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19 December 2007 @ 12:34 am
It's a Wonderful Life - continued  

Now he was near LAX, on a hill, hidden behind some bushes. He couldn’t understand why but...

“Goodbye, Jack.”

“We have to go back, Kate!”

That voice...

He turned and saw Jack and Kate standing in front of each other. Kate was dressed like a perfect business woman, tailleur and make up and hairdresser’s cut, but Jack... Jack had a beard of a month, wore filthy clothes, had bloodshot eyes and looked...

Looked like a madman.

She looked at him with uttermost pity, turned and left him there, where he crashed to his knees.

That wasn’t possible.

Kate was on the run and Jack went back to LA and was working again and last time he heard him everything was fine and...

Sawyer stepped out of the bush and went nearer; Jack was crying without even trying to stop, with wrenching sobs that were tearing Sawyer apart in a way he never thought could be possible. He knelt down.

“... Doc...?”

Jack raised his head and looked at him suspiciously.

“Do I know you?”

Sawyer understood that it wasn’t worth trying to say he did.

“No, but I know you. Flight 815 survivor, ain’t ya?”

“Yeah. Though I wish I wasn’t.”

Sawyer could smell the alcohol in Jack’s breath. Oh, it still was him, the man he called his only friend once, but how could he ever become so wasted?

“She was too. But she doesn’t understand it. We have to... we have to go back...”

“I... I don’t doubt that but...”

Jack just stood, went back to his truck, murmuring We have to go back, and Sawyer didn’t have the heart to follow him.

He knew that Boone was back. He didn’t even need to look at him.

“I want the whole thing. Now.”

“Ben killed Ana. Not Michael. They formed a searching party, Jack, Kate and Hurley. They only got Kate and Jack and sent Hurley back. Then, you weren’t there and you couldn’t be used as a leverage. So Ben asked Kate to have a deal. They would make the charges against her drop and she would convince Jack to do the surgery.”

“Did... did she?”

“Yeah. So she wasn’t actually wanted anymore when they came back. Anyway, Jack did the surgery and Juliet helped Kate escape. Then she was back with Sayid and Locke and everything went as it was when you were there. But then, Jack chose Kate and Juliet went back to Miami because she couldn’t stay in LA. You follow me?”

“Yeah... then?”

“Then Claire died. And Jack started to wonder about everything. It started with that and now... you see, right? And Juliet’s sister died because he should have been working the shift when she came at the hospital, but he was drunk out of his mind.”

“But... he...”

“No, Sawyer. In your world, he is okay and he doesn’t drink. But it’s also because you told him about his father. You get that?”

Suddenly all the pieces of the puzzle clicked.

“And so... so she leaves him like that?”

“They don’t love each other anymore. And she doesn’t really want him around like that. And of course she doesn’t believe any of that ‘I want to go back ‘ bullshit.”

“I... I...”

“You can’t bear the idea, can you?”

Now Sawyer was standing again on that bridge in Interior. Boone was still in front of him, wind blowing through his hair, a sad, little smile on his face.

“You didn’t like that, did you?”

“Damn sure I hated it, pretty prince! That’s.. that’s impossible... that can’t be..:”

“Do you get now that you are of some good?”

“But I didn’t decide for those things to happen!”

“And you think that for instance saving Michael’s life with a bullet in your shoulder wasn’t any good, at the moment? And that's only the first of the things I could come up with. Can’t you see that maybe you didn’t mean it but you did it? You didn’t waste your life.”

“Can... can you answer me a couple questions?”

“I think so.”

“Duckett. How’s he?”

“He died because Hibbs found someone else to kill him anyway. Cooper, though, died on the island. It wasn’t Locke, but hell, when you are tied there for a week, you die anyway. And I think it’s worse than how he died when you... well..”

“My mom? My dad?”

“He conned her anyway. And your dad killed her anyway. You just weren’t there, Sawyer, but that happened. Sorry but your presence didn’t change anything. Or your absence for that matter.”

Sawyer now was looking again at the dark waters of the river. They looked not so inviting anymore. He brought a hand to his eyes; he was crying and he didn’t even realize it. No, worse. He was sobbing.

“Let me go back.”, he whispered.

“Back where?”

“Where I existed, smartass! You know that.”

“Yeah, I did. Kinda. You won’t do anything stupid, will you?”

“Damn sure I won’t. I prefer to be in prison there than.. than... well, you’ve got it.”

“Wise choice.”

Boone came nearer and Sawyer turned to look at him, not bothering to hide the fact that he was crying; he looked into those blue, enourmous eyes which shone with something close to kindness, he saw two soft, pink lips turn into a smile and then Boone nodded and just disappeared.

The snow was falling and he could feel blood in his mouth; his jacket felt heavy because the book was there. He could feel the glasses too.

He actually never felt so happy in his whole damn life. He almost welcomed the freezing cold and didn’t move an inch when a car drove up the bridge and the FBI guy came out.

“James Ford. I found you at least.”

Sawyer had this urge to go to him and tell him thanks but he didn’t. He just lowered his eyes and smiled.

“Yeah, you did alright.”

“You’ve done a hell of a job running from me.”

“Guess I got sick. You takin’ me to Rapid City jail now?”

“Not so lucky. It snows too much and with the festivities and all you’ll have to settle for Interior’s jail. Let me tell you, you could choose a nicer place to hide.”

“Well, at least we’re stuck in two.”

Sawyer just offered his hands, the FBI guy just took him by the arm and brought him to the car. He felt the heat there melting the snow on his hair and just smiled. It was okay like that. Better than what he saw.

Interior’s jail was in the police station and consisted of two cells; Sawyer got one, while the other was occupied by some drunk guy sleeping the night off. The bed was hard and the heating was broken but Sawyer settled with the blanket some agent gave him, laughed when FBI told him he had a ten thousand dollar bail, like he could pay a third of it, and just went to sleep. Whatever happened next, he didn’t care. Not a bit.

Next morning a cop brought him coffee and he actually thanked him without any remark. After he drank it, he settled on his bed and took the book from under the pillow where he had put it before going to sleep. He was just in the middle when the cop came again.

“Hey, you’re on the newspapers.”


The cop shrugged and passed him a copy of The Rapid City Journal, where in a small article on page 18 someone said that ex con man, ex convict James Ford, famous for being a flight 815 survivor, was arrested in Interior last evening.


He handed the newspaper back to the cop and went back to George and Lennie.

At the station they set up a tree with gifts and everything. Sawyer could see it from his cell; three days before, he would have found that pathetic, now it wasn’t like he approved of that but he didn’t see any patheticness in it. A few cops stayed the night, he got to talk with a couple of them, let them share their misery about being more comfortable there than with an empty house and kinda understood them. Because hell, he was on the same boat. He asked one of them to check out what was of his bilocal, he did it and Sawyer found out the renter sold it.

The fact that he had no place to go and no money at all didn’t seem so terrible anyway.

He watched the whole police station exchanging gifts on the 24th and then he was left with the cop that brought him the paper and a couple others who decided to play some poker. And since they were three and needed the fourth, they just trasferred the table in his cell. Sawyer lost, of course, it wasn’t like he ever was any good at it, but anyway betting mangoes or pens, rubbers and clips wasn’t that different.

He fell asleep at some point after one in the morning, when the table was closed, and would have gladly slept through Christmas if the cop who had won all the pens at the poker table didn’t wake him up.

“You’ve got visitors, Ford.”

Sawyer blinked his eyes a couple of times, almost falling off the bed.

“The fuck... visitors?”

“You do.”

“I don’t know anyone here!”

“Well, I’ve just warned you.”

The cop left the door of the cell and Sawyer, who had just sit on his bed, almost fell down from it.

Behind the cop, there was Jack. Clean shaved, with a pair of wrinkled suit pants and a shirt which hadn’t obviously been changed since a couple of days, but it was Jack, not that shell of a man he saw with Boone. Sawyer opened and closed his mouth a couple of times without knowing what to say.

“You look like a goldfish, you know?”

Doc? The fuck are you doin’ here?”

“It was all over the news yesterday morning. You think we were going to do nothing about it?”

“We? You mean you ain’t alone?”

“I’m not. There’s someone with me that’s paying your bail.”

“You aren’t wastin’ all that money on my bail I hope, ‘cause...”

“Well, let’s say I would have, but it’s Hurley’s money, not mine. I called him before leaving and he gave me a check and said...”

“Stop, stop. Hurley? Is he... alright?”

“The heck of a question is this? Of course he is! He even found some way to use his money with that benefit fund he opened in Libby’s memory, but you knew that, we were both at the party! Are you ok?”

Sawyer stood up shaking and reached the bars, closing his hands around them.

“Doc, could ya answer me a few questions? Don’t... I’m not crazy, but trust me, I just...”

“Well, sure I can but...”

“How’s Mamacita?”

“Claire? Hey it’s not like in six months anything’s changed! Her and Charlie are doing great, the girl is healthy and he’s writing his ‘big solo record’, I doubt that’ll sell but...”


“Juliet is in Miami with her sister and she’s the most appreciated in her field, we always call each other at least once a month and she’s happy as ever. Sawyer, you’re...”


“You mean Desmond? He’s in LA with that Penny of his, he actually designs apartments or something...”

“Sun and Jin?”

“They’re in LA too and they’ve got the same restaurant. Sawyer, we went there every year for the reunions, are...”

Sawyer just ignored him, turned his head and whispered thanks, then turned to Jack again. He wasn’t going to ask about Locke, assuming he still was on the island and Jack would have taken him for crazy if he hadn’t already.

“Are you alright?”

“Me? Of course I am, never been better in my whole life!”

“You... ever think ‘bout Freckles?”

“I haven’t for a while and anyway it wasn’t ever going to work between us. Saw that for you...”

“Yeah, but I think it’s definitely over.”

“And don’t worry, I’m not getting old like my dad.”

Sawyer breathed in relief.

“Sawyer, I really don’t understand...”

“You ain’t supposed to. Thanks.”

Jack felt just as puzzled as ever, but kept on with what he had to say in the beginning.

“Anyway, Hurley said he's got a good lawyer. He already spoke with him and said that you just have to show to court once because you really haven’t done anything that could put you to jail for life and anyway everyone from the island is ready to testify for you.”

“But I ain’t ever going to pay...”

“You don’t have to pay for anything. He’s got it covered.”

“I meant pay him back.”

“You think he wants money from you? Don’t be idiotic, you don’t ask friends to pay back for these things.”

Friends? Sawyer felt his cheeks burning and then Jack’s hands were on his, around the bars.

“You look kind of shocked.”

“I... I wasn’t just expectin’... and one moment, this is fuckin’ South Dakota and you live in LA. How the fuck could you..:?”

“We drove all day yesterday and then switched and kept during the night. You can do it, you know.”

“You ain’t even changed your clothes?”

“Well, no. We just left when we heard the news.”

“I can’t believe that you and whoever Mystery Guy just... did that.”

“And why not?”

“’Cause it was me and ‘cause it’s fuckin’ Christmas or whatever. I...”

“Well, I don’t want to know what you would have done. I couldn’t do otherwise.”

Now he felt all tingly and Sawyer couldn’t place that, just couldn’t and...

“Bail’s paid, you’re free to go. I’m opening the door, take whatever you have.”

Sawyer went to get the book, the glasses and his jacket, his hands shaking. Then the cop opened the door and Jack stood in front of it, just outside. Sawyer took a breath, turned and went in the direction of the door.


“... Yes?”

“I’m gonna do one thing now. It’s gonna be totally out of character. Don’t you freak out, ok?”

“Sawyer, I really don’t think I’d freak out for anyth...”

Jack was cut short by Sawyer throwing his arms around him and holding him there and Jack could only do the same, a hand casually on Sawyer’s neck, and it felt alright, for both of them. Sawyer just shut his eyes and let his breath of relief go, hoping no one could see the emotional mess that was his face, when...

“Wow. I wasn’t surely expecting this, you know?”

Sawyer’s eyes shot open and he looked in front of him.

That voice...

He wasn’t wrong; Sayid was in front of them, fine as ever, with his arms crossed and a slight grin on his face. He looked amused, the bastard. So here it was Mystery Guy.

Then Sawyer flashed that damn cross.

He let go of Jack and looked at Sayid almost in disbelief.

“You are here?”

“Sure I am.”

“Fuck that... Al Jazeera, is that you?”

“That’s when I come to regret driving for half the country. Then again, if you had not come on the beach at that time, I would most definitely be still there and...”

It was too much to take. Sawyer took two steps and almost crushed Sayid against him. He needed some proof that he was real and if he had to have Sayid choke on him, fine. But Sayid just held back and grinned again in Jack’s direction, who was leaning against the bars and looked just as pleased as he could ever be.

“Damn, you son of a bitch, you’re alive then...”

“Why shouldn’t I? Hey, are you alright?”

“Let it go, it’s peachy. Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”

He let go of Sayid too and looked at the both of them.

“So you came together, huh?”

“Yeah. We actually...”

Jack eyed Sayid, who just nodded.

“We live together.”

If he hadn’t fainted until then, he could resist now... though he needed a chair, definitely, and so grabbed the nearest and let himself fall on it.

“You what?”

“I spent a couple of years searching for Nadia, and I found her. We just parted on good terms though, it wasn’t like... oh, well, I will cut this short. Some five months ago I came to LA and asked our friend Jack here if I could take advantage of his hospitality and spend a couple of weeks at his apartment while I tried to find one of my own...”

“... but as he always cooked breakfast and dinner since I didn’t want him to pay for his staying. I think I actually was taking advantage of him, even if he disagrees. Anyway, the conditions were good for both of us and so he never searched that seriously for it. And we get along just fine.”

Sawyer couldn’t just imagine that, except that well, it actually had sense.

“Wow. Well, happy for you then. But what am I doin’ now? ‘Cause y’ know, I think my place ain’t my place anymore.”

Jack and Sayid just chuckled at the same time, which Sawyer thought in some degrees creepy, and Sayid turned to him again.

“Jack has a big place.”

“I don’t understand what you are implyin’, Captain Falaf..”

“You still aren't sick of those names? Sawyer, you are smarter than that. Sayid was just implying that you can come stay with us.”

Sawyer was grateful for already being on the chair. Otherwise, he could have fainted.

“You ain’t kidding?”

“Does it look like we’d travel through half the country to make fun at you?” said Jack through a smirk. Sawyer didn’t have enough strength to match that, but he guessed he betrayed himself shooting Jack a grateful look, because Jack just lowered his head and fucking blushed.

Sayid came near the chair.

“So, are you coming? We’d much prefer to leave while it’s still morning.”

“Yeah... sure.”

Sayid held out a hand to help him out, Sawyer took it, straightened his jacket around him and when Jack joined them he followed him and Sayid out of the station, waving at the policeman.

The car outside wasn’t too fancy, but big enough for five people; Sayid opened the driver’s door.

“You drivin’?”

“Yes, Jack had the last turn. You can both be in the back, if you wish.”

Sawyer just nodded blankly and followed Jack in the backseat. And out of nowhere he heard fucking bells.

“What time is that?”

“Twenty past ten.”

“And why the fuck they actually ring bells?”

“Well, it definitely is a weird hour,” Sayid agreed.

“You know... no, it’s silly.”

“What, Jackass?”

“Just... when I was at the elementary schools I had a teacher saying that when bells ring angels get wings, but it was just kids' bullsh... Sawyer, are you alright? You seem pale...”

“No, no, that’s okay.”

“And what would you gain outta helpin’ me?”

“My wings.”

“Your wings.”

“Yeah. You know, you have to earn them if...”

Sawyer then started to laugh hard, without caring about both of Jack and Sayid looking at him with at least a puzzled expression.

“Sawyer, what...”

“Nothin’. Nothin’, sorry, you can go.”

Jack shrugged and Sayid got the car started. Sawyer looked out of the window and could just say it in his thoughts.

You know, Metro, I bet you look ridiculously pretty now.

Then the radio started.

“.. Just the in betweens, honey, I want the heart, I want the soul, I want control right now... talk about a dream, try to make it real, you wake up in the night, with a fear so real..”

“Jackass, since when you listen to classic rock on Christmas day?”

“Since I hate Christmas and since Sayid doesn’t care.”

Sawyer chuckled as the car got started.

“Y’ know, so do I.”

It took a couple of minutes for Sawyer to feel suddenly tired. He closed his eyes, not actually caring of his head dropping on Jack’s shoulder, and for once in a while it felt alright, too. He tried not to notice that his last coherent image seen in the rear view mirror was a smirking Boone, with two idiotic, white wings showing on his shoulders.

He really needed to erase that movie from his memory for good.


feeling: indescribableindescribable
on rotation: one step closer - bon jovi
halfdutch: Boone by deb_iconshalfdutch on December 19th, 2007 12:20 am (UTC)
Oh, I loved that! It's one of my favorite movies and you did a great job of figuring out what the world would be like if Sawyer had never lived... and that of course he *did* do a lot of good. He's no George Bailey, but he is a hero, dammit! And Boone as an angel (a ridiculously pretty one) is too perfect! And a lovely happy ending. :)

And hey, you're using my Blade Runner theme! ♥
the female ghost of tom joad: boone dead but PRETTYjanie_tangerine on December 19th, 2007 09:06 am (UTC)
Oh well thank you so much! You are one of my favorite writers in the fandom so I'm even more glad that you enjoyed this ;) Isn't that just a great movie? I was watching it again the other week and the idea just clicked. And hell yeah, Sawyer doesn't know it but he really does some good. He'd better get aware of it ;) Boone would be the most ridiculously pretty angel ever. Much prettier than the movie's!

Oh yeah! I had found it on some community months ago and since that's my favorite movie ever I just had to use it, you definitely did a great job on that! ;)
halfdutch: Josh Heart by princesaskaterhalfdutch on December 20th, 2007 08:14 am (UTC)
Oh, you're so sweet! :) And yes, Boone is infinitely prettier than the cherub they got to rescue Jimmy Stewart!

And glad you like the mood theme. It's the first I ever made but I simply adore that film. I had it for my own theme for a while but Josh suits my LJ better!
the female ghost of tom joad: lost sawyer OMGjanie_tangerine on December 20th, 2007 11:10 am (UTC)
Well now one would go and think how Boone would look dressed like Jimmy's one, but I think he's much better as he is :)

Same side here, I love that movie in every possible way and I think that moodtheme is the one I've used most... I switched for some Lost one a while ago but it wanted to be used again, I guess it's my default one ;) though Josh is a perfectly legitimate choice!
°°  £å  §âM¥  °°: Lost * Sawyerlasamy on December 19th, 2007 01:03 am (UTC)
what can I say? A M A Z I N G *_*
the female ghost of tom joad: sawyer live together die alonejanie_tangerine on December 19th, 2007 09:07 am (UTC)
THANKS ♥ I already know what you think about it so I'll just go with the ♥ XD
elliotsmelliotelliotsmelliot on December 19th, 2007 04:23 am (UTC)
Wow, this is really thorough! Another great one on top of a very productive week for you. I like how you explained all the tragic finale stuff as evidence of a missing Sawyer. But come on, wasn't Boone always an angel?
the female ghost of tom joad: boone ♥janie_tangerine on December 19th, 2007 09:21 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! This week has been kind of post-fics-every-two-days but thing is that I had all started those for some time and then I finished everything in two days or something ;) I just wish they'd get a similar way to explain the tragic but I guess they won't. Though it served Sawyer to get some self-confidence here, I guess.

But come on, wasn't Boone always an angel?

For sure he was the nearest thing they had to one ;) now he's probably watching them, only that they don't show us. *hopes that Locke builds that hut again in S4*
falafel_fiction: dreamingfalafel_fiction on December 19th, 2007 12:31 pm (UTC)
What a cool idea for a fic. Boone made a wonderful Clarence. I hope he got his wings. Winged!Boone sounds sexy. Those dark futures were so eerie (especially Desmonds). Sad thing is I think that's where Lost is going and unlike your story I don't think the bleakness will be changed.

Are you entering this story for the Christmas holiday challenge? You totally should.

the female ghost of tom joad: future!jack roadhouse bluesjanie_tangerine on December 19th, 2007 03:12 pm (UTC)
Well thanks! Angel!Winged!Boone was just too good to let it pass. I think he got them. Or at least, I want him to have them. He would so put them off.

About the dark futures, yeah, that's my fear too. And I really don't like that idea that much. Here I just wanted to erase that final but I guess me and Darlton are not on the same side of the fence *sighs*

And yeah, I'm definitely entering it ;) thanks so much for reading again!
falafel_fiction: best budsfalafel_fiction on December 19th, 2007 03:53 pm (UTC)
I loved your warm cuddly future. Thank you so much for saving Charlie and Sayid! Bless our angel!Boone. Our saviour.
the female ghost of tom joad: charlie no skatejanie_tangerine on December 19th, 2007 07:40 pm (UTC)
I love my cozy future too ;) and hell, if I have to be all warm and cozy Charlie so lives! Bless our savior and amen to Angel!Boone ;)
dikela: Sawyerdikela on December 19th, 2007 06:10 pm (UTC)
I didn't see the movie, but I didn't need it to enjoy your story. Do, DO, DO go on writing.
This is not the first story of this kind (the hero sees what would happen if he wasn't born or died early) I have read, and yours is one of the best. You surprised me - just how necessary was Sawyer for almost everybody's happiness.
You know, I just remembered another examples: like when Jin attacked Michael for the watch. It were Sawyer and Sayid who puled him off. Suppose Sayid alone couldn't do it in time? Or taking the guns - what would have been the result if he didn't? The war? If someone would write this AU, because I couldn't. ;-(
Thank you again for your story. I am saving it.
the female ghost of tom joad: sawyer live together die alonejanie_tangerine on December 19th, 2007 07:48 pm (UTC)
Oh thank you so much! I so definitely plan on writing more Lost, I got kinda sucked in and it seems going with the flow freed me of some writer's block I had been having some months, so I just guess I'll keep on going with it ;) thanks for the compliments, I'm really glad you thought it was good in its genre! I had chosen Sawyer for it because he really seems to me like the one who would have less clue about doing some good to anyone, then I was plotting about where would all the others be without him and one finds out he really was/is necessary and that without his presence things would have been much worse ;)

You're right about those! I went with Micheal dying on the raft because to me it was just the perfect example of how Sawyer is willing to do some good things even if he doesn't acknowledge it but that could have occurred with Jin too... well that's the fun of AU, right? :)

Thank you so much again for reading this, I'm really glad you liked it!
alemyrddin: SawyerSmilealemyrddin on January 21st, 2008 03:37 pm (UTC)
- leggo solo ora che le feste sono passate, ma è davvero bello lo stesso! commenti in inglese perchè mi veniva più semplice ;) -

You know, Metro, I bet you look ridiculously pretty now
You know he does!

Loved this, very good use of an old movie.

I loved Jack's first line "You look like a goldfish, you know"

And this part: Friends? Sawyer felt his cheeks burning and then Jack’s hands were on his, around the bars

and the hugs, of course!
very sweet :)
the female ghost of tom joad: jooooon ammorejanie_tangerine on January 21st, 2008 05:09 pm (UTC)
- E io rispondo in inglese che mi viene più facile.. cosa direbbero i miei professori... :D-

He damn is pretty! If he only came to me too... ;) happy you liked it! And it's Christmas fic, you need the happy ending ;)