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20 January 2008 @ 11:16 pm
Fic, Lost: Elective Affinities, PG  
And since I still can't wrap my head around the serious one (yes, yes, always that one), I'm going with crack in all its glory.

Title: Elective Affinities
Characters: Desmond and, well.. someone who shall remain secret until you figure it out at line 3.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, very sadly.
Word count: around 550.
Summary: For philosophy_20 prompt #5, syzygy. Someone finds her missing half and it's a hell less complicated than triangles.
A/N: Well, I guess I don't have any excuses except that when I can't wrap my head around serious stuff I end up writing crack. And this is 100% crack from the start until the end. You'll probably figure out whose is the POV after two lines but hell, I tried my best at mysterious ;) sincere apologies to Goethe for stealing his title. I'm not worthy.

All her life, she had always felt a bit left apart.

Not much after she was born, she found out that she had a good number of sisters and that she was exactly the same as them. And when they were all together in some shiny, big place, she could see people get her sisters, petting them, taking them home.

But she was left there, in company of someone else with whom she didn’t care to have an actual conversation, until after a great deal of time someone came to get her, too.

At the beginning she really was happy, thinking she had found her place; but, turned out, the man who chose her didn’t care about her a lot and pretty much of her day was in some dark and boring place. Sometimes he took her out just to put her into another dark, boring and much more narrow place, and it went like this for a while.

Then, one day, the narrow place started shaking, really shaking, and there was maybe an explosion.

She didn’t know.

What she knew was water, and sun, and feeling wet.

Then someone brought her on shore so that she could dry and she stayed there for a day or two, enjoying the fresh hair breezing.

One day, some guy with blond hair and a very nice pair of dimples showed up.

“Guess I’ll take ya.”, he said. And she was happy, for a few moments, before being put into another dark place.

She didn’t get out of there for some time, really; the blond man didn’t care about her, she figured.

Then one day three other persons, another blond guy which seemed kind of jumpy but was really too small for her and one who was definitely too large for her, while the third was a nice blonde girl, finally took her out and brought her in the open, where she saw the most beautiful thing ever existed.

He wasn’t much tall, but his hips sure were something worth observing, and his triangular face was peculiar, but charming. The wind made his long hair flow and when he smiled at the blond guy who was carrying her, oh, she had never seen such a sweet smile her whole life!

She would have trembled under his hands, if she could have.

Instead, she felt his rough hands against her and watched him smiling.

“Well, sister, guess you’ll cover me up some, aye?”

And his accent was so, so charming.

When he unbuttoned her she could feel happiness rising through her fabric, which was blue as the sea surrounding that piece of shore. When he pulled on the sleeves, she finally enjoyed the feeling of someone wearing her.

When he unbuttoned half of her again, the soft fabric touching his chest and making both of them feel warm, she could have wept of joy, if she had had tears to weep and hadn’t been a cotton blue shirt sold in one hundred items in a fashion store of LAX.

He passed a hand over his chest, smoothing a few wrinkles. Then she heard someone shouting, probably the short guy.

“Desmond, you wanna eat something?”

“Aye brother, I’m comin’!”

Desmond, she thought, His name is Desmond. It felt nice. And it felt like she finally found her missing half.


I didn't say it at the beginning because I'd have given away who talked, but yes, it's a sorta companion piece to my other Desmond shirt fic. No need to read that though.

feeling: weirdweird
on rotation: rossini - that guillaume tell aria where the guy kills his vocal chords
falafel_fiction: maybe...falafel_fiction on January 21st, 2008 12:11 am (UTC)
Blue-shirt centric fic!! Genius.

Aw, I love that the shirt is a girl. I'm so glad she found true happiness in the end. Desmond may not have Penny, but at least he has blue shirt!
the female ghost of tom joad: lost deeeees **janie_tangerine on January 21st, 2008 06:05 am (UTC)
Couldn't it miss? I mean, it's Desmond. You gotta need the blue shirt fic! ;)

Oh yeah she's a girl and she's got a taste, the woman. At least one of them is happy and well, if Desmond wore me all the time I'd most certainly be. Thanks so much for reading!
Laura: DESMONDelise_509 on January 21st, 2008 12:59 am (UTC)
Ha! This was awesome. Blue Shirt fic crack fic! This is definitely original, babe. ;)
the female ghost of tom joad: lost des personal jesusjanie_tangerine on January 21st, 2008 06:06 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! It definitely was fun to write and crack is always good, isn't it?
Laura: GIGGLESelise_509 on January 21st, 2008 04:52 pm (UTC)
I'm always totally envious of crack!fic writers because I can't do it for the life of me. There's a talent for crack!fic and I don't got it. you do though!!! you should write more. ;)
the female ghost of tom joad: lost sawyer/jack smilejanie_tangerine on January 21st, 2008 05:05 pm (UTC)
Well if you lack talent with crack you totally make up for it in normal fic ;) and I'm sure writing more, I have at least a long one that has been around my brain for some time now..

Edited at 2008-01-21 05:06 pm (UTC)
elliotsmelliot: team blue shirtelliotsmelliot on January 21st, 2008 02:57 am (UTC)
I so thought this was Vincent at first and then it got too weird to be and then I got it! Ah, the shirt is female wants to join the team. Synergy, indeed!
the female ghost of tom joad: lost des personal jesusjanie_tangerine on January 21st, 2008 06:08 am (UTC)
Well I tried to complicate things at the beginning but I guess one had to find me out before I said it, though thinking like a shirt was, uhm, weird. But I'd have been surprised if it wasn't ;) oh yes she's so female! And the team will have an honorary president ;)
alemyrddin: HurleyDudeVanalemyrddin on January 21st, 2008 04:41 pm (UTC)
lol. This is seriously brilliant crack!
the female ghost of tom joad: lost hurley PWNSjanie_tangerine on January 21st, 2008 05:03 pm (UTC)
Lol grazie! Erano mesi che mi volevo togliere la soddisfazione.. ;)
aboutbunniesaboutbunnies on January 21st, 2008 11:10 pm (UTC)
Brilliant! I love it!
the female ghost of tom joad: lost deeeees **janie_tangerine on January 22nd, 2008 09:03 am (UTC)
Thanks, glad you liked it!
Kaci: lost / it was enoughtodaysgoneby on March 14th, 2008 06:20 pm (UTC)
LOLOL, this is definitely what I needed while dying of boredom at work!
the female ghost of tom joad: lost des blue shirtjanie_tangerine on March 14th, 2008 06:34 pm (UTC)
Well definitely glad that you liked it!! It's probably the most cracked out thing I ever wrote but I got a sort of affection for it... ;)
pinkeraserdustpinkeraserdust on May 3rd, 2008 12:02 am (UTC)
If I didn't have to go out in, like, three minutes, I'd read the other Desmond shirt fic. But I guess it'll have to wait. >.<

This was the CUTEST thing ever! I totally envy that shirt, so it feels good to know that even she had a troubled past. Xd
the female ghost of tom joad: lost des blue shirtjanie_tangerine on May 3rd, 2008 01:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! Heee, isn't the blue shirt a doll? I grew fond of her and totally wanted an happy ending ;) glad you liked it! The other one is... well, quite as insane as this one. I warned ;)
pinkeraserdustpinkeraserdust on May 3rd, 2008 02:56 pm (UTC)
Mmkay, thanks for the warning. ^__~
sad side of normal: Lost: cheers!fosfomifira on October 28th, 2008 04:08 am (UTC)
I love inanimate-object crack!fic. It makes all the crazyness in Lost canon seem a little more plausible and fun.

I may not be Desmond's number one fan, but even I will admit that he+Blue Shirt=OTP. And Blue Shirt makes a very important boy, how could anyone resist that accent?
the female ghost of tom joad: lost des blue shirtjanie_tangerine on October 28th, 2008 08:15 am (UTC)
Hee, thanks! I'm so ridiculously proud of this one. I swear it was harder than it looks like, but then again, I kinda owed it to the poor thing. The shirt, I mean.

And Des/Blue Shirt = OTP for life. I'll be very sad if he doesn't wear any blue next season.

how could anyone resist that accent?

I, for one, can't. I think no one could!
Janice: josh hollowayjaydblu on December 16th, 2008 03:55 pm (UTC)
Oh, I like this one too (there's nothing wrong with self-promotion!). It's really cute and sweet. I would be happy too if the blond guy with the nice dimples showed up, then gave me to the hot scottish guy to wear. This is the second time I've wished I was that shirt...*sigh*
I'm going to friend you, if that's okay...I've read your other stuff too, and I'd love to keep up with your writing.
the female ghost of tom joad: lost sawyer *g*janie_tangerine on December 16th, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC)
Oh, friend away! You know, I was kind of wanting to ask you ;) thank you so much!

And oh, we all wished we were it sometime, didn't we? Thanks, glad you enjoyed this one too!
Janice: lost s5 picjaydblu on December 16th, 2008 09:36 pm (UTC)
No, thank you! *smile*