech, the easy conditions, the Karstark guy's last words, Robb naming the heir and then the Roslin girl crying at the wedding etcetera) not to understand where it was heading. And just - UGH. The Red Wedding has to be the most disgusting thing happening so far because seriously? GUESTS? Freys, you can all die. I hope you do.

Then again, it's not like my favorite characters don't bite it at some point. Darling, I'll miss you. But for the time you were around you were glorious. YOUR FACE. That scene with Cat where he said he wanted Jon to be his heir - awwwww MY HEART. Uhm, I can hope it turns up later? Someone has to know, they can't have all died. And where he killed the Karstark guy (can't remember the spelling, sorry if it's wrong) was just - HE WAS ALL NED.

Clearly if you have a shred of honor in these books you have to die.

2. Re the Red Wedding: HOW THE HOLY FUCK DID CAT SURVIVE? O________________________O I WAS LIKE O______________O WHEN SHE TURNED UP IN THE EPILOGUE. LIKE, WTF. Though well, knowing that she didn't die thinking that all her kids were dead is a relief. Though - idek. Also GRRM is a bastard. For a while I had thought he had killed Arya too.

3. Re Arya: poor girl. She's so bitter. No wonder considering what she's been through. To think that she had been so close to meet her mother again. I can't wait to see what happens with her now.

4. My respect for Sansa keeps on growing. Shit, poor girl. Everywhere she goes SOMETHING worse happens to her or what? Though tbh I'm much glad she isn't marrying the Robert kid anytime soon (can I hope he bites it with the likes of his mom?). Also uuhm, Sansa/Hound remains my ship, but I kinda liked Sansa/Tyrion for what it was. Shit, poor girl. I just hope she stops taking beatings at some point. I live for the moment she actually becomes dangerous. Also she needs to meet Sandor again or I'll be sorely disappointed. I SHIP THEM HARD OKAY.

5. JOFFREY IS DEAD, THANK FUCK. It wasn't slow or painful enough though. BUT THANK FUCK. Him being dead almost made it up for Robb being dead, though - ROOOBBB. ;_______________________; Also WELL HI THANKS FOR SAYING IT WAS HIM WANTING BRAN DEAD. DIEDIEDIEDIE.

6. TYRION KEEPS ON BEING MY FAVORITE LANNISTER. Ugh, will the poor guy gets something nice too? No? Too bad. I kind of love how he's the most decent of them all even if he's as ugly as it goes. And I really hoped that he and Sansa had some moment of empathy I guess - after all they're both victims in a fashion - but well. (Also how he offed his dad was epic, even if I doubt it'll end up good for him. Kinslayers aren't that lucky.) Also ugh SHAE. ;____________; CAN'T SOMEONE JUST LIKE HIM A BIT? Idek. I want to hug him or something. Also all his thoughts about his nephew are my thoughts.

7. JAIME. I LOVE YOU. Okay. I loved him also before this - I see why people told me that you usually start to like him when he gets POVs, but I always thought he was delightful in his twisted/charming way. And I really liked his POVs and the information they gave about why he actually slayed Aerys - not that I needed to know he had a just reason to do it to like him, but whatever. Also I kinda ship Jaime/Brienne. *hides* Sorry, Jaime/Cersei shippers, but I couldn't help it.

Also, right hand-less? Niiice. Not so much though. I like that he's bullshit-less too, though. I know how to appreciate it.

8. ... please. Tell me that Cersei gets interesting when she gets POVs. I just. She's coming across still as too flat for me. And then when she's with Jaime and actually shows a bit of character it ends up drowned in flatness. I want to appreciate her. (Heck, I appreciated her dad, as a more or less horrible person.) But. I. Can't. One would think that the twins are a package deal but I just don't. Get. Her. Point.

9. Davos, can I keep you forever? End of story. HE HAS BRAINS. THERE'S A PERSON WITH BRAINS. I CAN'T EVEN - A PERSON WITH brains WHO ACTUALLY USES THEM. He's slowly but surely climbing my top ten.

10. Stannis, I like you - also because you're the only one of those stupid half-assed kings to actually USE YOUR HEAD AND GO WHERE THERE'S THE NEED (the Wall), but please get rid of Melisandre and her stupid god and the rest. I'm not gonna blame him for Robb (that can totally go to Melisandre) but just - LET ME LIKE YOU FULLY OKAY. Re Melisandre - just gtfo.

11. Bran's story was basically drawn out like fuck - the only important parts were that he needs to go beyond the wall and that they meet Sam - but I still enjoy his POVs enough. Also uuuhm. Rickon and Osha? GRRM? Where the fuck are they?


Okay, no, he knows everything, but OMYGOD the Wall bits were my favorites this round. ZOMBIES! (though I'll miss Mormont.) FIGHTING! INTERESTING THINGS! JON BEING AWESOME! I kinda liked Ygritte, poor girl. AND SAM. SAM. SAM. <3333333333333 HE FINALLY FOUND THE GUTS TO USE HIS HEAD. YES. He's climbing my top ten steadily as well. I loved his trick to win Jon the Commander position. Actually at the end I was all like :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD even if the rest of the book wasn't much :DDD. But I was just so HAPPY that he had won and he has found his place and Sam helped him with it and also THEY'RE GLORIOUS AND I STILL SHIP THEM. Also I love everyone at the wall, I decided. Except Slynt, of course. I love Jon okay. And Sam. And Grenn and everyone else. Heck, half of the time I like the wall best because it's the only place where people are on the same foot regardless of their name. Though I'd really like it if it turned out that Robb DID name Jon his heir after all and that he wouldn't need Stannis for him to get Winterfell. That would be quite nice.

13. Brienne is awesome. She's also half-smitten with Jaime, but that's what I think.

14. Littlefinger: WHUT. I don't exactly LIKE him, and him kissing Sansa was creepy as fuck, but at the same time he DID get us rid of Joffrey and Lysa, which were basically the top two people I wanted to go, so I can't exactly dislike him THAT much. Then again he fucked over a bunch of people I like, so I'll just be here and withhold judgment.

15. Sandor needs not to be dead next book okay. I love his scarred face and his cursing self.

16. Daenerys: I still think she's fierce as fuck. But I also hope she marches soon-ish, even if from what I get she isn't in the next book so let's just wait for five. Also UGH JORAH I LIKED YOU WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO US. Also Unsullied = saddest thing in this entire book. Seriously.

BUT AT LEAST NOW WE KNOW WHERE THE HELL SER BARRISTAN WAS. I'm not joking, I was going insane with the guy being MIA until now. Now if only GRRM ever tells us where the fuck Benjen Stark ended up... I guess eaten by zombies at this point, but I'd kinda really like to have a confirmation.

17. Knowing that Theon is currently being flayed alive was a thing that made me indeed very happy. The end. The lack of Asha was sad though. I like her okay.

18. Seriously wtf CATELYN. O___O don't tell me that it isn't referenced for the next book because IT'D BE CRUEL.

19. .... shit, Robb. ;________; LET ME GRIEVE OKAY. He was the only one in there who would have made a GOOD king, dammit.

20. Okay, that was it, though I'm baffled out by the fact that I wasn't as shocked as I could have been about a bunch of things happening, Red Wedding most of all. I usually don't guess shit a hundred pages before it hits the fan, but okay. I'll read the fourth at some point next week and then I'll be done. Also idek but I'm strangely detached even if I'm not - I mean, I squee and I have favorites and I headdesked and wtf-ed and went all like 'OMG YES' at the end, but I'm not having the visceral reactions that I had with the Dark Tower. Uuuhm. I guess that MAYBE I did learn my lesson after all but I'm standing the whole thing fine enough. And well, guess I got through the Red Wedding and its consequences (jesus I hope they don't show them if and when the show gets a season three - I have no urge of seeing Grey Wind's head sewed to Robb's maimed body ;______________________; UGH GREY WIND ;_______________;), it can't get worse... can it?

21. So, right now what I want to know: where the hell is Benjen Stark, where are Osha and Rickon, WHERE IS NYMERIA, wtf is Bran up to (and will he GO SOMEWHERE AT SOME POINT), WHAT THE HELL CATELYN, SANDOR WHAT ARE YOU DOING. Oh, and will Brienne and Jaime do it? (I hope so.) The last question was probably not on par with the rest.

... I don't even know. These books are like drugs.
feeling: shockedshocked
bold_seer: tv: thrones + catelyn (tully)bold_seer on July 6th, 2011 09:16 pm (UTC)
After Ned - and in many ways even more so - that's the most upsetting death so far, poor Robb. Obviously Catelyn, too, poor Cat, but - zombie!Cat, that's what's made it a difficult question to answer!

I have no urge of seeing Grey Wind's head sewed to Robb's maimed body

IKR? I saw fanart once for that; it was beautiful and not (unnecessarily) gory, but I just wanted to hide under a blanket, hugging a pillow after that. :/ Most :( part so far, I think?

Also uuhm, Sansa/Hound remains my ship, but I kinda liked Sansa/Tyrion for what it was. Shit, poor girl.

I'd say you're not alone shipping Sansan (well, it's certainly more amusing than most ship smush names).

Davos, can I keep you forever? End of story.

YAY! \O/ He's my second most fave character! :D (I'm eagerly waiting for casting news.)

Dany's great (er, still), lots of people ship Jaime/Brienne (I, too, but very casually) and This singer's killed my lady wife is pretty much the best chapter ending ever, right, so you've got to give Littlefinger that. The books are like drugs; it is known. Are you going to buy book five? (Although German Amazon shipped out some copies early - huge scandal! - so it might all be online already. I'm trying to avoid spoilers.)

Continuing with book four, then. Some people don't like book four as much as the other ones, but I don't agree. Anyway, I'm pretty sure one of the main reasons is the lack of Tyrion, Jon and Dany. I get what you're saying about flatness, but I actually do find Cersei at least somewhat interesting. Oh, and Stannis. And I shipped Dany/Jorah. And I'm just stating random things here, really. And to at least half your questions, we still want to know the answer to! XD
the female ghost of tom joad: GoTjanie_tangerine on July 6th, 2011 09:30 pm (UTC)
ROOOBBB. ;______________; I don't know which one was worse between him and Ned. I mean Ned died a traitor and he died a guest and LIKE THAT. Ugh, like father like son indeed. I wasn't betting on him surviving through the end - my favorites never do - but I went for the one with the gruesome death, didn't I. And he was also POV-less, poor my darling. *hugs to pieces*

Also zombie!Cat = WTF. HOW. DID. SHE. SURVIVE.

.... I really will pass on fanart for that bit. It was just the kind of unnecessary maiming that I don't ever need to see for real. I mean. Ugh. Just. DARLINGS.

... wait, Sansan is Sansa/Tyrion? LOL. XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD it... is amusing. XDDDD Sansa/Hound remains perfectly glorious though.

Uhm good to know re Jaime/Brienne. It's an interesting ship. I guess that I just find Brienne more interesting than Cersei XD I don't know, there were parts in Clash of Kings were I REALLY thought she was interesting (when she had that talk with Sansa about how much it sucks ass to be a woman in Westeros), but most of the time she bores-me-to-pieces. And I can appreciate not-good people enough, but with her I just can't find it in myself to like her.


I don't mind the lack of Tyrion/Jon/Dany since I get Jaime, Brienne, Sansa and SAM most of all (I love Sam chapters. He's a dear). Also I saw that there are Asha POVs and I'm very excited to get to them since she's the only Greyjoy I love to pieces. And haha I like Stannis, I just wish he didn't come with gods that require human pyres to do things. ;) I totes shipped Dany/Jorah too. And haha I guess that it's good that the other half is answered ;) ;)

Also I think I'll get five unless four delivers me a blow of majestic proportions of the I-cheated-you-reader kind, but I highly doubt that it can happen. I mean, if I got through the Red Wedding more or less with my dignity intact, I can get through anything GRRM throws at me. ;) Though I'll try to pay it less than the 30 euros they ask for. :/

This singer's killed my lady wife is pretty much the best chapter ending ever

TOTALLY. If I have to give something to Littefinger is that his dialogue never disappoints. Idk I'm not over his role with Ned and I don't like him putting his hands where he shouldn't, but then again he got me rid of Joffrey and Lysa so I can't exactly say I don't appreciate. ;)
bold_seer: tv: thrones + sansa (song)bold_seer on July 8th, 2011 05:59 am (UTC)
Oh, it's just Ned! Is. Was? :´( Davos, I'm weirdly attached to for no reason whatsoever. Other than that he's pretty cool, and a decent guy and other awesome things.

(Damn, I deleted my Ned icon in advance. To buy more icon space or not, that is the question.)
the female ghost of tom joad: GoT >> nedjanie_tangerine on July 8th, 2011 03:48 pm (UTC)
Lol I thought it could be Ned ten seconds after I posted that comment but I was assuming we were talking about living people. Totally legitimate choice though - if we count dead people then Ned is totally at least in my top ten if not five. Ugh I miss him. And ha, well, I think that Davos, other than being cool and decent, is one of the three people in there who has brains and uses them but doesn't think he's oh-so-smart, you know. More or less the same reason that Sam is my favorite wall person except for Jon but I just like smart people who put their smart to use without scheming/horrible purposes. XD
Emilyemiliglia on July 6th, 2011 09:40 pm (UTC)
I read your last review and saw that Robb wasn't your favorite and wasn't sure if I should warn you about the next book or not. The Red Wedding was pretty much where the books where done for me, even though I read the next one, because Robb was pretty much my last glimmer of hope, and then he got killed so horribly.

I can't remember if Catelyn is a POV character or not in the next book, but she is in it a lot.
the female ghost of tom joad: GoTjanie_tangerine on July 6th, 2011 09:47 pm (UTC)
I had been more or less warned (IE, at least four people were like 'you'll hate book three so much') and my favorites always die so I was braced for SOMETHING. Then I started reading signs and I realized it was going to be horrible, so when it actually happened I pretty much stared at the last page in shock but that was the most of it. If I hadn't had an idea and if I had been invested in these people as much as I had been invested in Dark Tower people I'd have probably quit though. I mean, something similar happened in the DT too but it was in the last book so I wasn't going to quit at the end, but still. :/// It was horrible. Just. Horrible. I guess it's a good thing I'm not invested in the visceral kind of sense. Ugh. :/// (though the worst thing was what they did after - that made me kinda want to retch. Still I guess I'm not done since there are still people I care about.)

I don't think she is but thanks for confirming that she's in it - leaving it THERE and ignoring it for the entire fourth would have been unfair at least.
i want to huggle you (and your little dog, too): WINTERblue_fjords on July 6th, 2011 10:28 pm (UTC)
yay, jaime/brienne is my secondary otp. :) So we are on the OTP love train once again!!! And in my opinion, Cersei never gets interesting. At some point this summer I will finish watching the series and see if I find her more nuanced and worthy of screenplay when she is flesh and blood, but in the books I think her character is flat and lifeless. Which is partly the point, as she thinks she's so cunning but she doesn't have what it takes, in my opinion, but I still -- my eyes glaze over when I see her name.

Catelyn -- she did die, or was mostly dead. There are lots of miracle workers in Westeros.

And Littlefinger -- I really don't like him. I know a lot of people do b/c he's clever and interesting and, in his way, devoted to his cause. But I really can't stand him. Different strokes for different folks, yo.

I was worried what your reaction would be to the Red Wedding! I'm glad you are okay.
the female ghost of tom joad: GoTjanie_tangerine on July 6th, 2011 10:40 pm (UTC)
Ehe, YAY FOR SHARING SHIPS! Sansa/Sandor is totally my number one, end of story. Jaime/Brienne is battling with Jon/Sam and Jon/Robb though the latter makes me want to cry if I just think about it, er XD but it's glorious. I totally like them way better than I'll ever like Jaime and Cersei. And it's not that they're related - it's just that she's flatflatflat.

Which is partly the point, as she thinks she's so cunning but she doesn't have what it takes, in my opinion

THAT. I just - ugh. If only she COULD scheme nicely. But when Tyrion was up and about he outwitted her at every turn and she managed to do the same just when he was locked down in a cellar. :/// and it's just in comparison to him. I just can't warm up to her at all.

... RIGHT, I had forgotten with whom she was when she turned up. Oh dear, zombie!Cat = I LIKE. But yeah I was kind of really wondering how the heck you survive having your throat cut.

I don't really -like- him 100% - I think he's interesting and I can appreciate that he got me rid of two people I couldn't stand (yeah look at how nice I am to fictional characters) but I have too many issues with him for being on his team. Also unless we're talking about Tyrion-like people I don't have much patience for endless scheming/cunning. There's people I don't like more than him though, but still. See, that's the reason I always liked Jaime - he's as straight as it goes. XD

Yeah, I'm... mostly okay. I'm just glad I saw it coming miles away. I wasn't anywhere near ready for the aftermath (IE maimed bodies attached to direwolf heads) but if I hadn't had an idea that it was happening you'd have heard me howling from across the ocean. ;)
The Cleaveragekel_reiley on July 7th, 2011 03:32 pm (UTC)
Cersei is basically... a raving loony. Only less interesting. I never really felt anything toward her but annoyance. I like what happens to her, tho :D

ROBB! I'm glad that one didn't come as quite a shock to you. I was very upset when I got to that part.
the female ghost of tom joad: GoTjanie_tangerine on July 7th, 2011 06:10 pm (UTC)
Oh, good to know that it's not just me. I just don't get her whatsoever. Or well, I do in THEORY, but ugh. I have zero sympathy for her. :/

ROOOBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB ;__________________; nah thankfully I had seen that coming for a whole number of reasons so I didn't get TOO scarred, but it was revolting. :/
The Cleaveragekel_reiley on July 7th, 2011 06:19 pm (UTC)
i was pretty much in shock after the red wedding :(

cercei truly just gets crazier and crazier... it's almost fascinating, but not enough to make me care about her
the female ghost of tom joad: zombies are always relevantjanie_tangerine on July 7th, 2011 06:36 pm (UTC)
What shocked me was the whole thing with the direwolf's head sewn over Robb's body and the likes ;______; I had understood that there was no way he was going to make it through the book when Melisandre did her thing, then he killed the guy he was related to, there were too many signs. Also a bunch of people were like 'you won't like stuff in book three' so the thing itself didn't shock me. it was the HOW. :(((( I guess that if you're a bit like Ned you have to die a gruesome death...

UGH, MORE CRAZY? I just hope it's because Jaime runs off with Brienne lololol ;) it's just, there's nothing but the crazy. The only bits where I really thought she could be interesting was that conversation with Sansa in Clash of Kings and also in Game of Thrones when she talks to Ned, but for the rest she just annoys me being crazy without any other purpose than driving me insane. Also it makes me feel weird that I really love Jaime and did from the beginning while she's like UGH GO AWAY. One would think that they'd be a package deal, but. XD
The Cleaveragekel_reiley on July 7th, 2011 06:43 pm (UTC)
frankly, i can't see why jaime ever liked her!
the female ghost of tom joad: GoTjanie_tangerine on July 7th, 2011 06:55 pm (UTC)
LOL I KNOW? XD I mean I don't ship it but I take it for what it is since it's canon - I can't argue that he doesn't love her that way - but tbh I don't see it either. No wonder he has Brienne-shaped dreams. ;) ;) ;)
The Cleaveragekel_reiley on July 7th, 2011 06:59 pm (UTC)
i can only assume she was different as a child, and grew into her crazy ass self as time went on and her life sucked more and more (being married to a man who couldn't really stand you has to have an effect)
the female ghost of tom joad: GoT >> perfect ship is perfectjanie_tangerine on July 8th, 2011 03:53 pm (UTC)
Totally a point. Idk I don't -want- to dislike her, and I don't want to hate on her, and I sorta get her reasoning, but she just bores me. It's not even that she's the bad guy or whatever - no one in that family is stainless - but jeez I thought her DAD was more interesting, and it's not like he was this nice person either. It's like, I get her motivations, I get her point, I get why she is the way she is, but.. I just can't give a damn about it, poor woman. XD
The Cleaveragekel_reiley on July 9th, 2011 01:23 am (UTC)
pretty much, yeah, she doesn't really inspire an strong feelings in me at all, aside from BORED
(Deleted comment)
the female ghost of tom joad: asoif >> davosjanie_tangerine on July 10th, 2011 11:27 am (UTC)
Yeah, WORD. DAVOS DON'T DIE DON'T DIE. Tho well come on, poor Jon is as honorable as it goes. Tho Ygritte won't agree, but then again he knows nothing.


ooooh I LIKE. Especially since he helped Sam and Gilly instead of like eating them. I stand behind it!

good point re Nymeria. BUT COME ON GET OUT ARYA NEEDS YOU.

Lol I can wait for the Sansa/Sandor reunion ;) ;) ;) but then they HAVE TO DO IT. and she needs to be on top